It's been awhile

[alone48]

I haven't been gone because things are better, actually quite the opposite. N is back roaring his ugly head and I've just been laying low.I don't think he'll ever be gone until he totally destroys me, he doesn't want me but that isn't really the issue with N"s is it? I know this is very noncommittal but I am so paranoid that I have to keep it this way, I need all the prayers and wishes I can get. Thanks.

[lighter]

Oh alone.....

::sending you prayers and strength while you're under siege::

Is there some way to distance yourself from N?

Lighter

[debkor]

Hi Alone,

Ditto with Light,

Maybe just visiting us here you can distance yourself a bit..

Love
Deb

[lighter]

Going to the magistrates court and seeking a temporary order of protection is an option too.

He shouldn't be able to approach you, call you or threaten you if you're being stalked.

You don't need an attorney to ask for that.

Lighter

[gratitude28]

Please take care of yourself, Alone. You can't give up and let him win. Please take the advice here and find a way to get away.
Love, Beth

[alone48]

Thank you everyone, but it's not a physical threat, more legal issues. He will probably win, because I cared enough I didn't protect myself. I have had no contact with N since 10/2007 personally, he doesn't work that way. I probably will never directly hear from him again, I am not worth his attention. He will destroy me in other ways. Thank you again.

[Leah]

(((((((( Alone ))))))))

Your personal safety and well being is number one priority.

Please get in touch with your local women's domestic violence and abuse unit -- for help, guidance and support.  

From a safe place:  a trusted friend's house, or use the computer at your local library.

In the meantime, I will most certainly pray for you.

Love, Leah


PS>   Dear Alone, we posted at the same time.     Your local women's dva unit will most likely be able to signpost and give free advice on the legal matters.

[alone48]

Thanks again, but it was my own stupidity for loving him and I probably deserve whatever I get. He wins as I always knew he would.prayers are probably my only chance, but I feel I betrayed God too.

[Certain Hope]

Dear Alone,

Just wanted to remind you that this will stop.... bBecause I remember well that I was so sure, once upon a time, that it would never, ever end... but it will.
He is not all powerful and he cannot destroy your spirit. He's just a cloud without water and he'll blow away.
Really.

I'm praying for just exactly that.

Love,
Carolyn

[Hopalong]

You sound so discouraged, Alone.
I'm sorry it feels so heavy right now.

When you say "destroy me", what do you mean?
Is he after all your money?

Is there no hope from your attorney?

Is there no option to stand up and fight even belatedly?

Wishing you peace even amid a storm,
Hops

[gratitude28]

Alone,
You don't DESERVE anything except to be healthy and happy. Do you think that every person who makes a mistake is/should be punished? I surely don't. It is not too late to do anything you can to help yourself. Please, please go talk to someone - even if it is just to tell them that you feel you did make a huge and irreversible mistake.
((((((((((((Alone))))))))))))))))
Love, Beth

[Ami]

I am sorry you are hurting, Alone. You are a precious person who deserves love and honor. *I* can see it, Alone , and always have.
 I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad and despairing, Alone.   Love You and thinking of you, Dear Friend.  Love   Ami


(((((((((Alone)))))))))))

[Certain Hope]

Thanks again, but it was my own stupidity for loving him and I probably deserve whatever I get. He wins as I always knew he would.prayers are probably my only chance, but I feel I betrayed God too.

Oh, Alone... please know that it's not so... he isn't nearly as powerful as your mind is trying to convince you he is.
 I remember feeling just this way and it was so strong...  he even seemed to be omnipresent for awhile there, as I'd see him nearly every time I'd leave my home.

And you are not stupid. These people can be expert con artists and you simply wanted to believe...  which is really easy to do when they're reflecting back to you all of the love and goodness which is in you to begin with. It's never theirs, you see?  It's always been yours, just they mimic it back to you.  All of that light and hope is still yours, just as it always was. He can't steal it if you don't let him. Please don't fall for his illusion of power now. You've got more than he's ever capable of possessing and that can blossom again.

Love,
Carolyn

[lighter]

It probably does feel like you're being destroyed.

And it's worse bc we help them engineer our doom, at least in the beginning.

The courts can go on for a long long time.... you have to figure out how to settle your mind and find a better life until he's exhausted everything he can inflict on you.  You already know that'll be a very long time, no sense kidding yourself.

That you're hooked into the reality is sad, but there's also no where to go but up.

(((alone)))  I never figured out how to do what you're trying to do.... and not be bent under the weight of it.

What does your attorney say?

Maybe someone here can give you some legal insight, if you share?

Remember... nothing good nor bad.... lasts forever.  

Lighter

[Hopalong]

Alone, you sound so discouraged.
I hate to hear you sounding like you're sitting under a downspout all by yourself, wondering why you're soaked...

Hon, what is he after, exactly? Is it all about taking as much of your money as he can?
Wouldn't surprise me a bit if that were true...it's certainly been my Nbrother's motivation.
But the part that gets me under the downspout isn't just the nuts and bolts of financial defense, but the knowledge that the OTHER thing he wants is to grind me under his heel. That's the part I have to shake off as a repetitive neurosis of narcissists that I do not have to be awed by. It's the pitiful aggression of a bully.

I don't know what is winnable or not in my case nor yours, but what does your attorney say?

It's hell waiting for the legal wheels to grind, isn't it. How long has it been in litigation?

love and comfort and an umbrella,
Hops