Almost Guilted

[Overcomer]

So I went to the interview and was old enough to be the owner and the manager of the place!  Then earlier today I told my mom about my black cloud and my PMDD.  She said something about my mood disorder.  I said it is not a mood disorder it is a hormone imbalance.  I feel that if I remove myself from her I will feel much better.

[Ami]

The NM always wants the D(us) to be THE problem. I am, just ,really seeing this with my M. *I* always have to be one down. She manipulates me not to trust myself, have confidence or independent thought.
  It really wreaks havoc with your self concept(lol).         Love    Ami

[Overcomer]

Also this instability she sees in me gives her an excuse to not back off.  She has dumped ALL the work on me but still will not leave.  I do not even have a desk.  My mom has an office with all everything!  My space is constantly being taken over since I have a computer.   I really think my anger puts me over the top.  I think if I did not work with my mom and aunt my life would be so much more happy.  I told the people at the restaurant that I could start part time and see if we are a good fit.

[Ami]

I think the NM is ALWAYS undermining us.                 

[Overcomer]

In a way I think she loves labeling me.  That makes me even MORE angry!  I am trapped!  No one wants me!  I am too old.  If they do want me they want me for 55 Hours per week.  My hours are perfect at my job but my psyche is damaged and my hormones are raging.

[Ami]

Kelly
 WAIT till your hormones stop ,before you make major decisions ,IMO.     Love    Ami

((((((Kelly))))))))

[Overcomer]

Great advice but what do you think about this.  I work somewhere else.  I start PMSing but there is no mom making ludacris business decisions.  Do I go off the deep end or is it a bump in the road?

[Ami]

Dear Kelly,
 In your case, as I have observed it,on the board, your thinking becomes "not right" when you have PMS. It is worse when you have the NM to deal with,but would be bad ,any place, I think.
 You have to recognize the process and just go with it, a few days out of the month,IMO.
  Your pattern is obvious ,on the board.
 It is hard for us to see ourselves,but I can see that you almost go through a "temporary insanity" for a few days ,in the month.
 Compost what does not fit, Kelly. I am sorry you have so many hormonal issues. I wish we could trade issues for a few months. You could lose weight and I could eat(lol)       Love   Ami


((((((((Kelly))))))

[Overcomer]

So right!  The cloud is starting to lift.  I am out of my mind for a week.

[ann3]

OC,

I bet you go"out of your mind" for that week because all the other pressures gang up on you.  So, if you remove the pressure of working w/ your NM, will that alleviate it?  But what if a new pressure takes the place of the working with NM pressure?  Maybe look into stress management?

love,
ann

[Overcomer]

That is the question.  Someone once told me where ever you go there YOU are.  But I seen to think I would function better without the N in my life.  I told her today that I think she has npd-That is the first time I said it to her face.

[Overcomer]

She thinks I have bipolar Disorder and I think it is pmdd-Either way the symptoms are similar.  My mom went to a counselor and he suggested I was borderline.  This is the same counselor who I emailed and told him my mom was npd.  He did not hear me.  I told my mom I did not respect him because he believed her and did not hear me.  I will never go back to a person who believes what one person says before he hears both sides.  I guess we all want to feel validated-but for him to listen to her!