I was trying to" own "myself through getting the outside "right".
I guess this is common.
I tried to get a sense of self from trying to get my M to love and accept me, then my H, then others.
It was "dancing' outside to heal the inside.
I don't think it is possible. I don't think it CAN work, as evidenced by famous people who have it "all" and it is not enough. If you COULD get peace, self love ,self acceptance and inner satisfaction from the outside, celebrities would be happy, not tortured. So, that fact should dispel the notion that the outside can bring inner peace and self acceptance.
You can see some celebrities who have inner peace before they got famous and seem to hang on to it like Paul McCartney(it seems).John Lennon got more tortured ,as his fame grew.
I need to stop looking to the outside for self definition,when self definition has to be FROM the self.
Does anyone relate to this? Ami
