You're getting healthier every day Flower! Way to go!
You did a great job controlling the temptation to slip into being overly scared too, on the way to the library, by saying to yourself:
"No, I am having a nice walk here and I'm not going to let my parents spoil this." So even though anxiety was knawing at me that my mom faked a heart attack, my dad had a heart attack or things got out of hand and my husband lost his temper, I just didn't care anymore..."
You stuck with your plan and didn't let fear stop you!!
You said too:
"Actually I did face my mom in 2002 and confronted her face to face. She knew what I thought/think of her behavior. She didn't admit to wrongdoing at all. I gave her more time to see if she "got it" and she kept the same pattern of behavior..."
Same here. I confronted the n in my life, some years back and not only did she do as your n-mom, by not admitting wrong-doing and keeping the same pattern, but the pattern got a lot worse. She demanded a lot of money from me back then, saying I "owed" her because she had co-signed a loan for me, one time, and when I stood up to her and pointed out that signing her name didn't cost her anything and that she didn't "owe" me anything for anything I had ever given her, or done for her, etc...it just caused her behaviour to go beserk. I had no idea of the steps she was taking to exact revenge, as she seemed to just forget about it, and acted her regular self after that but increasingly critical, demanding, controlling, etc. Little did I know what she was doing behind the scenes to create chaos and ruin.
I mention this for those who are considering confronting their n face to face, in warning that it could make matters worse. The method you used, sneaking away when they arrived, is probably the best thing. Each person must decide how to deal with this problem, when ending relationships with n's. It's a hard thing to predict, how they will react to the truth about their behaviour, any rejection and especially, confrontation. Had you stayed to face them, there may have been a big, crazy scene that would only have added to your upset, and not accomplished much at all.
I'm glad things are working out for you and your husband. It's not an easy thing to do. Stick to your guns.