Lupita, I am so glad you got that response from the stress group. Please, call the leader.
Strangely enough, I've heard of people bartering for counseling...sometimes they say Yes!
Maybe you could ask him to have one initial session with you, and when you're there, tell him you can offer piano lessons or salsa dance lessons, if he will counsel you or accept you into the group.
I know several people who have made arrangements like that when they needed counseling and support but had no insurance and no money to spare.
You have to be determined about this, dear, because you are worth it.
If one doesn't work out, another will.
So this is your homework and I know you can do it!
Oddly, I found some comfort in this:
I thought I was losing my son to an N family. Something I have fought so hard and sacrificed so much to stay away. And my son who knows wthat is it, who is not ignoprant of it is falling in the trap.
It occurs to me that almost everyone here, is here because they had a relationship with an N. I can think of no case where someone avoided a relationship with an N simply because someone else told them what Ns were. So maybe this relationship is your son's effort to find out for himself what an N is. Maybe he actually has to do this for himself, Lupita, in order to make the big mistake we all had to make, in order to set different boundaries for ourselves.
Of course you would like to spare him the pain and sacrifice. But maybe you can't. Think ahead to when your son is a wise, talented, bruised-by-life but soulful, kind, WISE man of 40 or 50. Perhaps he'll be in a happy second marriage. Perhaps he'll be bringing your adorable grandchild by for a visit. Perhaps then, one day, he'll say, Mom, I now know that you were right, she wasn't the right person for me. But I had to make my own mistakes, and it's okay, Mom. That's the way life works.
love,
Hops
