Breaking the Spell

[Ami]

I have had the opportunity to talk to some dear friends,on the  board, on the phone. As I talked to them and faced my own life, I realized that we really have been 'hypnotized" with a spell .
We believed it, as if we were IN a fairy tale.
 I see many aspects . One was that I had to blunt joy.Now, I am awakening to my senses .Also,  I had to hate myself as a  cloak of protection from my NM
 I had to hate my very  being, so she wouldn't hurt me.
 I took all of it on, without question, and kept it.
 Now, I can examine these patterns . I am not frozen,anymore. I don't have to accept what  she threw at me( and still is)
 As I come out of the bondage , I can see that she is still "underwater". She had to push me under so she could step on my back to get "air". I let  her b/c I thought I needed her love,in order to thrive(live)
She could not help her patterns, as I could not help mine.
My healing will come with the simple key of looking at myself ,without blinders(good AND bad) and seeing the world,without blinders. When I can do that, I will be emotionally healthy. Then, I can look at my life, with wisdom and discernment, and make choices.                         Ami

[Leah]

Dear Ami,

Baffles and amazes me that your NM is a trained practicing professional Therapist of 20 years, and as such, I am wondering, what exactly are her professional qualifications?  What type of Therapist exactly?

Genuinely asking, as it is somewhat bewildering that she is working with people in therapy of some kind.

Love, Leah

[Ami]

Dear Leah,
 You would be shocked to see how many therapists are more troubled than the patients. That is why I can't trust a therapist. Ann is a minister.
 My M is a licensed clinical social worker. You don't have to be emotionally well to go to school, pass the tests, and open an office. There are NO tests for emotional "fitness".
 She works with people who really need s/one good(suicidal people, victims of abuse etc) and they have a "booby" prize and don't know it.IMO, they would get worse, not better.
 She tells me some of the things she says to people and I want to "shrink" b/c she is such an "idiot".Even the patients get mad at her, but they still stay,b/c people blame themselves, NOT the therapist,usually.
 I have a masters degree, too, but I was wise enough to know that I had no business counseling people ,when *I* needed help.I started working for a psychologist who had a holistic health practice and continued in that field,which I loved.
  I always felt like a fraud ,when I considered "counseling", b/c I did not have enough to offer, and knew it, at least.
                              Love to you, Leah    Ami
 

[debkor]

Hey Ami,

I agree with you on therapist.  They are not all good and some are more troubled then patients.  I have worked among many and sometimes I would scratch my head thinking What in the World are they THINKING!.  On the other hand there are some of the most wonderfull you would ever meet.  I do believe in therapy but do not believe in all therapist just because they are one. 

All in all the therapist I met were very good with exception of the ones (hand full) that I did not believe should be giving anyone advice.

Don't give up totally on it Ami but I do understand how you feel.

One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch.

Love
Deb

[Gabben]

My healing will come with the simple key of looking at myself ,without blinders(good AND bad) and seeing the world,without blinders. When I can do that, I will be emotionally healthy. Then, I can look at my life, with wisdom and discernment, and make choices.                         Ami

Ami -- the above is SO true and insightful.

When we see ourselves clearly we can then see ourselves and the world the way God see's us and the world. Also, the more we look or face the dark parts of ourselves we see that the greatest or worst thing to fear was simply fear itself. Fear begins to loose it's power over us immediately, when we stand in the light of truth.

Life abhors a vacuum; we can empty ourselves of self by seeing or facing ourselves and owning our flaws and fears but if we are not filling ourselves up with service or concern for others (unselfish actions) we will return to old behaviors (fears) and attitudes.

Peace and hugs -- I miss you.

Gabben

[Ami]

Oh Lise,
 I was thinking about your excerpts from the AA book. 'WE can recover IF we can face ourselves with fearless honesty(paraphrase).
 A still small voice has been whispering that to me ,for a few weeks,now.
                     Thanks for all your love!                    Ami

[towrite]

Ami, I find it morally and ethically reprehensible that your mother - as a therapist - does not get supervision. The good therapists do - it's the way they keep from "infecting their patients" with their own craziness. I wrote a whole book about bad therapists and it is so frustrating to me the things that go on under the name "therapy."

Kate

[Gabben]

Hi Kate,

Can you give me the name of that book?

My last therapist, N saint, is still in my head and it hurts. My new T and my new spiritual director had advised me to file a complaint against her, which I did.

Gabben

[Gabben]

Ami --

I wanted to share these quotes with you because I know you will appreciate them:

Real love is a permanently self-enlarging experience. M. Scott Peck

You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time. M. Scott Peck

Everything that happens in life is there to aid our spiritual growth. M. Scott Peck

Mental health increases as we pursue reality at all cost. M. Scott Peck
 

[Ami]

Man, Lise. Those are GREAT! They are life changing. Thanks so much,Lise.            Love  Ami