Thank you,Kim and Kelly.
I see God's hand in my life moving forward. I would 'like' to say that I was "strong" and used my strength to grow BUT I look back and see how God intervened when I really was on the way down.
God sent me people to help pull me up when I could not do it and did not want to.
Maria was telling me how she felt a pull to help me. She really raised me from the "dead' emotionally. She calls me "Lazarus"(lol)
Then, my wonderful friend loved me like Don Quioxte in 'Man of the Mancha"
He saw beauty, not shame , failure and ugliness.
He got me through Scott's death. My world was all wobbly and I had one sense of solidity and it was he.
It was purely supernatural. I did nothing to earn it or deserve it. It was God's love for his child(me).
I found God b/c of an NM. I lost Scott,but Scott had God, too, so he just arrived ,early(to Heaven)
I would not take back one ounce of the pain ,if I could lose God. I would not trade my life for s/one with a good M or H or kids who were alive.
I, as a Jewish person, did not have the God of the New Testament in my traditions. I had to be broken to find Him and I was,but it was worth it all. Love Ami
