I’m not sure I’m qualified to speak up on this Flower but I’ll have a go. Not qualified? Well, you sound pretty clued up to me, and strong. What can I say to help? Here goes:
Post-war recovery? Well while you’re still expecting incoming missiles, maybe the fear is still present? It’s always there with me, not fear exactly, but not knowing when and what the next thing will be. Whenever I disconnect from the net, I check to see if there are any phone messages. If there are, I have a ‘moment’ wondering if it’s from her. And relief if it isn’t. So I guess that is a sort of fear?
You say you plan to burn, ignore. Plan. Not “will” burn, ignore? Maybe that’s just a word. Maybe it’s indicative of the always being on alert: it would be for me. Luckily she doesn’t contact me too often. But every two weeks would worry me. Suppose it got to six weeks no contact? What would you think then? That she’s playing the waiting game? And that there’s something building up, ready to be unleashed?
I thought of ‘highly effective families’ even though I don’t like the Covey management-type approaches to life. But how about having set family meetings to discuss how we’re feeling about it. That kind of thing. Talking in detail about defence tactics. Deciding exactly how you’re going to react before something happens so you’re not caught off-guard. And another meeting agenda item is how you feel about family communication. How about it? I guess it works for some people. Definitely just my 2 cents. P
