My NM is a mess when it comes to sex. I believe she was molested - I completely believe this.
She loves being sexy and using sex to attract men. She showed little interest twoard my father after they were married and such ( I heard them talking about it), but I have seen her come on to all of their friends. In a weird way, it was with Dad's approval. Kind of like "My wife is sexy, don't you think?"
Once when I was about 10, I found some topless pictures of my NM, obviously taken by my dad while she was sleeping. I was naive and told them I had found them. She screamed and carried on for hours. As an adult, I just don't think it's that big a deal.
Once when we were really small, a man drove up to my NM while she was mowing and exposed himself. She went screaming and crying to all the neighbors. Again - way out of proportion. When someone said it was worrisome because there were children around, she latched on to that as being her reason for being so upset.
I found out, as I have said, she was attracted to another man and told my dad about it. This was when I was very small - three maybe? She wrote that she told dad about it and he said if she wanted to be with the man, it was just physical and go ahead. It was a friend of theirs. I also remember asking her about why she was with the man when I was little and she said, "Why, does it bother you?" I also know that now she writes to this man on the computer, but does not tell my father and asks the man to keep it a secret from him.
As a teen, my parents allowed me to wear anything I wanted, and I wore very sexy clothes - so much so that other students commented on it. My NM also put me in situations that allowed for sexual possibilities - one I can think of is that a friend of hers did my senior pictures for school and he was a well-known lecher and a photographer of nudes and racy pictures, which he showed me when we were alone. She seemed sure I would get pregnant as a teen and was dreadfully worried she would get strapped with a kid - so rushed me off to Planned Parenthood.
Sorry to go on and on... this is a real can of worms for me because on one end I was called a slut (when I was not at all), but on the other end, I was expected to attract men and given that example by my parents.
Thanks for the topic, Izzy.
Love, Beth
