The Difference Between Humility and Masochism

[Gabben]

The Difference Between Humility and Masochism

To live in humility is to live always in total confidence of God’s love, protection, and guidance and therefore to have no concern for yourself when others insult you—or praise you. Secure in God’s love, you don’t have to base your identity on whether or not others acknowledge you.

In masochism, on the other hand, you invite others to insult you because, as a psychological defense against the pain of deep emotional wounds, you take unconscious pleasure in being demeaned in the secret hope that you will somehow, someday, earn someone’s admiration for your willingness to endure painful abuse.

Therefore, whereas masochism, and all false humility, burdens the soul, genuine humility brings enlightenment to the soul and frees it from all that would obstruct its service to God.

_____________________________________________________________________________


This fits in with what I have been struggling with. I need to work on acquiring more humility -- Gabben

[Ami]

You are saying, I think, that our "freedom" lies in our  submission to God. From my little bit of submission, I can see how that would be true. I hope to do more and more, as time goes on.         Love    Ami

[DailyMail]

Where do these ideas come from?  I'm curious.

[Gabben]

I can see how that would be true. I hope to do more and more, as time goes on.       

The first step is awareness, which you already have so much of and the next step is insight which you also have much of.

Ami -- you have genuine humility, really. What is necessary is for us to acquire more.

Mother Theresa says that "if we were truly humble then we would be unchanged by neither praise nor discouragement."

I think that if I am being triggered and to the degree that I am being triggered, or annoyed by someone, is the degree that I need MORE humility.

[Ami]

I think that if I am being triggered and to the degree that I am being triggered, or annoyed by someone, is the degree that I need MORE humility.
[/quote]


 That quote says it all, really(IMO).
  I think that you emerged from a great deal of pain MUCH stronger. I am very happy that you used your pain to  learn.                         Love   Ami

[nogadge]

I think I like saying living humbly, for myself.  Right now, I am finding to much self humility for inflicting on  myself and those I am responsible for with trying to sustain/maintain our relationships with my ex van.  I am likening humblenss to how greatful you folks have made me feel in finding you.  And for how wonderful life is going to become again.
nogadge

[Certain Hope]

Dear Lise,

Does this line of thinking go hand in hand with that proverb which tells us that only by pride comes contention?

Seems so... but sometimes it's difficult to see how fear is linked to pride, you know?

Another great thread, Lise... thank you.


Dear NoGadge,

I am wondering, who is your "ex van" ?

Sorry if this is a really dumb question, but I've read this a couple times and I'm not sure... 
Do you mean your ex husband?

Again, I'm so glad you're here.

Carolyn

[Gabben]

I think I like saying living humbly, for myself.  Right now, I am finding to much self humility for inflicting on  myself and those I am responsible for with trying to sustain/maintain our relationships with my ex van.  I am likening humblenss to how greatful you folks have made me feel in finding you.  And for how wonderful life is going to become again.
nogadge

Thanks for sharing this nogadge.

[Hopalong]

Hi Daily Mail...

I wish I could explain it better, but I believe it's a form of fundamentalism.

Hops

PS--I'm sorry. That sounded snotty. I broke my rule tonight and had TWO beers and am being too careless.

What I want to say is that there are Chrisitians on this board whose posts make me FEEL the deep loving wisdom I associate with the profoundly decent and kind people I knew of that faith as a child. And there are others who just talk about religious terms a lot, but it feels more like a snow machine. Sometimes, I believe one can retreat into a slew of religious references in order to avoid personal responsibility. Anyway, that's the difference as I see it. Too black and white but I need to go drink some coffee! 

[Gabben]

Hi Daily Mail...

I wish I could explain it better, but I believe it's a form of fundamentalism.

Hops

PS--I'm sorry. That sounded snotty. I broke my rule tonight and had TWO beers and am being too careless.

What I want to say is that there are Christians on this board whose posts make me FEEL the deep loving wisdom I associate with the profoundly decent and kind people I knew of that faith as a child. And there are others who just talk about religious terms a lot, but it feels more like a snow machine. Sometimes, I believe one can retreat into a slew of religious references in order to avoid personal responsibility. Anyway, that's the difference as I see it. Too black and white but I need to go drink some coffee! 

Hi Hops,

I know that you are posting the above in reference to me. It makes me sad. You are posting on my thread ignoring me and posting to a poster here to try to start something.

It is obvious to me that you hate me at this time. I understand, it is OK. I'm sorry that you are so unhappy here and that my presence is the cause of it.

If you would like I will leave? Seriously. I am not being sarcastic. You were here first. Or, I can keep trying to grow in humility and become a better Christian. I can keep apologizing for my wounds, my anger and my issues?

Whatever you need Hops to feel better.

If you need to tell me what you really think of me and how much you can't stand me then that is OK too, I can take it -- speak up and speak your voice. I'd rather you get it out than run around on the board with encoded messages.

Dearest Hops so sorry, really. Peace and hugs to you (((((((((HOPS))))))))

[Gabben]

Where do these ideas come from?  I'm curious.

Hi DailyMail,

Earlier today I sent you a link with the website to this info.

It was written by a Catholic psychologist.

I'm not comfortable posting here the web-link.

Hope it helps and that you find the info useful.

[Certain Hope]

Dear Hops,

I'm not sure what you mean by fundamentalism, but if you'd ever like to discuss it, I'm interested.

If the definition is - someone who takes the Bible literally, then that'd be me.

Just for informational purposes... in my opinion, Lise's post here accurately represents Biblical truth and does not qualify as a snow machine of religious terms, by any means.

I'm not offended by you, Hops... but if I didn't know you better, I might be. That'd be my bad... but I'm just sayin... I might be.

Love,
Carolyn

[Hopalong]

Sorry, all.
I'm mad at myself.

I drank two beers and got really tactless.

Lise, I don't hate you at all and it's incorrect for you to say you know what I'm thinking.
It really is a flag I hope you'll spot, when you say "I know ___" and claim you're able to read another's thoughts.

I don't hate ANYBODY!!!!!!! And I'm sorry I've offended. (Carolyn, thank you. Ow, but thank you. You're right.)

I love this board so much and lately I've just felt crowded out. And I miss, a lot, some people who did not talk so much about God, and self-abnegation, and all that. It really was a toxic thing in my child mind that I don't relate to, now. The love? The Golden Rule? Absolutely. (I should practice what I preach.)

I just feel overwhelmed sometimes by the sheer volume of Christian terminology. I'm sorry, but it's true. Maybe it's a little bit like being a black person in an all-white school. Every now and then you wonder, can't we just get us some fried chicken instead of all this tomato aspic?

I think often, wonder often, what it's like for Doc G, who has so lovingly made this place...and who is a secular Jew.

Or for other agnostics, or universalists, or pagans, or nonbelievers, etc.

I just find it harder here than in my daily world. Folks I consort with at work are: lapsed Catholics (1 went yogi-sih after 20 years in an ashram, 1 went secular but, like me, loves African-American church services), and undeclared, and me.

This place is so intimate for me. When the terminology comes in a flood, I feel battered by it. With other folks, I feel the spirit whispers. There's just such goodness and decency and safe harbor in their natures...or that's what I sense.

I really am sorry I've been offensive. I usually am SO intent on not doing that.

Forgive?

love,
Hops

[Gabben]

Lise, I don't hate you at all and it's incorrect for you to say you know what I'm thinking.
It really is a flag I hope you'll spot, when you say "I know ___" and claim you're able to read another's thoughts.

Dear Hops,

I know that you do not hate anyone, the behavior was hateful and it hurt -- forgiven.  I would be a hypocrite, which I already am, if I did not forgive.

Glad that you got all of that out ((((((((((((((HOPS))))))))))))

Dear Hops, I do not engage with you about my faith nor do I try to convert you or others. I just talk about my faith because I owe my life to it and I love my faith. But those are my shoes to walk in, not yours or anyone Else's.

My faith is a part of my lost voice and my healing process. I tried living and healing without Faith for too long and if you think unwell of me now you would really think unwell of me then. You would be begging me to get a Faith.


Peace,
Lise