I found the anomaly amusing when one person said that we have to help ourselves
(He has a pile of self help books.) but it’s rather stupid for a damaged self to help one’s self.
Interesting movie with a school full of losers, being gypped by a con man. Anyone see it?
It made me think how hard it was all my life to find a therapist who would help me. I wasn't sure what was wrong! wasn't sure--Hell I didn't know!!!
I realize now it was because I researched my life over and over and back and forth and up and down, and around and around and repeated all that 1,000,000 times and realized where my dysfunctions (passed down from parents) lay.
When I took all this garbage to my therapist he is validating me in places I never thought.
He is also agreeing in the places where I felt I went wrong.
The hardest to take is that when I saw my daughter, at 5, and her 6th birthday when in the hospital and Rehab, it was for a 2 hour visit. She'd leave with whoever brought her, an hour's drive to and from and all was OK. But....
Then I asked my parents if they would leave her with me one day, and see if they could go over to mom's cousin's for dinner and then pick D up about 7:00. We had a great time and had dinner together and other patients talked to her and we watched cartoons and played basketball etc. and when time to go.........she just sobbed her little heart out for over 15 minutes. My heart broke as she sat on my knee and I talked to her and tried to calm her and make sense.
I tried this again when her sitter came to the City for Christmas shopping. D and I had the whole afternoon and dinner together and again she sobbed and sobbed when she had to leave. I stopped these visits as it was too hard on her and me.
Therapist said that was the wrong move. I even saw it myself as I told him.
My parents couldn't have gone to the cousins' for dinner every second weekend--they don't like each other that much (Ha!)
. Parents could have gone to a restaurant and ate from 2:00 until 7:00-?????--same with sitter and the Xmas shopping.Expensive visits for me to cover for ¾ year.
It's all over and done with so I try to not find a solution, as I doubt there was one (not with my family.) but I made the choice
without realizing it was a wrong one!Izzy
