Decided yesterday to take a few of my roses to my NM for the day. Didn't do it expecting to get anything, but to not give her any ammunition against me and b/c I partly felt sorry for her. It was OK for the first 15-20 mins. (I've realized that's my limit with her.) She was glad to see me, no recriminations or cries of "Where've you been?" Then the topic of my brother came up - the one who isn't speaking to me. I asked her if she'd had any conversation with him about why he isn't speaking to me. She said 'no', and I began to lose it. I told her I thought she'd tell him he was going overboard, that I'd done nothing to him, and for him to grow up. I told her I considered this immature behavior as well as overkill - just for sending him a job announcement. I recalled just one of the many (large) things I'd done for him - and her reply was, "You've both done a lot for each other." When I asked her what he'd done for me, she said, "Well, he loves you a lot." Altho I said nothing to her, my thoughts were along the line of "love is invisible unless it results in action." Her last comment was, "Well, he's just feeling his oats now that he's in his 50's" !!!&$@%!! I truly was losing it then, so I got up and left. She kept that plastic smile on her face as tho' nothing was wrong and she was inordinately pleased with him.
I was reading "Trapped in the Mirror" last week, and there was a selection which said that some children of NP's are treated badly b/c they were, in essence, rejected at birth. I think that's my case.
At least I didn't come away from this visit feeling like a victim - I knew it was her and not me. But my blood was boiling.
