Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > Voicelessness and Emotional Survival Message Board
Emotional Divorce
genuine:
Dear leaf,
I am where you are at right now. Maybe if you happen to be on messenger we could support each other? That goes for anybody else as well.
msn - mc_rubycharlie@hotmail.com
yahoo - malia26au
aol - genuinefreebies
All the Best
genuine
genuine:
Dear Moonflower,
I understand what your saying. I find it amazing when Nparents use their health to manipulate you even further. My mum had a breast cancer scare recently and she was using my sister-in-law to ring me up so I would go running to her...I know full well that she is a hypochondriac and its normal for someone to get retested, it doesn't mean they have cancer. Its precautionary and to be honest even if she had it I don't think I would have gone to see her anyway.
Thanks for your support :)
God Bless
genuine
genuine:
--- Quote from: ch ---My question is how do you handle the disapproving looks and people's negative reaction when you tell them that you are not in contact with your parents? its so hard to get past this part without explaining the whole tragic life story of many generations of N. What to do???
--- End quote ---
Dear ch
First of all Congratulations :) I wish I had done it sooner too. In handling people's reactions, I am sensitive with those who are biased. For example there is no point trying to explain your situation to a person who was raised in a totally happy positive environment. They won't understand. Thats been my experience anyway. I personally don't discuss it now..except with a select few who have been there..such as you guys.
genuine
flower:
Hi genuine,
I wish that your mom and your partner's mom would leave you alone!!!!!
------------------------------------------------------
Thanks so much for your insight and support.
It aided my healing. Too much of my heart
was in this post to let it remain here for posterity on the web.
The post served its purpose and now it is time to
edit it or gently take it down.
To every thing there is a season, and a time
to every purpose under the heaven: Ecclesiates 3:1
------------------------------------------------------------
bunny:
--- Quote from: genuine ---My partner's father is in hosptial after undergoing an operation for
bowel cancer. Now, my partner and I of course would like for him to
get better but made a pact not to see our Toxic Parents ever again.
This decision is purely for our mental wellbeing, it had to be made.
When his father got sick I told my man I would support him either
way, whether he wanted to go see him or not. He chose not to and I
have to respect that.
--- End quote ---
That is lovely that you support him no matter what his decision is. Very respectful. Sounds like you have a nice relationship. I think if parents were severely abusive, they have lost the privileges that non-abusive people receive in old age and sickness. End of story. So if they receive any kindness from their adult children, they're extremely fortunate and don't deserve it. I know they don't understand this concept but they don't have to. They don't understand that abuse might beget resentment and ambivalence. They think that abuse begets more compliance. But it may not. So they must live with the consequences of their actions. There's no law saying they have to agree to it.
genuine, what your mother did reminds me of a war criminal. She should be tried at Nuremburg. Since that option isn't available, I hope there is some way to console yourself for your great loss. I once read, years ago, in a somewhat "pagan" newsletter (and I'm not Pagan) that unborn babies have "baby-being" spirits who decide whether to be born this particular time or not. Sometimes they change their mind about being born and there is an abortion or miscarriage. Yes, I know the idea is ludicrous but I found some comfort in it, although I've never even been pregnant. I thought some baby-beings might be hovering around me, making a decision...anyway, perhaps your baby is still waiting to be born or was born somewhere else nice.
bunny
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