The Messianic Counselor

[Ami]

The counselor was here on Monday. As the week passed, I have had more and more insights . I am so grateful to have a counselor. I have resisted any counseling,strongly. However,it IS such a relief .
 My M is a "traditional" counselor. Ann is a minister.
 Ann does not put herself in an authority role. She is helping me to find my place with God--to feel loved.The Bible says that" Perfect love casts out fear." I think if fear could dissolve in anyone, they would heal, then and there(IMO).
  It seems as if  fear is at the bottom of ALL our problems, if we go deeply enough. Shame is fear of being "found out" and then humiliated.
  I see that my problems have been believing lies---slowly, very slowly.It was the frog in the boiling water.
  She said that when s/one kills themselves, the survival mechanism has turned off. I see how my survival mechanism has "turned off", too,in many ways.My not being able to eat was the survival mechanism shutting down. My abdicating myself(emotionally) was this ,also.
 I asked Ann why I had to go SO low in order to find God. She said it was b/c I would not "submit" to authority,easily, b/c my "authority" had been my M. She said that some people do not have to go that low b/c they CAN submit to authority b/c they have had  parents, whom they could trust.
 That was a question I have always had.
  She sees the world  as an interplay  between spiritual forces.  It is making sense ,in my heart.
  I am seeing that when you "go down", you have allowed forces in ,which are slowly pulling you down and you do not realize this,at all. It happens so slowly.
 It must be like domestic abuse. You don't get 'beaten up" ,right away.. You get eroded and eroded . Your thinking, values, sense of self , sense of right and wrong, judgement, trust in yourself,  etc ,get diminished very, very slowly until domestic abuse is "normal"                 Ami
 
   

[Ami]

I told Ann my whole sordid history(lol). I started in my childhood with phobias . I was afraid that I would die ,if i went to sleep. I was afraid of sickness. I was afraid of anger.
 I was trying to control the monster in my M from not coming out if I could only be "good enough" and not make her angry. I am still having this pattern, today. I am trying to stave off anger.I am afraid of it--mine and other people's.
 I saw this ,yesterday, very clearly.
 When *I* get angry, I start worrying that the other person will be angry at me.
 I told Ann that I felt that I had to punish myself and was always trying to walk the line between punishing and living. She did not seem one bit surprised or taken aback.
  She saw it,simply as a spiritual force ,not a huge personality defect.

[Ami]

 Dear CB,
  What she meant was that I could not submit to God ,easily, b/c I despised authority ,in general,so much. I had no respect for authority b/c I had no respect for my M.
  Did you understand that , CB?
  I like that God,not any man(counselor, professional) is the authority. That is why I could not go to a traditional therapist,in part. WHO is behind the desk? My M is sitting behind the desk for some poor ,unfortunate souls(LOL)          Ami
 

[Leah]

Dear Ami,

I wholeheartedly resonate and identify with what CB has shared (and am truly thankful CB, for receiving another insight, an answer)
regarding the concept and action of  "submit to authority"

For that is exactly what I had done throughout my entire life, until the last couple of years, that is "submit to authority"
as I had been programmed to do so, by my mother, from childhood, and thereafter.

The conflict came between my mother and myself, when I stood  up to, questioned, her dysfunctional "authority" and refused to "submit" any longer.

I feared my mother, so much more than my violent father, and, I feared my exNH too, with "submission to their authority over my life"

"Perfect love does cast out all fear"  as God replaces it with His love and understanding.

Now, I refuse to submit to any control over my being, myself.


(((((((((( Ami )))))))))))))  

I am so glad that you have the right counsellor, at the right time.

Every blessing to you,

Love, Leah x


"Shalom"

[Ami]

Oh, I think I "get" what CB was saying. Many groups use God to demean woman, make you feel guilty, etc. I think I see what you mean,CB.I know that you have talked about this ,in earlier posts,how you had to be a submissive little mouse, as a female
 However,with Ann, I think  I am "safe" b/c SHE sees God as love. Her whole thrust is to get you to see your acceptance, worth and value  in God's love.
  She surprised me b/c I told her s'/thing that she could have condemned me for and she didn't. That showed me that she was operating on the law of love NOT the law of judgement.
   I don't know if I am making sense, CB.  I am making sense to myself(lol)                                Ami

[Leah]

Dear Ami,

There is no condemnation in Christ, none at all, whatever is repented of, however great or small, is remembered no more by God.

Sadly it is only us mere humans who choose, for whatever reason known only to the individual person, to rake up old stuff and fling it, actually, that is in Patricia Evan's book.

Such a peace for you, that you can feel comfortable, and free, with your counsellor, I sense.  That is a precious pearl.

Sincerely, every blessing with your healing journey, Ami.

"Shalom"

Love, Leah


PS.  I am off to Israel later on this year which I am so excited about.

[Ami]

Oh ,Leah.
 You will have a wonderful time. I got such a happiness when I read that you are going to Isreal.Have you been ,before, Leah?

[Ami]

Oh Leah, You will love it. You deserve it, Leah. Don't let anyone or anything take it away from you, Leah.                   

[Leah]

Thank you, Ami

I won't do as I have always done before, this time, I won't let anything, or anyone, take it away from me.

I am going with a servant heart, a teachable heart.

God bless you.

"Shalom"

Love, Leah

[Gabben]

The counselor was here on Monday. As the week passed, I have had more and more insights . I am so grateful to have a counselor. I have resisted any counseling,strongly. However,it IS such a relief .

This is music to my ears -- it is a sign of how much healing you have already come through that you are risking to be transparent in 3D.

Ann does not put herself in an authority role. She is helping me to find my place with God--to feel loved.

Scott is watching over you. She sounds like good counsel.

She said that when s/one kills themselves, the survival mechanism has turned off. I see how my survival mechanism has "turned off", too,in many ways.My not being able to eat was the survival mechanism shutting down.

This statement, Ami, is profound for me --- wow.

She sees the world as an interplay  between spiritual forces.

Yes -- that is truth - Satan wants us to believe that lie that he does not exist. What is hidden can have power over us.  If we see the lies then they can no longer control our thinking, we see them for what they are, just lies.


You are an inspiration for me. (((((((((AMI))))))))))

Love,
Lise

[Ami]

Thank you ,Lise. What I like about this lady is that she sees things in a way that makes sense to my heart and my gut. I have a peace about it,in a way that I never did with traditional counseling.
  I will let you know about the many wise things she says,Lise.
                  Love     Ami