sexual abuse

[James]

It hurts to post this topic, I feel like i'm the only person who has ever had this happen. I can't remember reading other posts here that address this and it's makes me even more anxious when i try and write about it. I didn't have a lot of memories of chilhood until this year. now i know why. Has anyone here had to deal with this issue? the shame that I'm feeling crushes me. It runs across my mind if i post this i might just leave here and not come back. Thanks James

[hardtotrust]

James, unfortunately this is a very common situation. Many people have to deal with this issue, you are not alone. Please stay, there will be more people here listening to you soon.

[finding peace]

Dear James,

Yes – I have had to deal with this.  My F molested me.  I understand how hard it is to talk about.

Sometimes I feel such darkness inside – as though I can’t ever let anyone know what was done to me.  The shame can be crippling.

I was given such wonderful support on this board when I first started to talk about it.  It has helped immensely.

I still have issues around this that I need to deal with, but it is easier now.

I am very sorry you had this as a child.  It was not your fault, never your fault  – the shame is theirs, not ours.

Peace

[James]

hardtotrust.....this was hard to do but i'm still here. i've dealt with my therapist on this for awhile now. shes encouraging me to share my story with others. its maybe the hardest thing i've ever had to do. thanks  James

[gratitude28]

James,
Whatever happened to you was not because of you. It was because a sick, bad person did not respect the youth and innocence of a child.
If I were to meet you today and you told me of your abuse, I would only want to congratulate you for being strong and good and rising above it. Life is what it is. You cannot change what happened. But you can hold your head high, get therapy if you need it, and be the great person you are. You are not what happened to you. You are you.
I would add that I believe my husband was abused, mildly or otherwise, and has surpressed much of this. He is a great man and a great dad and even if he regained full emmory of an incident, it would never change my thoughts about him.
Lots of love,
Beth

[James]

findingpeace/gratitude........thank you for your words they do help. sorry i would like to write more but right i'm a little overwhelmed. i hope you understand   James

[Ami]

Don't go away, Sweetie.
 You are NOT alone. You are NOT bad.We know that here. No one here thinks any less of you,but MORE of you that you have the strength to admit the horror that was done TO you.
 You were innocent of everything.We know that here. You don't have to hide, here,James. I promise.    Love   Ami

(((((((((James)))))))))))))

[hardtotrust]

James, PhoenixRising, I admire your strength in dealing with such painful issues.


(((((((((((((James, PhoenixRising))))))))))))))

[Certain Hope]

Dear James,

I'm so sorry that you were treated as an object by another human being. No one had the right to use you in that way.
There was sexual molestation within my own family, perpetrated by my ex-husband... and so I've experienced the devastation of such abuse from that perspective. Please know that you are not responsible for any of it... not a bit. There is no dirtiness or shame in having been the target... and these past events have no right to claim your future... or your present! I hope that you'll be able to continue sharing as you feel able and comfortable... and that you'll receive all of the support and encouragement we here can offer.

Carolyn

[James]

Ami and to all who have resonded... i appreciate it so much and wish that i could answer each reply. Right now i'm so flooded with memories that I can hardly think. I don't know which is worse keeping all this in for so many years or letting it out......James

[darren]

I didn't experience it as a child, but as a teen and a grown up I went through two periods of sexual harassment that sent me for a spin that I don't care to talk about.  Its a shame people give us so much to deal with and mess with people in such ways.  Whatever happened, its not your responsibility.   

[Ami]

((((((((((James))))))))))))))))))))))))))            Ami

[Certain Hope]

Amber is giving such good and wise counsel, James... please take it easy.  I know it feels at first like all of this stuff gains power as you let it out, but that's an illusion... it really begins to lose its hold on you as you share. All in good time, you will feel yourself getting lighter and freer of the burden. It'll be okay.

Carolyn

[Ami]

Just wondering how you were doing,now,James? Just thinking of you.                Hugs,   Ami

[James]

hi Ami.........I took a nap for awhile to calm down and i feel a little better and just got back on a few min ago. I wasn't prepared for what happened. I guess i found out the real reason why my story has been so hard to write. My worry over that was covering up something else. I always have the option to call my therapist shes taken a no of calls when things get rough and doesn't mind. Night or day. I also have paxil handy but i hate using drugs unless absolutely necessary. I'm ok just a little drained   appreciate you asking   James