"Why would I help someone who was so self assured and didn't seem needy.....?"
(paraphrased, of course)
The first thing I thought of was dysfunctional families,
where the parents keep the weak children weak,
and make the strong children stronger.
I read about that phenomenon in the book, THE MILLIONAIR NEXT DOOR, several years back.
The example that came to me was of a friend....
who went on to become a surgeon....
while his parents kept the baby of the family, his little sister, completely dependant and needy.
I'm sure his parents thought they were doing her a great favor.
There were distinctly different rules for each child.
Does bean have different rules, with regard to her feelings about "helping" "self assured vs needy" posters too?
I digress..... the surgeon's parents forced him to employ his sister at his office, for years after he got out of medl school.
It cost him other employees, bc his sister couldn't control herself and caused conflicts he could do nothing about, without causing family discord.
He finally drew a boundary and asked her to leave.
It was a huge family upset but he refused to be leveraged further, and that was that.
He had to run an office and support his family, including 5 children.
Now, the parents pay for her apartment, food, because she won't go out into the world and seek other employment. She'd have to learn social skills, grow and learn to problem solve.
Though that might broaden her horizons, do her good to "carve her own niche" her parents wouldn't think of
making her do that. Taking responsibility for herself, in other words.
She's not disabled, except by their "help."
How is that "helping?"
Any thoughts?
Lighter
