Has the spirit entered in to your mind, and in to your will, and yes even in to your body? Think hard before you answer and consider what that spirit truly is. It is an idea, and it is lodged somewhere in your mind. You have kind of programmed it there somehow. Anyways, this spirit is the one who has been saying to you:
Do not succeed and abandon me, we rely on you.
Fullfill my emotional needs before you fullfill your own.
Yield to me the praise I deserve and suffocate your ego.
Do not voice opinions contrary to mine because I cannot handle dissent.
And so on, and so on, and so on...
This spirit is just the ideas that you have let possess you, because you have taken them to be truths. But once you realize that truths are entirely subjective, you can then fight that demon of yours and just let it go. Just suck it out of your very existence. All these negative associations, all these doubts, all these despairing moments, we did them very simply for our ideas.
Well not exactly. That is only looking at the problem from one angle. It is the intellectual level. But honestly, it is your will that drives you, your very nature, your desire to survive.
With all these psychological abuses we have encountered they have registered in our brains, but only in proportion to how they affected our emotions. A very painful emotion registers much more strongly. We have been convinced that our very existence depends on those irrational beliefs because we fear that negative emotion.
So we walk around like zombies, possessed individuals that we are, and look for ways to satisfy others.
Well, if our primary need is to survive, then we should realize that it is better to survive with what serves me rather than some antiquated ideas that no longer serve me. To fight these emotions, that stronger emotion, the strongest of them all, is the will.
So, instead of deceiving yourself that these absurd notions planted in your head were your will, you need the courage to instead say, sorry, I now decide what is important to me, and I will always have my concerns first and foremost, as well as being respectful and courteous to the wishes of others, just so long as they do not impinge on my life, my will.
So you take back possession of your will and very soon you start to see yourself again, you experience your existence, and you start to feel alive. That deamon is still lingering, but slowly it is fading and becoming quieter and more distant.
And then you see that you have now taken full responsibility for your own life and will no longer let others steal it from you. Your only defence is that you remember yourself first.
And, when you come in to contact with people who you can live with, then you do it and both share in a more happy, "successful", interesting, fulfilling, finite life.
Fight the pain with a love of yourself first and foremost. Recognize very simply that you alone are the object that brings you happiness. Stop losing sight of yourself and bring yourself forward.
And now it begins,
Steve
