so blue I'm purple

[Hopalong]

Sela, Ami, Seasons, Iphi, H&H, Carolyn
THANK YOU.

I do feel drenched in caring and not at all defeated.
The first week or so, and the days just before the lawyer/brother meeting were the hardest.

But I've reached a turning point, no small thanks to your good hearts and strong voices. And folks like my minister/s and some close church friends. It's also been an amazing change to have a man in my life who makes it plain that he cares about me. He offered to install a whole house fan for me the other day and I choked up. (So many years of feeling "there's no helper" in my life...I felt overwhelmed.)

I really am okay and I know I WILL BE OKAY, no matter how it all turns out.

I won't fantasize too much yet about a new place to live, as the resolution could go either way. But if that's the way things need to be, I will turn it into a positive as fast as I can.

In the meantime, I really am living in the present, more.

I am so enraptured with spring. The cool drizzly air, or the sunny days. My little garden's going berserk. I was thinking last night when I got out of the car and looked at the bean plants that have somersaulted out of the soil like little gymnasts in the last 2 days...it's like being greeted by dozens of pets! Like the garden is wagging its tail!

With a daffy brain like this, I can't stay blue for long.

Thanks, sweet friends.

Much love to all of you and hope I didn't miss anybody,
Hops

[Izzy_*now*]

Hops, it is so heart warming to read your post and know that you have bounced back from the initial shock.  it would have sent anyone reeling.

So hang on to your happy feelings and I love your little pet bean sprouts. That makes me think of the Jolly Green Giant's little buddy.
he would make a nice pet and I don't think he would need a litter box.

Love and Joy
Izzy

[lighter]

Garden wagging it's tail........

nice.

[Gaining Strength]

So many years of feeling "there's no helper" in my life

This hit me hard this evening at the ball park when my son had another "poop" accident (he's 7) and I had two dogs who wanted exercise and I was at the end of a long wasted day and I had so much that needed to get done and ....

[Leah]

Delighted to hear about your little sprouting friends greeting you each day ((( Hops )))

The only way really is up!

We dust ourselves down, stand up and are counted - because we have value in life.

Love, Leah

[Ami]

((((((((((SS, Hops))))))))))

[Hopalong]

SS,

PM me if you need info on encopresis.
I know of an online program that works for kids.

love,
Hops

[Changes]

Oh Hoppy-

Sorry that you have been through this since I have been away from the Board- but I just knew that you would find a worthy admirer soon, remember? I am glad that you have that sweetness and the feeling that you are loved and do not have to do it all yourself, with no one watching your back...

I hope all goes well.

Love,

Changes

[Hopalong]

Very dear Changes,
And I am so eager for an update on you.

I am still with you, and pet/s, and ... changes in your life.

No idea what's happened since then.
Hope you can find a way to fill us in.

love to you,
Hops

[Changes]

My Darling Hoppy-

You have made me cry. I was really foolish, starving myself trying to hold on for my justice to come!!!! I am handling things better now , and am happy that 1L is completed. I have a "job" of sorts, as my new attorney is having me write, gather docs, and serve subpoenas, etc in order to save on costs- so no break for me!! But hope springs eternal, I kep thinking that maybe next week things will straighten out, and I can go to the beach!!!

It makes me so happy that you have a darling man in your life who cares about you and appreciates your depth, your generous wisdom and beauty. How is your daughter doing with her graduate work -she's probably tired this time of the year!!!! No matter that we have our respective vicious legal issues- life is good Dear- especially with wonderful friends to share it with!

Love You,

Changing

[Hopalong]

Is it okay to start another thread just for you, Changing?

I won't unless it is. If it's not, you stay right here, dear.

Plenty of room.

xo
Hops

[Hopalong]

General update on my shade o' the week.

Not blue, really, but a little gray. A little scared, as the court date is Tuesday.
Hopefully, the lawyers emailing back and forth...my brother will settle somehow.

As it stands now, my mother's new will stands, so I do not inherit the house free and clear,
so at pushing 60 I'll be starting a mortgage. Don't mind so much, except on my salary there's no way I can manage it all.

Next plan is to find housemates. We have an interim minister coming, who may rent my spare room and study (share the kitchen). If that fails, a friend of mine had a wild idea. Since it's a sizable house in a good location, why not rent the whole place to a visiting professor for several years, and live very simply with a friend? Rent a room myself?

Then all the rent could attack the mortgage and in several years, I'd own it free and clear.

Radical notion, but I like it. Well, don't LIKE it, but I'd do it if I had to.

Hmmm. Either way...can't claim it. Can't buy paint and go nuts decorating. Not yet.

Arrggh.

But I'll be okay.

I have noticed myself boycotting my mother...my visits are dwindling to 2 a week this week, rather than every other night. Just don't feel much like it.

xo
Hops

[Changes]

My Dear Hoppy-

As always, I bow to your wisdom and please do whatever is best regarding threads, etc. - if I am doing anything improperly it is not by design, so I have no problem being shown a better way.

You deserve that house Hoppy, and there are so many ways to figure things out. I am excited for you, and I hope that I get to keep my home as well, such a it is. I know that you have built up a large account in the "Love Bank" in your community, working and helping others for so long.You will be given that most precious of commodities from your friends: information, and help too if you ask for it.

Keep strong Hoppy-

Love,

Changing

[Hopalong]

thanks, Changing.

It just hurts to feel I'd have to live like a vagabond after 10 years' devotion to her wellbeing.

When she changed it just for brownie points with my brother. So hard to stomach.

Not hard to believe, once the shock wore off, but definitely hard to take.

I YEARN for my own garden, a LR wall to paint.

I guess I could sell it (all the work of that on me, natch) and then buy a bungalow.
I know a lot of people think I should.

But I'm invested there, emotionally and bonded with land, etc.

Good memories of father...

xo
hops

[Ami]

Dear Hops,
 Do you think your M knew what position this would put you in? Did she comprehend it, do you think?       Ami