may be getting thrown out

[towrite]

My friend who I am living with told me this morning she wants me to go to a shelter. I am so frightened right now, my hands are shaking badly, don't know if I can relate the details.

She accused me of "holding out on [her]" (having more money than I let her know about), of being secretly funded by another friend of mine, and demanded that I give her money to pay her bills. She doesn't acknowledge that she has frittered away hundreds of dollars just in the past 2 weeks on unnecessary things she "wanted". She obviously feels an entitlement to whatever she wants. She admitted she has been going thru my room and found some money and it pissed her off. I explained that was money I was saving to get my Rx's filled. She retaliated with, "Well you should give it to me 'cuz I can't get my Rx's filled either." Then she said I should give her my first paycheck - I have a small part-time job - when I get it on May 5 so she would have some money. I told her it would only be about $40, and said, "Oh, it will be more than that." I have a stack of bills I can't pay, and she said she didn't want her credit rating to go down by being late with her bills. My credit is already in the toilet, and she screamed, "And you're doing nothing about it!"

She knew when I moved in that I could not help her with bills til I get a real job. She now denies that and said she expected me to help.

I have hidden the $ for my Rx's now - but she has apparently decided she's entitled to whatever I have that she wants. I do not eat her food, I turn off lights all the time that she leaves on, I take 5 min. showers, and she takes what she wants of mine without even asking. I am scared she will start going thru my wallet, so will start keeping it in my room.

I know she's scared - she spent all her money from her last paycheck (she collects state and federal disability as well as a paycheck) on food, hair products and two large, unnecessary things that she was determined to have. Now she's short of money - even demanded gas money from me - when I gave her all I had, she retorted that that amount would not even get her to work all week. Then she began moaning about taking the bus to work.

This is not the friend I knew. I finally told her, "This isn't like you."  She did - at the end - admit her therapist was the one who told her to send me to a shelter.

I am so scared.

[Ami]

Dear Kate
 Would your family really let you go to a shelter?                  Ami

[towrite]

Yes, my NM would. And she would use it as a way I embarrassed her.

[Ami]

Dear Kate
  I have been praying for you. I feel that when it comes right down to it, your M will help you,but it may have to come close to the line. I am so sorry. Your situation sounds horrible, Kate. I will pray for you from right now, until I hear news that you are safe. Love   Ami

((((((((Kate))))))))

[Gaining Strength]

Kate this is so unbearable to read.  I would so like to open my home to you.  I hate reading what is happening to you.

I'm sorry that her therapist would tell her that, but it does seem that she is a dangerous person to be around.  I simply will pray for a miracle to happen, for someone you know, in better circumstances will open their home to you and someone will provide you with a good job and a livable salary.

I am praying for you today.

[Leah]

Dear ((((((( Kate )))))))

I am deeply saddened to know of your predicament and, on top of it all, the current behavior of your "friend"

Why would the therapist suggest sending you to a shelter?  I discern, your friend in current 'blameshifting' mode of some kind, from you sharing her behavior, having spent out on unnecessary items, at this point in time.

Unfortunately, I am not familiar with how the "system" of things works, where you live.

Having been in a place of refuge for a short time, I truly have empathy with your feelings, and thoughts, at this time.

I pray for an angel of mercy to come alongside you in this your hour of need.

Are there any alternative options of any kind, preferable to the one your friend's therapist suggests, dear (((((( Kate )))))))

I know how it feels deep inside, to feel alone in the world, but please know, that you are not really alone, not at all.

If I lived near to you, sincerely, the door to my home and, a bedroom of total privacy, and solace, would be yours.

I am going to pray for you, that someone will open their home to you, right now, and also, that you are drawn to the right place to be, in wholesome employment.

Love, Leah

[Izzy_*now*]

Yikes, towrite,

This is a terrible set of circumstances. She is not trustworthy, going through your room and demanding money.

I question how she can collect state and federal disability, and work as well for a pay cheque???? In Canada this cannot happen. One collects Federal OR Provincial Disability, and only provincial allows one to work, but wages are deducted from disability payment.

Is she acting within, or outside of, the law?

How long has this been going on, the living together? Her sense of entitlement is scary!

Best of Luck finding a new abode
Izzy

[Iphi]

Dear towrite, I am so sorry this is happening.  What your friend is doing is a betrayal and an exploitation.  This is abusive.  It's wrong and there is no excuse.  It's shocking that she can be so shameless about it so soon after you moved in.

I know you fear going to a shelter, but I encourage you to identify, call and talk to people at shelters.  Sometimes what is our worst fear is actually -- a turning point and not so fearful after all. 

I used to know people who worked at shelters and learned they are useful places.  You are allowed to live there for free while working and accumulating enough $ to get back on your feet.  Their rules were simple enough - no drink or drugs.

Being among wolves like you are now, that is more fearful indeed. 

I hope and encourage you to act on your own behalf and your own well-being and not to please, appease or placate people who don't have your best interests at heart - in fact they are dead against your best interests.

With friends like this, you truly don't need enemies.

[Ami]

Thinking and praying for you, Kate.     Love    Ami

[towrite]

I checked out the shelters and I could only stay there a lts time. I have 2 dogs and a cat - have no idea what would happen to them. Our shelters in this state do not allow people to stay til they accumulate enuf money to get back on their feet. They group the addicts, insane, etc. all into one shelter. It's not a progressive state.

Yes, I have lost all trust in this friend. Yes, in our state she is allowed to collect federal and state disability and still work for a ltd. amount of income. Yes, I feel betrayed that she went thru my room - no matter what she was looking for. I am home from work now and she is acting like nothing happened. I assume she is afraid to bring it up. But I do think - once I get in my own place - that she has lost my friendship.

[Hopalong]

Arms around you, ToWrite.
Amazons lined up.

Strength coming to you,
courage.
Dignity.

NO SHAME.

Please contact an animal rescue organization and ask if anyone can home your animals temporarily.

Then concentrate on your own safety and finding work.

I am so deeply sorry you're going through this terrible time.
(((((((((((((((((((((ToWrite))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hops

[ann3]

Towrite,

I am so sorry to hear this.  Although your friend was wrong, maybe you can iron things out and make up?  Maybe you two can come up with a budget?

Love,
Ann

[Ami]

Dear Kate
 I am thinking about you, today. When I read Ann's post, I thought of the same thing. Maybe, your situation with her is not hopeless. I hope not.
 I am thinking and praying for you, Kate.     Love    Ami


(((((((Kate)))))))

[lighter]

::sending you strength and courage to meet your challenges...... to overcome::

So sorry you're having all these difficulties right now, ((towrite))

Lighter

[Iphi]

((((towrite))))  I just want to say, no matter what, you are a valuable, precious, rare and excellent person and I can see it clearly and everyone here can see it.  Love to you.