Dreams about the Narcissist

[flower]

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Thanks so much for your insight and support.
 It aided my healing. Too much of my heart
was in this post to let it remain here for posterity on the web.
The post served its purpose and now it is time to
edit it or gently take it down.
 
To every thing there is a season, and a time
to every purpose under the heaven:  Ecclesiates 3:1

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If you have had any insightful dreams about narcissists and would like to share them I would love to listen.

------------------------------------------------------

Thanks so much for your insight and support.
 It aided my healing. Too much of my heart
was in this post to let it remain here for posterity on the web.
The post served its purpose and now it is time to
edit it or gently take it down.
 
To every thing there is a season, and a time
to every purpose under the heaven:  Ecclesiates 3:1

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[Anonymous]

The location of the dream was my parents' property. It was on a hill in a wooded area. There was a junk pile in that area. It actually was an exact location that  existed, complete with the junk pile.  The pile was full of old ruined rotten boards, broken furniture, rusted metal objects etc.  It was raining. Among the rain soaked junk was a coffin. It was a beautiful expensive wooden coffin with a lovely finish. The rain was ruining the finish. I was dead and in the coffin. I began to be very sad in the dream because I knew that the rain was wrecking the finish. I couldn't understand why my parents didn't bury the coffin and take care of. It would be ruined. I then crawled out of the coffin and sadly began to wipe the water off  the beautiful wooden finish with a cloth, wondering why my parents cared so little about what was happening. The dream ended..

I don't think this dream requires any interpretation. And the imagery is fantastic, I love it.  Thanks for sharing it. I hope you take it to your therapist as a gift.

I had some dreams about my mom but they weren't beautiful like yours. In one of them, I was kicking my mother viciously and killing her. In another, she was cooking pasta and she casually put a giant tarantula in the pasta!

bunny

[Anonymous]

Hi Flower,

I have been keeping a dream journal for a few years now, so I'll take a swing at it.  

I read your dream as a marker of both an end and a new beginning.  Many of the symbols can be read on two levels.  Rain, tears but also that which brings new growth.  The coffin is both a cage and a protection against your former life.  You die, but then you come to life again.  You are in the junkyard, yet have a beautiful piece of art which you want to care for.  

It really is a beautiful dream.  

Bunny, I like yours too!  I've had some spider dreams and couldn't figure them out.  In my research, a few interpretations hold that spiders are symbols of feminine power (both good and bad aspects) and how appropriate to be placed in a "web" of food, when a web is meant to catch food!  

And of course there's the famous line, "What a tangled web we weave, when first we (something) to deceive..." somethin' like that   .

Other times I don't interpret, I just enjoy the "movies" that come on at night!  But when having the Major N falling out in my family, my dreams featured me generally screaming at a different family member on different nights    Guess I had a lot to say... others featured these "strong, silent" type actors like Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson showing up.  I think that might have been my inner strength making a cameo appearance before screaming on the telephone at my dad again!  

Well, post away!  I like this    Seeker

[Anonymous]

Hello again Flower,

I am trying to remember the dreams I had when I was struggling a bit harder with all of this.  I don't have access to all the stuff I wrote down (on another computer) but one image I remember which kind of sums up my family position is this: An ant walking amidst the towering blades of grass with a tiny camoflaged army helmet on its tiny little head.  Talk about wanting to be invisible!  

I didn't have the overt rejection you experienced.  It was way more covert and subtle.  But a definite reality.  Everything revolved around my dad although he disguised it pretty well.  He gets his way or else.  My coping device was and still is to become invisible.  I am supposed to do well but not be proud of it  .  I become extremely anxious when people make angry "jealousy noises".  

Another dream was of the two major Ns in my life smoking in a hotel room.  I told them in the dream they had to follow the same rules as everyone else and told them to go outside if they wanted to smoke.  For me, the smoking represented a filthy inconsiderate habit that was damaging to both the smokers and the people around them.   (apologies if this offends smokers, but it's a metaphor...)

I do relate to your junkyard dream very much.  One man's trash is another man's treasure.  Any other cool images?  As Clint would say "go ahead, make my day!"    Seeker

[Anonymous]

I was in a house that they were thinking of giving me. I already had a house.

Houses in dreams often represent the psyche/unconscious mind. You already have your own psyche but she wants to give you hers.

The bait house was kind of broken down and needed fixing.

Metaphor for an unrepaired, sick maternal psyche and maternal bond.

Anyway, I was in one of her bait and switch houses and my mom was giving me a huge pile of Valentine gifts to soften me up to come back into her web. There were red and pink heart shaped little candies with writing on them. Also lots of cards. There were gifts wrapped in colorful plastic wrapping. I felt bribed.

Your unconscious says that love from your mother is false and manipulative. Huge pile of gifts may also be a metaphor for a pile of poop. Gifts are often symbolic of poop, which can mean a lot of things. This begins in childhood where we get interested in poop and, at that time, ascribe meanings to it.

I think the dreams about the house are longings for a healthy bond between you and your mother. Unfortunately she has done a bait-and-switch deal which poisons the longing and it becomes a brokendown pile of crap. She keeps offering this bond (house) and taking it away. I suppose that's what her internal world is like and she feels constantly cheated. This is irrational and crazy.

bunny

[phoenix]

bye

[phoenix]

bye

[Moonflower]

......

[phoenix]

bye

[Anonymous]

Hi Phoenix,

Interesting!  

First, the Chinese restaurant setting and take out food might mean (if a dream) that you are seeking nourishment in a new and foreign and unknown place.  You are taking it out into the bigger world but have trouble with the transition!  (I find that Chinese anything in my dreams means cryptical and unknown.  might mean something else for you)

Maybe you need to pause and plan your route because what appears to be easy and clear is going to hurt you!  Consider what is "behind the curtain" (remember Let's Make a Deal and Carroll Merrill? ha ha).  

They guys in the restaurant might be helpful guides warning you to slow down and consider your path.  Sometimes windows and doors represent perspectives and/or birthing experiences (that is, entering a new phase of life).  Doesn't have to hurt   !

I think this episode would've gotten my attention too!  Take care, Seeker

[seeker]

Hiya everyone,

Flower, I think keys are straightforward symbols of gaining access to what was previously locked away, or conversely locking away something for various reasons (fear, safety, etc.).  Keys can mean answers that open doors.  

I recently had a bizarre and fascinating dream about a hidden unseen force moving my hand firmly to a doorknob.  I was holding a key and the door led to a library.  A friendly priest told me someone was waiting for me.  There was a man (do any of you know the actor Rip Torn? that's what he looked like) dressed nicely and he looks up from a book he is holding and smiles at me.  He wants to ask me some questions, like he is looking for information.  I am filled with dread and the knowledge that he is the devil!  Awyeeaw!

I think I was meeting up with my shadow and can't face it.  

Yes, Phoenix, pretty cool this symbols in real life thing. There's a book (yeah, yeah, there I go again) called Practical Intuition that encourages this kind of thinking.  I think it's pretty neat although I won't discuss it at the next ######## party I go to.    Hey, wait a minute, I don't go to ######## parties.  

Anyway, I am very much working on the ol' inner life thing and am becoming very non-denominational, non-theological in my thinking.  I prayed for guidance, etc. to see if this was "on the right track" or whatever.  I went to church and promptly stepped in some green gum!  Not just a little, a lot!  and it was green.  So I took this to mean that I should stick with it,   .  (I always take green to mean growth or "go ahead" unless it obviously means envy in context. )  Of course, it could also mean I was stuck.  Hmmm.

What do you guys say?  Seeker

[Anonymous]

I've found myself many times while coming home getting my keys ready to open the door of the house/apartment/duplex/mobile home etc. (whatever place I was residing at) and when I go to put the key into the door, it is the key to my car!

[snip]

Well, the interesting thing that happened the other day is that when I went to open the car door, I picked out the house key to open up the car. This is a first. I told my daughter I must like it at home now. Things are resolved in my mind about my relationship with my baity switchy parents.

Interesting. Cars in dreams are often about being in control (or not) of one's destiny. The moving car symbolizes driving our own life along. Keys and keyholes can be about male/female relations, female energy in general, keys to new possibilities (etc.). Lots of food for pondering here.  

bunny

[Discounted Girl]

I think dreams are powerful. I always remember these from when I was little -- I just copied this from a post I made about 10 months ago.

Ah, yes the dreams. I had lots of dreams about people chasing and persecuting me -- the man in the black coat and black hat who would almost get me and I would fly up into a tree and he would wait on the corner under a streetlight. I still have that dream. From about age 7-9 I had the same dream over & over about my mother watching me, looking down from a 2nd story window while I was in the front yard raking leaves with my dad. We never had a 2nd story house, so I don't know what that was all about, but in the dream I would look up and she was glaring at me with pure hatred in her eyes. I told my dad about the dreams, and you know what he told me? "You have those dreams because of your hostile relationship with your mother -- you should try harder to get along with her." Can you believe that? Yep, he sure said it. Why didn't he tell her to stop it?

[Moonflower]

.....

[Discounted Girl]

The other parent appears to be a pansy of sorts I guess, or a partial N themself. I can remember when I guess I was about 10. She spent the entire evening shouting at him and threatening this and that, which we had heard hundreds of times. But that night she said to him "I would not sleep too deep tonight if I were you." Well, I lay in my bed terrified that she was going to kill my Dad so I got up in the middle of the night and quietly I removed all the knives from the kitchen drawers and hid them under my bed. I even debated with myself about the butter knives, should I hide them also? I also got in my little jewelry box and took out this big star pin I had cause it had sharp points on it. I tell you NOBODY, ESPECIALLY A LITTLE KID should EVER EVER EVER EVER have to go through that.