((((((((((Beth)))))))))) it's not an easy mindset to break.
I get that crusty little prophet of doom perched on my shoulder, too.
This one likes to hiss in my ear that God could wipe me out in a heartbeat... and that I'd deserve it, if He did.
A few years of peaceful living and positive changes hasn't been enough to shut that toxic lizard up, but he's got plenty of fresh bruises to show for his efforts.
All I know to do is keep putting the smackdown on him, Beth.
He's an old habit that dies hard... and he's intimate with the critical voices which are always vying for control... but he can't define me or my reality unless I allow that.
Resist the skumbag and he will flee from you.
lol... I typed flea, at first.
That's it... we need some Advantage for the soul to drive this crud away.

One thing... when it's off your shoulder and nipping at your heels... I've found that it doesn't help to run faster.
Gotta turn and look it in the eye and say, with all assurance, "Back off!"
Beth, you're doing awesomely well. Look up!
Love,
Carolyn