Author Topic: confidence pill?  (Read 9601 times)

flower

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #30 on: August 30, 2004, 11:42:56 PM »
Hi Dawning,

Quote
My intuition is the biggest asset I have and talking with him was liking talking to my mother -that feeling of *my way or the highway.* He seemed overly-persuasive (ie, using my honest appraisal of myself as a way to push these drugs...I mean, are they really that great?) Maybe he gets a kick-back from someone? He certainly was pushy.


For my 2 cents I'd like to say that you should trust your intuition. There are plenty of therapists out there.

------------------------------------------------------

Thanks so much for your insight and support.
 It aided my healing. Too much of my heart
was in this post to let it remain here for posterity on the web.
The post served its purpose and now it is time to
edit it or gently take it down.
 
To every thing there is a season, and a time
to every purpose under the heaven:  Ecclesiates 3:1

------------------------------------------------------------



 IMO you need respect at this point. I'm not saying this is always the case, but a woman doc might be more sensitive and understanding. You are the consumer; the doctor is on trial. This is your life.

flower, saying that you deserve the best, Dawning!

Anonymous

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #31 on: August 31, 2004, 05:16:37 PM »
Quote from: Dawning
I had my third meeting with new psychotherapist last night.  He asked me which of three routes I wanted to go but I didn't feel like he could accept my answers or questions.  We spent the entire session talking about the merits of prozac.  First, he was running late and I had to wait in the hallway outside his building.  That annoyed me since he exclaimed to me over the phone before we met that I absolutely *must* be on time and make the meetings at the exact minute of the agreed-upon appt.  So, why doesn't he hold himself to this exactness, I wondered.


He sounds like an idiot.



Quote
I told him I felt it would be important to get a second opinion and he gave me the names of other physicians that I could get a second opinion from.  Is that normal?  I thought when someone gets a 2nd opinion they get it from the *outside.*


It's okay for him to give you names. You don't have to see any of these people, though.


Bottom line: HE SUCKS. Dump him and get someone else. I hope you have other options besides this loser. Don't see him again. No more appointments. He isn't right for you (or, I suspect, for anyone!).

bunny

Dawning

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 344
confidence pill?
« Reply #32 on: September 02, 2004, 03:44:28 AM »
Thanks flower.  I appreciate your sharing and thank you for your kind words and your opinions.

Thanks bunny.  I am going to look into other options at this point.  

I really, really appreciate the feedback.
"No one's life is worth more than any other...no sister is less than any brother...."

Portia

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #33 on: September 03, 2004, 01:23:38 PM »
Hiya Dawning  :D

Quote
he exclaimed to me over the phone before we met that I absolutely *must* be on time and make the meetings at the exact minute of the agreed-upon appt. So, why doesn't he hold himself to this exactness, I wondered.
Whoah! Control freak who expects others to keep to his rules but he’s allowed to do what he likes? I’m running!  :arrow:

Go girl, you deserve much much much much better! Like someone who can at least behave like a human being and who knows how to relate to another one. Hugs D, P

Dawning

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 344
confidence pill?
« Reply #34 on: September 10, 2004, 11:23:12 PM »
Hi P.  :)  Thanks for your voice too.

Blech.  This therapist has been calling my landline and mobile and emailing.  He did so last Sunday at 11am!!!  On a Sunday.  :?:  Is that normal?  I didn't pick up or respond.  Last night...a Friday evening around 11pm, he called my landline.  I don't have caller ID so I picked up.  I heard his voice on the other end...sounding suave and patronizing.  Just who does he think he is anyway?  Or am I just non-trusting?

I am not ready to do what he says right now and I will contact him in the future when and if that is the course I feel comfortable with.  But he scares me.  Its like he won't accept my answer(s.)  And this reminds me SO much of my mother.  I don't think he is good for me because I feel he is getting me to self-doubt myself way too early in the client/therapist relationship.  When I told him that he has to earn my trust he went into a speech that most people who come to see him jump at the chance to take anti-deps because they know they want to get better and so he questions my resistance and thinks that I don't want to get better because I won't dutifully follow his prescriptions.    I don't think it is fair or compassionate of him to say that.   I wish he would give me a little space...or is he calling me out of legitimate concern?  Its hard to tell.
"No one's life is worth more than any other...no sister is less than any brother...."

Anonymous

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #35 on: September 11, 2004, 01:35:06 AM »
Hi Dawning,

You have suffered too many losses in too short of time.  First, your family, and now your friend.  You are grieving and need time to work through your issues.  It doesn't sound to me like you really want to go on Prozac.  I've never been on meds,  so I really can't help with your decision.  

Did you ever see the movie What about Bob?  I love the philosophy of baby steps.  Just one little step at a time.  With each little success, you become a little more confident.  You build on that.  I really don't think there is a pill that will give you that.  Plus, you'd miss out on the joy of knowing that your progress was real.  That it was you, not the meds.  Only YOU can give you what you need.  Pray and always listen to that voice inside.  It will guide you.  I'll be praying for you.     Dinny

bunny

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 713
confidence pill?
« Reply #36 on: September 11, 2004, 10:12:30 AM »
Quote from: Dawning
This therapist has been calling my landline and mobile and emailing.  He did so last Sunday at 11am!!!  On a Sunday.  :?:  Is that normal?  I didn't pick up or respond.  Last night...a Friday evening around 11pm, he called my landline.  I don't have caller ID so I picked up.  I heard his voice on the other end...sounding suave and patronizing.  Just who does he think he is anyway?  Or am I just non-trusting?


Dawning: HE SHOULD NOT BE CALLING YOU. This is harassment!!!! Does he work independently or at a clinic? If he's at a clinic, complain about him! There is something deeply wrong with this guy. Therapists do not call clients unless it's a return phone call or if the person seems suicidal. What he is doing is way out of line.  What I would do is leave a message on his voice mail telling him that you do NOT want to receive any phone calls from him and if he continues calling you will consider it harassment. And do consider it that, and take steps as if anyone were harassing you. (I think it will stop immediately, though.) He doesn't get special privileges because he has "M.D." after his name. What a wierdo!


bunny

Anonymous

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #37 on: September 11, 2004, 11:33:58 AM »
Hi Dawning,

Ooogah, ooogah!   :!:  :!:  :!:

This guy sounds like a perp not a therapist.  Egads!  Run Run Run!

There are wolves among us in trusted positions like doctor, priest, teacher.  He is one of them.  There is nothing wrong with your intuition and everything right with Bunny's advice.  What he is doing is totally absurd and harmful.  Thank God you have enough strength to resist this incredible loser.  Protect yourself.

Hope you are OK and can put an effective end to this terrible treatment.  Hugs, Seeker

BlueTopaz

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 113
confidence pill?
« Reply #38 on: September 11, 2004, 12:47:54 PM »
Dawning,

I agree with others in the thread.  I think you are so wise to back off now,  and consider never returning.  If you are (very rightly in my opinion) that uncomfortable with him, it just doesn’t seem like a fit.   When I read your experiences with him and your intuitions about them, my own intuition just naturally fell in line with yours.  

Apart from all of the unanimous feelings at the board here, remember that you also have your friend’s (who actually met him) intuition of his creepiness, without her having any bias at all, as she didn’t know this was who you’d be seeing.  

Intuition aside, practically, it looks just as bad.  I can’t speak in absolute terms to all of the modalities of therapy out there that might get utilized, strange as they may be, but I do know that calling at home is normally reserved for very extreme, emotionally unstable clients.   Even at that, it is usually the client that is given the therapist’s number if they should feel they are in crises.   There is just something not right about him calling you as he is.  Though a bit bizarre, if it somehow were really part of the way a clinic does things, then in my mind, the proper thing to do would have been to have you both suggest times where you would talk, just like appointment times at the office, and not just call out of the blue whenever he fancies.   It just doesn't add up.  Beyond creepy, he seems like an unwell person.    I agree with bunny that he is actually enaging in harrassing behavior.  

That he should never push meds on you is a given, and truly, his suggesting that you don’t wish to get better because you are simply questioning the route of taking a medication first off, is just plain irresponsible, unethical, and potentially harmful behavior as a therapist- period.   It is a blatant abuse of his "power", or position, and in my mind, he shouldn't be seeing people.    

There are great therapists who literally help save people’s lives, but sadly, there are also too many that should not be in the profession.  It is so sad and tragic because the bad ones are dealing with people who have had so much hardship in their lives already.  They bring them down deeper into an abyss of inner turmoil.  

 You deserve nothing less than someone you feel comfortable and safe with, and importantly, someone you trust enough to feel you can make significant progress in their counsel.    This guy sounds very far from that.

I'm really sorry you had to experience that weirdness.  One good thing is that you now know some signs, and that you will be able to trust your own feelings when something doesn't feel right, and be able pick someone that does feel right.

I hope you are okay as well (such an experience can have an emotional impact), and I hope so much for you, that the next therapist that you try will be one of the gems.    

Take good care...

BT

flower

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #39 on: September 11, 2004, 08:22:47 PM »
Dawning,

I just want to add my voice to the others who expressed so well their alarm at that therapist.  He sounds chillingly creepy to me too.

((((Dawning))))

Dawning

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 344
confidence pill?
« Reply #40 on: September 14, 2004, 07:43:33 AM »
Thanks to all of you who replied with your support.  You really helped to validate my thoughts about what seemed to me to be strange behaviour on his part.  He called again on Saturday but I did not respond.

Quote
Does he work independently or at a clinic?


Bunny, he works independently out of what appears to be his home/office.  He has a colleague as well who I have never met.

Quote
There is just something not right about him calling you as he is.


BT, I couldn't agree more.  Especially, the fact that he was calling me on Sunday mornings and late on Friday nights.  That seemed pretty creepy.
and also, you wrote:

Quote
That he should never push meds on you is a given, and truly, his suggesting that you don’t wish to get better because you are simply questioning the route of taking a medication first off, is just plain irresponsible, unethical, and potentially harmful behavior as a therapist- period. It is a blatant abuse of his "power", or position, and in my mind, he shouldn't be seeing people.


Thank you so much for this.  Because, you know, a person who has confidence issues like I do....hearing something like that from him triggered all my fears that I am messed up more than anyone else and if I don't do it his way, I will get even sicker.  This is SO much like my parent's programming of me when I was little.  However, I also *felt* as an intuition that his approach was disrespectful.  So maybe I am getting somewhere positive and this strange series of communications was a stepping stone.  It was so wonderful to read your thoughts that put into words so well what I was feeling about his approach.

Quote
There is nothing wrong with your intuition and everything right with Bunny's advice. What he is doing is totally absurd and harmful. Thank God you have enough strength to resist this incredible loser. Protect yourself.


Thanks, Seeker.  Another friend of mine is going to him as well and taking prozac.  She likes the effects of the meds and said that once you get the prescription from him, you don't really need to see him anymore.  However, I would not like to take these meds especially if I started having weird side effects.  Who would I turn to for immediate support?  Him? I don't think so.  Now that I don't trust him or his responses to me (after repeated attempts to explain my fears to him) there is really no way that I can have anything to do with this guy.  I'm seeking another way.  I'm trusting myself on this.  What a shame...that there are losers like this out there in this kind of profession.  Scary stuff.

Thanks again, Flower for adding your voice to the chorus.  

Thanks, Dinny, for the caring reminder about taking baby steps and for your prayers.

(((A Big Hug))) to you all!
"No one's life is worth more than any other...no sister is less than any brother...."

Portia

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #41 on: September 14, 2004, 08:52:12 AM »
Hiya Dawning
Quote
(after repeated attempts to explain my fears to him)
Does therapy - choosing the T - have to be such a hard slog? If I did it, I'd want to have a mutual 'click' with the T in order to trust them. I wouldn't want to have to explain or justify my feelings about anything to do with my relationship with them. If we didn't 'click', I don't think I'd bother. I've nothing to prove to a T. They would have more to prove to me - like qualifications, experience etc etc.

Quote
there is really no way that I can have anything to do with this guy.
 :D  :D  :D I'm happy for you D! love, P

Anonymous

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #42 on: September 14, 2004, 11:57:56 AM »
Quote from: Dawning
Another friend of mine is going to him as well and taking prozac.  She likes the effects of the meds and said that once you get the prescription from him, you don't really need to see him anymore.


What is this -  Prozac blackmail? Take the prozac and he will leave you alone? BTW I don't think he would leave you alone. He may have a crush on you, which is totally creepy. I would complain about him to his licensing board.

bunny

BlueTopaz

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 113
confidence pill?
« Reply #43 on: September 14, 2004, 04:11:04 PM »
Hi Dawning...

Yeeeesh.... He's calling you late at night on a Friday, from his home...    
Now, thinking of him working out of a home office, and doing those behaviors....  It's even worse...   :shock:    

Quote
Because, you know, a person who has confidence issues like I do....hearing something like that from him triggered all my fears that I am messed up more than anyone else and if I don't do it his way, I will get even sicker. This is SO much like my parent's programming of me when I was little. However, I also *felt* as an intuition that his approach was disrespectful. So maybe I am getting somewhere positive


Yes, I understand so well.  I still might question myself at first, just like you, because my own inner scripts might begin playing.  They are so powerful.   The bad apples in this profession know that they are dealing with emotionally vulnerable people, and seek to use this to their advantage.  :(

I think you definitely are getting somewhere positive.  Even if you were feeling the effects of your long held fears, you were still wise enough to question, and pay attention to your intuition.  And it is so great that you brought the whole thing up to the group here, for perspective, too…

It is sooooooooo not you whatsoever, here.  I am just like you in the medication sense.  I had a very bad anx. disorder at one time, and still struggle with some things, but I haven’t taken meds.  Nothing at all wrong with taking them when needed of course, it just has been a very personal choice up to this point.   If in your situation I would have questioned, just like you did, and would have walked if I were pressured in that way.    It has nothing to do with wanting to get better or not, and this was a terrible, and false thing to say.   A verycoercive thing.   :evil:    

If you could see a pyschologist, you might have better results regarding trying other therapies, and not meds.  Pyschologists don't prescribe meds.(only pyschiatrists do) so their first line treatment modalities are other by nature of their profession.

Only thing is that pyschologist visits are often not covered by medical plans, and pyschiatrists are, so sometimes it is not an individual choice.  But I don't know if it is so in your neck of the woods.  It is where I live

Best Dawning….

stamac

  • Guest
confidence pill?
« Reply #44 on: October 17, 2004, 05:34:23 PM »
Hi there,
I wanted to chime in and agree with the general tone of everyone's responses.  I would also like to share my med experience, which I hope will be somewhat helpful.

I'll try to turn a lifetime struggle somehow into a short story.  About  4 years ago I was having difficulty dealing with life in general.  I started to notice that my familiarity with depression was taking on new symptoms.  I constantly felt overwhelmed with every day things.  I was constantly concerned with what others thought of me.  From total strangers to close friends, I was always paranoid.  I started to notice I was turning into a recluse.  I basically just felt engulfed in my current situation and couldn't seem to talk myself down.  (I had always been able to in the past).  I also noticed a bit of OCD was developing which started to worry me enough, that the therapist was called ASAP!

My depression was trigged then, as it has been today by my Psycho N mother.  I knew proir to stepping in the T's office, that I needed a bit of help (pill) to take the edge off.  She suggested Prozac.  I was on it for a handful of months and noticed right aware that I went from totally uptight to a "mush ball".  I became lazy and nothing seemed to bother me one way or the orther.  Keep in mind I was on the lowest dose made.  So..I requested to get off of it, and was switched to Zoloft.  I stayed with it for over a year, and felt great.  It just took to intensity level down a notch.  My fuse grew a bit, I guess.  I didn't get "twisted" as easily, and still felt totally in control of myself.  I took a long break, but presently back on it.  I feel like it lifts the "fog" and helps me think and see things with better judgement and clarity.  Medication is something I had and still am not a "promoter" of.  However, when things got completely out of control, it certainly helped a great deal to get through those times.  

I hope this was somewhat helpful.  If you would like any other info on my experience with meds, I'd be glad to share.    Be well.