Hops,
I noticed something you said about yourself, which I'm highlighting, not to be hurtful, but because it, perhaps, reveals how you view yourself:
The worn-out post-middle aged caregiver in me who's trying desperately to find a 2nd job, sell her car, and hold on to her home No, No, No!!
Dear Hops, you seem to be very negative & down on yourself. Can you work on this? What strikes me is the air of desperation. Hops, you are a wonderful, caring person, a giving, sensitive person going thru some very hard times. You have been treated unfairly, but that doesn't make you a rotten person. You sound very hard on yourself. Can you re-phrase this in positives? Some self affirmations? Not self negations. When we go thru hard times, we can feel crappy about ourselves, but, that can also be the point where we can turn around our feelings of self negativity. Circumstances were unfair & negative, but you are a wonderful, loving, deep, spiritual & sincere person.
Perhaps this is a gift from your Gennulman: The experinece is causing you to look at yourself and perhaps what you see is negative. Can you turn that around? I think you can.
xoxo,
ann