Coming out of "shock"

[Ami]

It has been  6 weeks since my son died. I am just starting to feel the pain. I was in shock ,and now I feel a wall of pain ,as if a tidal wave is permanently attached to me.
 I never felt this level of pain ,before. Maybe, you never do ,in a lifetime, unless s/thing this horrible happens.
 I am just calling friends and asking,"Is this normal?" b/c it scares me so much to feel these sensations.
 They say,"Of course it is."
  I see how people could die form a broken heart or die after a loved one does(as spouses s/times do).
  My friend, Olga, said she had been worried about me b/c I did not seem as if I had been feeling the pain ,before.I really was not b/c I was numb.
 GS says that you feel as if you have been run over by a truck and I do, exactly. I feel like I have been in a wrestling ring .
 GS says that it will take a year to feel "normal"i.e. functional ,again..
 I feel like my son is literally sitting on my chest(heart) like a literal weight.My heart feels as if it,literally is breaking,not just figuratively.
 I know that other people DID get through it and go on. I am not the first.
 Just wanted to share and I do feel  a little better.                   Thanks for listening ,   Ami

[towrite]

I hear you, Ami. That heaviness could be unexpressed grief - huh? The kind you want to take to the top of a mountain and let out in the loudest possible screams and sobs.

(((((((Ami)))))))

[Ami]

Thanks towrite
  I just reached out to give to  s/one else and I feel better.As GS said , I will feel as if I have been run over by a truck for awhile .Thanks for your kind post,towrite.
                                   Love to you, towrite   Ami

[seasons]

Dear ((Ami)),

Yes, I remember the pain. It is hard to express into words how gut wrenching it is. I also believe the first year seems unbearable.
You can get through it with tons of love and support.

I am so sorry ((Ami)). I care and think of you daily with love and a hopeful heart for you, each minute of your day.

Always in my heart dear friend, seasons

[debkor]

Ami,


I want to express how saddened I am to hear this news.  I have not been on for a bit and I am so sorry for your loss.  My thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours.


((((Ami))))

Love
Deb

[Ami]

Thank you Deb, so much.         Love   Ami

[Gabben]

Keep sharing your heart with us ((((((((((((AMI)))))))))))

[Overcomer]

Am-I am so sad for you.  If this happened to me I would lie in bed for a year and eat Weight Watches One Point Giant Fudge Bars non stop!  My heart cries with you every day and all day!

[ann3]

Ami,

I see how people could die form a broken heart or die after a loved one does(as spouses s/times do).

Yes, this is normal.  Grief can be very painful, so whatever you are feeling is normal.  I'm not advocating pill popping, but Xanax may help you feel a bit better, might ease some of the pain.  Also, not a bad idea to go for a physical because grief leaves its imprint on the body.  Have you considered attending a support group for people who have experienced a loss like yours?  It's very healing to be among people who know what you're going thru.

Love to you.

[Ami]

Thank you,Kelly,Lise and Ann. Your supportive words help so much. This phase of grief feels like I have been run over by a truck. People say that time heals  the acute pain ,so I guess time is the answer.
 This is my "medicine--one Guinness Extra Stout beer, every night.As long as I only have one, I should be OK,I hope(lol)
  Thanks again, for caring and sharing your hearts with me.               Love  Ami

((((((((Kelly,Lise, Ann)))))))

[Certain Hope]

(((((((((((Ami))))))))))) However long it takes, and in whatever phases it appears, I am certain that your grief will not swallow you up... you will survive and thrive.

Love,
Carolyn

[Ami]

Thank you, Carolyn, for your very  kind words. They mean alot to me.            Love    Ami

[Lupita]

Ami, I cannot imagine how much pain you have, it must be unbareble. Hope that you have somebody there with you. You must not be alone. You need somebody with you.
Think of Scott being an angel, with Jesus, in heaven, looking after you. He wants you to feel better.
I will pray for you.
God will help you.

[Leah]

... joy and sorrow are inseparable. . . together they come and when one sits alone with you . . . remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 

~ Kahlil Gibran


Dear (((((((( Ami ))))))))

The sorrow in dear Scott having to leave you for a season, sits with you, alongside the joy of knowing he his home with the Lord.

You are in my prayers, and heartfelt thoughts.  The joy of the Lord is your strength, and courage, your comfort.

Love, Leah

[Ami]

You guys are SO wonderful, so comforting!
Thank you Lupita,Leah, Carolyn,Ann, Kelly, Lise,Deb, Seasons, and  towrite.