Welcome, Diana1. I do know that emptiness. For years I thought it was b/c I was "mentally ill", had some disorder, like borderline personality, which was the source of the hole in me. Then I met a very gifted therapist who showed me the "hole" was full of pain and as long I held the pain in the hole would remain. I had blocked out so much of the pain, refusing to see it, acknowledge it, etc. I knew it was there, but I thought it was a permanent part of me, like my appendix, which could only be surgically removed. She, however, knew better, and taught me how to let the pain out, to look at it, and give it back to those who had inflicted it. Only once I purged all that pain could I feel "whole" instead of "the hole." I felt real peace for the first time.
I am going thru some rough stuff in my life right now and am convinced I would have imploded had it not been for purging that pain. In the midst of all the fear, etc. right now, I can still call up that peace at times when I need it. It also made what other people wanted of me irrelevant. Make any sense?
