Author Topic: so blue I'm purple  (Read 19909 times)

Hopalong

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so blue I'm purple
« on: April 06, 2008, 04:43:19 PM »
I feel a deep deep fatigue.
In the last few days I've received a summons (attached to the front door when I came home), found out my brother was taking me to court to try to become my mother's guardian and (more likely the point) conservator of all her assets (and he has some traction because I made mistakes in her accounts--no theft or fraud, but errors). So my old terror of losing the house is back.
To top it off, after I emailed him to please not return to the house, he emailed back that he WAS going to be staying here (last night). I felt terrified, invisible, like a bug on the sidewalk. You can threaten my security, slander me to the neighbors and campaign against me, and I'm supposed to say, Do come in, your room is ready?So there was a panicky call to the locksmith...the locks are changed...a visit to the attorney (this will cost thousands I don't have)...and a very panicky drive from my workplace back home in the middle of the day to be sure the plumber had left the place locked up, since my brother was on his way.
I followed the attorney's instructions and left him a voicemail and emailed again, to tell him I did not want him to stay here, basically that it was unfair for him to expect me to welcome him to stay with me when he's threatening me legally. My nerves have been shot and I haven't been sleeping.

Today I hauled myself out of bed and met Mom's church reps at her room, and they gave her a communion service. I brushed her hair and stayed with her a while.

My father is churning in his grave.

My brother is a pathological liar and an evil, malignant narcissist, and he wants to destroy me. I believe he's gone back to Chicago. I wrote him that if he'd make arrangements for a mediation hearing, I'd be glad to attend.

Now I have to photocopy all of my mother's financial records for the last five years to provide to his attorney. I'll get that done tomorrow...I see my attorney again Tuesday morning, and he wants $2500. I don't have it. Oy.

Bad bad week.

thanks for listening,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

gratitude28

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #1 on: April 06, 2008, 05:00:05 PM »
Oh Hops
I wish I could somehow make things better. I am so sorry. This sounds like one of those times that force you to gnash your teeth and suck it up until the clouds clear.
You definitely have a lot of shit on your plate.
(((((((((((((((((((((((Hops)))))))))))))))))))))))
Love, Beth
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams

towrite

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #2 on: April 06, 2008, 05:00:57 PM »
(((((((Hops)))))))


Don't know what to say 'cept I've been there and dragging yourself thru the slime is unbearable. Please be sure to do something for yourself and your spirit.

towrite
"An unexamined life is a wasted life."
                                  Socrates
Time wounds all heels.

flowerpower

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #3 on: April 06, 2008, 05:23:54 PM »
I am so sorry, Hops.  :(

I have to say you are very strong to be able to do what you need to do despite your deep feelings of fatigue and anxiety. I admire you. I hope your attorney can help you get past all this and that you won't have to deal with your brother at some happy point in the future.

*hugs*

Ami

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #4 on: April 06, 2008, 06:53:00 PM »
(((((((((((((((((((Hops))))))))))))))))))))
 I am sorry you are hurting so very much.               Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

debkor

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #5 on: April 06, 2008, 07:54:16 PM »
Hops,

The one thing that I know is he won't destroy you.  That is just not possible.  Don't fear him.
Remember Hops the other side of fear is freedom.  Do not be afraid of things you do not know. You do not know what is going to happen.  You need to stay confident and free of his N BS and take him on.  So what you made mistakes, so do I, so does he.  The court could tell him to pound salt. He could lose his money on some BS case he is bringing against you. He is not that powerfull if you don't let him be.  It's a power game now.  You have power too.   Do not fear the out come.  You need to sleep and wake up with your dukes up and ready to go.  Shock the hell out of him Hops.

You need pep talks girl.

Love
Deb

teartracks

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #6 on: April 06, 2008, 09:16:03 PM »



Dear Hops,

Now is a good time to hang out here and get encouragement from those of us who have experienced the  anxiety or your present circumstances.  No one who has not been there can't imagine how horrible it is to be where you are.  And this on top of the weariness you already had.  I'm so sorry.  Glad you changed the locks.
Keep your dukes up as debkor says.

Sincerely,

tt 

Overcomer

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #7 on: April 06, 2008, 10:51:33 PM »
Hops-keep calm.  Get your ducks in a row.  ask your mom what her wishes are.  Let the lawyer do his job and never let them see you sweat.  Here for you!
Kelly

"The Best Way Out is Through........and try laughing at yourself"

Gaining Strength

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #8 on: April 06, 2008, 11:55:43 PM »
Do not be afraid of things you do not know. You do not know what is going to happen.

I think this is brilliant.  Just the thought of what you have to face is enough to completely wear you down.  Don't think about it.

You have your regular stuff that you have to do and now you have some more.  Just see it as stuff you are doing for your mother.  Keep your mind off your brother.  Do whatever you can not to engage in the emotions he is provoking.

(I couldn't do it but I am trying.  This is a "do what I say, not what I do" sort of post.)  My heart is with you.  I want you to find and wear your, "I can and will survive this" attitude and never look back.  I know it is a coin toss about how things will turn out but I've begun to believe that our attitude can have a quantum effect.  Look for the win!!!

Thoughts and prayers with you and your win - Love to you - GS

towrite

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #9 on: April 07, 2008, 10:15:53 AM »
Hops, I thought about your situation most of the night. There is no logical way any judge will give your brother custody. He's not responsible, is he? He's not been there in the past, has he? His record of trustworthiness is bad, isn't it?

And all of you and your actions have been the opposite of his. Mathematical mistakes will not be held against you. He will be asked for a plan of action for the future - doubt he'll be able to come up with a suitable one, plus his past will speak against him in sticking to it.

As tired as you are, it's hard, I know, not to be afraid. You have so many positive things in your favor. I hope you can focus on those and trust yourself.

towrite
"An unexamined life is a wasted life."
                                  Socrates
Time wounds all heels.

Hopalong

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #10 on: April 07, 2008, 12:21:24 PM »
Thank you everyone, so very very much.
I need to tell you each individually how much your posts mean to me.

But I can't just now, I am just overwhelmed.

For now please know you have stiffened my spine and strengthened my heart (especially you Deb...those were fightin' words I needed!).

All of you, your messages are so deeply appreciated.

much grateful love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

towrite

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #11 on: April 07, 2008, 06:44:09 PM »
Please give us progress reports.

This is our rallying cry:  "Keep your dukes up!"  (aka Debkor)

towrite
"An unexamined life is a wasted life."
                                  Socrates
Time wounds all heels.

lighter

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #12 on: April 07, 2008, 09:42:10 PM »
So sorry this turmoil continues, Hops.

Your mother chose you and that's who's in charge.

He can't assume control bc of a banking error or two.  Sorry.

He can huff and puff and tell you he'll blow your house down though. 

Try to be mindful of the reality behind his threats.

You've been covering your bases..... the facts are the facts. 

Remember that. 

Healing&Hopeful

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #13 on: April 08, 2008, 03:31:14 PM »
Oh Hoppy Darling.... That blooming brother of yours is such an arse.  Amazing how someone so loving as yourself and him can be related (but I guess that's the same for a lot of us!)

I so wish there is something I could do.  Hopefully my big hugs will find you and let you know you are not alone.

I'm so sorry as it's been an absolute age since I've been on here... how are things on the job front now?  And I hope you are still able to go to church...

Love H&H


PS: I had a baby boy (19th Sept, yep, I said it had been an age, there's just no excuse for it!), who we called Jacob.
Here's a little hug for u
To make you smilie while ur feeling blue
To make u happy if you're sad
To let u know, life ain't so bad
Now I've given a hug to u
Somehow, I feel better too!
Hugs r better when u share
So pass one on & show u care

gratitude28

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #14 on: April 09, 2008, 07:34:28 AM »
Hops,
How are you doing? I know you are overwhelmed, but I wanted you to know I am thinking of you.
I hope you are finding some peace in the middle of all this mess.
Lots of love,
Beth
"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable." Douglas Adams