Author Topic: N Behavior  (Read 5838 times)

Ami

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #15 on: February 17, 2008, 01:01:51 PM »
How anyone can use a mother in the early stages of grief for the purpose of working out a self-absorbed need -- is a revelation




THIS(above) is what I call no empathy, Carolyn. This is what I mean is N behavior, Carolyn.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Certain Hope

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #16 on: February 17, 2008, 01:07:16 PM »
How anyone can use a mother in the early stages of grief for the purpose of working out a self-absorbed need -- is a revelation




THIS(above) is what I call no empathy, Carolyn. This is what I mean is N behavior, Carolyn.

I understand, Ami. What would you like me to do?


Ami

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2008, 01:10:48 PM »
 . And now I feel like you get to sit way high up on your own throne of judgment because I'm expected to have all my ducks in a row, unlike you - who are allowed to be handicapped.




Carolyn,
   Since you are asking, the statement above is still trying to "bring me down",Carolyn.


No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Ami

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2008, 01:12:57 PM »
Carolyn,
 I am going to be honest. I could see how you could have issues with me,in the past. However, to try to hurt me now,is just BEYOND.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Certain Hope

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2008, 01:16:58 PM »
. And now I feel like you get to sit way high up on your own throne of judgment because I'm expected to have all my ducks in a row, unlike you - who are allowed to be handicapped.




Carolyn,
   Since you are asking, the statement above is still trying to "bring me down",Carolyn.


Ami,

My statement above was an attempt to show you how you are judging me, but as I've learned here recently, in cases like this - my own perspective is beside the point.

I apologize for coming across to you as trying to bring you down, Ami.

You are still saying that I tried to hurt you and that is not true.

What I tried to do was be honest with you so that there would be no shadow of my past judgment between us.
I confessed my past wrong and only dug my hole deeper. I am sorry. If you think that I should now wallow in shame for eternity then I think you are wrong.


Carolyn

Ami

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2008, 01:21:32 PM »
What I tried to do was be honest with you so that there would be no shadow of my past judgment between us.
I confessed my past wrong and only dug my hole deeper. I am sorry. If you think that I should now wallow in shame for eternity then I think you are wrong.



See Carolyn,
  The above statement would be classified as an N apology. Instead of leaving it at "I am sorry", you have to throw a barb at ME,as if it is MY fault that you erred.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Certain Hope

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2008, 01:25:38 PM »
What I tried to do was be honest with you so that there would be no shadow of my past judgment between us.
I confessed my past wrong and only dug my hole deeper. I am sorry. If you think that I should now wallow in shame for eternity then I think you are wrong.



See Carolyn,
  The above statement would be classified as an N apology. Instead of leaving it at "I am sorry", you have to throw a barb at ME,as if it is MY fault that you erred.

Ami, Honestly, I don't think an N would still be sitting here talking with you... but I see what you're saying.

What you are hearing as a barb thrown at you is so far from that...

maybe I am not speaking directly enough.

It is not your fault that I erred, Ami.

It is my fault that I got stuck on my own judgment of you wayyy back and did not take it in prayer to resolve it until so much time had passed.   That statement, right there, is what I was trying to confess to you in my post which started all this. That I was wrong and that I am sorry.

None of that is your fault, Ami.

Carolyn




Ami

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #22 on: February 17, 2008, 01:28:26 PM »
Carolyn,
 in the past,I have been immature,on the board. I can see how you would have  bad feelings toward me. I can see how you could have built up animosity against me. Carolyn.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Certain Hope

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #23 on: February 17, 2008, 01:37:48 PM »
Carolyn,
 in the past,I have been immature,on the board. I can see how you would have  bad feelings toward me. I can see how you could have built up animosity against me. Carolyn.

Ami, Thank you. That's very gracious of you to say.

I don't feel animosity toward you, though... it's been more like an acting out of my old learned habit of giving up on someone... a horrible habit of which I'm trying to rid myself.

I wish that you had been able to write this post initially to me, directly... addressed to me... but I don't know whether I could have done that, either... and I completely understand why you would not feel safe enough to do so.  You and I are alot different ... and yet, maybe not so different. I don't know. But we've certainly rubbed each other the wrong way enough times to make it more difficult to establish any basis of trust.

Please understand... I am not asking you to trust me. Because I know that there is a lack of connection between us, I have purposefully not posted to your threads, so that I would not cause you pain or disruption. When you included my name in your recent post about something you'd learned from Ann, my "confession" just came blurting out... not to cause harm, but to end a conflict which had been going on within me, internally. It was dumb and thoughtless and boorish.. but not cruel, Ami. Cruelty has never been my intent, not with anyone, not even with those who have caused me great distress. Not ever.

I'm thankful that you and I have been able to talk a bit here without interference. Thank you.

Carolyn


Ami

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #24 on: February 17, 2008, 01:39:37 PM »
Well, Carolyn, I am ready to let it go. I expressed myself, which I had to. You expressed yourself and we had our voices.       Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Certain Hope

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #25 on: February 17, 2008, 01:44:45 PM »
Well, Carolyn, I am ready to let it go. I expressed myself, which I had to. You expressed yourself and we had our voices.       Ami

I'll take your word for that, Ami.  I'm ready to let it go, too. Thank you very much for honoring me by discussing this with me directly

and not allowing this to turn into a free-for-all.

and thanks to all the board members who also allowed Ami and me to speak with each other, without interfering.

Sincerely,
Carolyn
« Last Edit: February 17, 2008, 01:46:37 PM by Certain Hope »

Ami

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #26 on: February 17, 2008, 01:46:33 PM »
Well, Carolyn, we both serve the "Most High", we have to have SOME manners(LOL)                       Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Certain Hope

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #27 on: February 17, 2008, 01:51:31 PM »
Well, Carolyn, we both serve the "Most High", we have to have SOME manners(LOL)                       Ami

lol... Ami, your sense of humor often catches me off guard.
That was a very sweet comment, thank you.

I'll work on my manners, by His grace.

Carolyn

P.S.  you are welcome to pm me if there ever is a need/concern/whatever

Ami

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #28 on: February 17, 2008, 01:52:51 PM »
Thank you, Carolyn. You, too.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Overcomer

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Re: N Behavior
« Reply #29 on: February 17, 2008, 01:55:52 PM »
You guys rock!!!! :lol:
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"