I have had the opportunity to talk to some dear friends,on the board, on the phone. As I talked to them and faced my own life, I realized that we really have been 'hypnotized" with a spell .
We believed it, as if we were IN a fairy tale.
I see many aspects . One was that I had to blunt joy.Now, I am awakening to my senses .Also, I had to hate myself as a cloak of protection from my NM
I had to hate my very being, so she wouldn't hurt me.
I took all of it on, without question, and kept it.
Now, I can examine these patterns . I am not frozen,anymore. I don't have to accept what she threw at me( and still is)
As I come out of the bondage , I can see that she is still "underwater". She had to push me under so she could step on my back to get "air". I let her b/c I thought I needed her love,in order to thrive(live)
She could not help her patterns, as I could not help mine.
My healing will come with the simple key of looking at myself ,without blinders(good AND bad) and seeing the world,without blinders. When I can do that, I will be emotionally healthy. Then, I can look at my life, with wisdom and discernment, and make choices. Ami