TO Hermes (sorry about the duplicate subject! D.)

[Gaining Strength]

Am I in a healthy place, I am beginning to wonder?   I used to think I was safe here.

I don't think this is a "healthy" place Leah.  Just from my experience, when you gather alot of wounded people in one place ther will be alot of triggering and acting out.  But there is also alot of working through, and learning and support and encouragement.  And those parts are healthy.

I think the safe part comes from our anonymity.  No one here can find us and hurt us or stalk us at home.

I do think you are safe but I see that you might not feel safe and it is very important to feel safe in a place that you share your vulnerabilities.  

[dandylife]

Leah,
I have found the board to be tense of late. I was not around for a long while due to tensions before on the board. But I think that things tend to have a way of working themselves out, one way or another. And I believe we all have a trusted overseer in Dr. Grossman.

I just wanted to comment on your "subliminal" note.

Like body language, the things we don't say are very important in our communication. The words we choose are crucial to how our message is heard. And on a forum, all we have is our words. So they are all the more important. I don't know about you, but as I grow to know some of the posters, when I read their messages, there is a sort of aura to them. A personality, if you will. Not to the words, but to the sum of the words.

Maybe that's why we become so emotional about the things posters say here?

I've come to move back a bit and see the forest for the trees. It's a wonderful community when you're able to put a little cushion between you and it. Let the words filter through the "cushion" before taking them in. Or don't take them in at all.

Dandylife

[Hopalong]

Dandylife,
You wise, wise soul.

Thank you for what you're giving.

It's very good to hear you.

love,
Hops

[Leah]

Dear ((( Dandylife )))

Thank you, all is well.  I still have your "Conflict Resolution" articles from last year.  I took a break from the board from May to Oct'07.

I see that you have taken a break also ... from September 12, 2007  TO  February 14, 2008.    "welcome back n board"

I missed that big conflict, thankfully, having read through the board messages during Aug'07 and Sept'07.

Anyway, thank you for your explanation of 'subliminal' which was indeed most insightful.  However, I am truly sorry, because,  I now realize

that in fact it is your phrase:  Because of all the covert messages  -- NOT subliminal -- that I was referring to.

Covert messages is what I refer to.

But, in any case, I understand having read back, again, through the messages on the board.  So rest assured, all is well.

I am so thankful to have learned how to stand back, aside, from my feelings and emotions, in order to discern and decide, in life in general.

Along with knowing "Intrusiveness" which was awesome and empowering to discover.   

Love, Leah x


and Dear (((( GS ))))

Thank you for your kind consideration, and wise understanding.

Truly, very much appreciated.

Love, Leah x

[reallyME]

I don't find anything "subliminal" about me in my postings.  I am an "in yer face" type of person who has really been learning to care about how what I say, affects people.

I am a sort of perfectionist too, which gives me hours and hours of irritation if I let myself notice such things as: improper grammar, misspellings, incomplete thoughts, without taking into account the "why" of the person speaking or writing like that.  It's still hard for me to overlook and let it slide.  I was taught in Catholic school, where you "got it exactly right" or you stood in front of the class until you did.  I'm not sorry for that training and sometimes wish others would have gone through it to.

My husband's issues in this, are probably one of my biggest struggles, because he was raised totally opposite from me, so it's ok to say things like:

I seen the cat the other day.
Get my socks out of the dwore
Where is that enblope we were going to mail?
Them are the new ones I just bought.
I left the water run for a whlie.

Maybe it's only me this bugs to the inth degree, but it's been my HUGEST struggle in life to not get irked by signs of lack of education or whatever causes this.

Does anyone else have this problem and how DO you get past it?

[dandylife]

Leah,
For my purposes here "covert" and "subliminal" have basically the same meaning. Covert = hidden. Subliminal = embedded so as not to be openly perceived. I guess what I was trying to be clear on was "things not obviously stated" or "meaning attached to phrases which wasn't openly stated".

I'm not sure what you mean about "intrusiveness". Sorry, I have not been reading everything lately. If I missed something and you want me to be informed, please tell me more.

Thanks

Really Me,

It is a work in progress for me, really. Letting go of the feeling of having to control things like that. It is a quandary to decide what to devote our time and energy to. I guess the more you value your own time, the more you will leave others to their own "thing"?

Dandylife

[Leah]

Leah,
For my purposes here "covert" and "subliminal" have basically the same meaning. Covert = hidden. Subliminal = embedded so as not to be openly perceived. I guess what I was trying to be clear on was "things not obviously stated" or "meaning attached to phrases which wasn't openly stated".

I'm not sure what you mean about "intrusiveness". Sorry, I have not been reading everything lately. If I missed something and you want me to be informed, please tell me more.

Thanks

Hi Dandylife,

I don't expect you to catch up all posts from last Sept'07 - my goodness that would be an awesome task.

I was sharing my journey with you, that's all.   What I have worked through and learned along my journey.   As you have not been on board.

Just talking, you know?   That's all.   I really don't have any issue at all, as I have let it go, in standing aside from any emotion, and letting it go.

That's because of where I am in my journey, now, in Feb'08.

All of which, I am gently, quite excited about.   

And likewise, I don't have a huge amount of time to spare -- to quote Bella's " to clarify and re-clarify "  such a lot of hard work really. Futile energy

I would so much prefer to simply engage and interact, chat, talk, share, discuss, with the lovely people here present.

NOW Back to Hermes -- as I don't want to Hijack the purpose of this thread as it is addressed to Hermes.             As all IS well.

Love, Leah

[reallyME]

Leah,

I'm not real sure why you are addressing a thread to someone who is mia

[Leah]

Leah,

I'm not real sure why you are addressing a thread to someone who is mia

Laura,

Who is mia?

I have responded to Dandylife.     I have not addressed a thread to somone who is "mia" at all.

I don't understand -- help?  please.

Leah x

PS >  Laura, please feel free to PM me with the answer -- as I am somewhat bewildered.

PPS >  as you have signed off -- I shall just have to wait!  Patiently.

FINAL PS >   Lollie has posted on page 3 that "mia" means 'missing in action'   ----  This is DANDYLIFE's thread  ...... not mine!

[Leah]

MIA= missing in action

Oh, Thanks ever so much, Lollie,

I have mentioned that I am new to forum/board use  [and have not engaged in a chatrooms]

I checked on the board and there is a registered board member called "mia"

Oh well.  

My hope now is, to have satisfied Dandylife -- with my FINAL post to this thread which was not addressed to me, and I posted in

[wish I hadn't of bothered now......but I did]  ........ never asked for a patience test    

Radio silence ~ roger and out!

Love, Leah x

[reallyME]

Leah,

mia means MISSING IN ACTION.  Hermes is no longer part of Vboard from what I can tell, since he/she hasn't posted, so I was asking why you were writing to him/her.  That was what the mia was.

~Laura

[Leah]

Hi Laura,

Thanks, Lollie stepped in as you were away for awhile.

I was NOT posting to Hermes l -- I was posing to Dandylife in response.  This is Dandylife's thread to Hermes.

"Roger and out" final final posting on Dandylife's thread!   


Love, Leah ~ who is in action - not missing!   


.... hope you have a blessed Sunday!

[reallyME]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!  Ok, Leah.  Thanks for clearing that up

[Lupita]

Hi Dandi, I really enjoy your posts. They are full of wisdom. Thank you.

[Overcomer]

Hey Lup:  We have been wondering where you were??