Author Topic: so blue I'm purple  (Read 18403 times)

Changes

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #105 on: May 30, 2008, 05:16:48 PM »
Oh Dear-

I am so much in synch with you at this point- this is the crux of my biggest issue with Bagworm- not the mother/brother dynamic of course, but  the wanting to keep my place, etc- for our opponents, it's only meaningless ill-gotten gain, but for us,something deeper and more real...

One thing in our favor on this issue is the depressed housing market- I can only hope it continues to tank, so the vultures depart fom our homes for better carrion elsewhere!!!! And, if I  do have to sell, etc, at least I can get something else at today's prices,or relocate , or whatever, but I don't want to just now... JUSTICE JUSTICE I WANT JUSTICE (for us both)

Keep tough My Hoppy- the game is not over yet, and I want you to be intact and flourishing as you deserve to be.

Love,

Changes
« Last Edit: May 30, 2008, 05:18:59 PM by Changes »

Hopalong

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #106 on: May 30, 2008, 05:35:45 PM »
I'm trying, Changes. But I need to try harder.
I don't have the luxury of distraction any more.
Need to get home and battle paperwork and such, big time.

I wish I hadn't spent so much time daydreaming about how I'd make it beautiful and make it my own.

But enough whining. I could do the same with a new place, if need be.

I've been looking at what's available around here that I could afford with whatever's left, and it's basically glorified chicken coops.

It's always going to be a pretty town though.
And there will always be spring.

Ami, I think my mother was so focused on getting attention and approval from my brother that she either would not or could not take seriously what would become of me.

love,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

Ami

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #107 on: May 30, 2008, 05:43:18 PM »
Wow,Hops
 It is so hard to think of a M not caring about her D's well-being, in that way, but I guess I should not be surprised, although I always am.     Ami
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.        Eleanor Roosevelt

Most of our problems come from losing contact with our instincts,with the age old wisdom stored within us.
   Carl Jung

Changes

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #108 on: May 30, 2008, 07:21:29 PM »
Hoppy My Dear-

I definitely can relate- I loathed the idea of looking at my stupid documents again, now I have a giant almost impossible list of things to get together for the OSC next week, so I have to drag everything out yet again,revise, revise, revise, fax fax fax (I got a wonderful machine- lightweight and works beautifully), explain, etc It sure helps to be able to post and get feedback- seems to relieve the STRESS!!! We can do it Hoppy- we can!!!!

The added personal pain of someone who was close to you twisting the knife- really makes it harder sometimes. Dear Girl, I pray that there is no market for your house at this time, and your brother trades his interest in it  to you for something else out of  sheer frustration , or whatever else can happen to make it right does for you. Please send good vibes my way as well- I need Bagworm to stop the paracitism and crawl away to his next victim!

Sending Love and Peace,

Changes
« Last Edit: May 30, 2008, 07:24:22 PM by Changes »

Izzy_*now*

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #109 on: May 31, 2008, 06:30:46 PM »
hi hops

I check now and then to see your new news and I commiserate with you.

Looking for a really suitable place for you. Do you have the feeling that you do not want to 'settle'?

My worst time was looking for suitable for D and me when she was 2½. I saw the whole upstairs of a nice house, 2 br, lr kit. bath, but I disliked the front door entry that I would use as would my landlords. AND where would her toys go. Not suitable

THEN I saw 2 rooms in a very old house, front entrance for all but branched off to a private door for each. Big sliding doors between the rooms. shared the bath, but there were BIG wardrobes, big rooms, lroom was kitchen too and I drew water from the bathroom, private (but same hallway as the landlady.) Sounds worse? Was just right until I could move on again.

We just know when we see it!!!!

I am appalled at your mother. If it were me? I would never go back again! but then I have no experience with Nmothers.

There are always bumps in the road, just be sure your shock absorbers are installed properly!

and the real speed bumps I know were made for me and my chair!!--slow down and I wouldn't be hurt. What was the rush anyway?

Love
Izzy
« Last Edit: May 31, 2008, 06:33:34 PM by Izzy_*now* »
"The joy of love lasts such a short time, but the pain of love lasts one's whole life"

Hopalong

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #110 on: May 31, 2008, 11:22:49 PM »
Here's to squishing bagworms between our toes and to knowing home when we feel it.

I know what you mean, Izz. I've boycotted Mom for three nights now. But I'll go tomorrow. Her choices don't deny me mine...and if I can't be compassionate to a 97 y/o, I ain't worth much. I feel detached enough around her. Just needed a break this week.

NEWS. My lawyer just emailed me that my brother's lawyer emailed him saying NO hearing Tuesday.

I have no idea what this means. I assume my brother didn't like our refusal of his demands (we said No to everything he wanted except that if her new will is valid, and we assume it is until confirmed otherwise--then I'll owe him his portion of the house when she dies). He had offered 3 years for me to pay him, we countered with 5.

So I'm spending the day tomorrow on paperwork and we'll go ahead with her Medicaid application.

Changes, do you know if it's a good sign that the hearing is off?????

Biting nails,
Hops
"That'll do, pig, that'll do."

lighter

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #111 on: June 01, 2008, 12:26:16 AM »
OH great.... and now you wait and worry, Hops.

Assume he's planning something sneaky and underhanded.....

Awful and unexpected....

then try to stop worrying about it.

You'll know what it means.... soon enough.

No sense giving up all your joy bc it won't be good: /

Lighter



Changes

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Re: so blue I'm purple
« Reply #112 on: June 01, 2008, 12:28:34 AM »
Hi Hoppy Dear-

OWW CONTINUANCES!!! That old wheels of justice grinding slow thing... I can't know why your bro's side asked for one, but I would guess that they thought your side would cave in to their demands and you didn't, and they don't want to fight it out in court at this point , especially if the authenticity of the will (not done under duress or by an incompetent, etc) is still in play. (Your lawyer will know) Oooh I hope you can get the new will thrown out somehow. I am putting you and your lawyer on the prayer wall tomorrow Hoppy.

Do you have a safe deposit box? Keep your private papers there, just in case if you do. This continuance may be to your advantage if you live in the house, etc., and the values go down in your area!!!! Less $$$ to come up with if you do settle if the valuation is low!!!! And if the housing market rebounds, then you could just refi and give him his pittance as well as having money for a beautiful decorating binge!!!!

Do visit your mommy when you feel OK about it- my father was rich, left me nothing and was abandoned by his grasping wife- still he didn't thank me or appreciate my help and loving care in his last days. But I feel peaceful about it now- that's big, Hoppy. You are a loving and caring lady and even this trial by fire cannot take that from you.

Keep strong Precious Hoppy.

Love,

Changing