Has it been discussed here before that a possible reason for cycles of board conflict is that people hold in their real feelings and thoughts about others for long periods of time--------then bang-------we release?
People here are going to step on each others toes, squish each others feelings and trip on each others words from time to time. That is just human nature and since we are emotionally wounded, and at different stages of our healing, then perhaps we are more prone to conflict than other 3D places.
The point that I am making is that often times people need to get it out...get it off there chest, get into it, release all of the things that we hold on to about each other.
I have spent a great deal of time on the board turning the other cheek; being nice and choosing not to respond to slaps and un-nice things said to me as well as taking in being ignored by others (I ignore some too, but never on purpose unless of the NC). However, I bare it. I bare it until I cannot bare it anymore and then I must speak up.
Has it occurred to anyone that if we were to speak the truth about how we feel and what we think here everyday that there could very well be a great deal of board conflict....everyday? Perhaps, that is just coming from that little girl in me who wished that my family would have been honest and direct with each other, everyday, without so much shame.
Or, if we were practicing being gently honest, in the action of love with each other, (my area of needed improvement) we might avoid the blow ups?
Regardless, as I have said before, I learn about myself in these conflicts. I stand back and watch myself and others.
Some people here exhibit exceptional communication skills -- I have a ways to go.
It is all OK with me. I want to heal.
What I have learned from the recent conflict is:
drama makes my stomach ache.
board tension scares me.
I choose to be reactive.
Sometimes I am not nice and kind....that's a no brainer.
My anger is still an issue for me (good to see that I have made progress, but still a ways to go)
Lighter topics (not lighter our board member) are enjoyable. ( yes, lighter, I learned that you are enjoyable as well )
Looking for the good in others is going to help me when I get down.
Making a gratitude list is always helpful.
Most important lesson that has come to me....I'm still just taking this in....is that I can choose to love and accept people and their actions over anger and defensive behavior.
My new goal is to choose to love, regardless of how others love me.
Now-------- that is going to be a challenge for me, but hey,...if at first I don't succeed, then I try try try again. Yes, I might and will fail....but, I will just pick myself and try again.
Sorry to all if I have stepped on your toes and been harsh lately.
I'll practice more patience as I am learning to be patient with myself.
Lise
