Hi dear dear people. I am sorry I didn't post last night, just wrecked-tired.
Gotta tell you, there's something about Muddy Amazons...
Long story way short (I'm exhausted, long day of work followed by 5 hours prep at night, at court all day, not enough sleep last night for the adrenalin. I'm heading out for wknd job in a few):
Brother was 3 hours late --driving, why didn't he leave earlier and come the night before I'll never know, my suspicion is he overslept (family trait)--but when the judge proposed a compromise--temporary conservator-- that would mean he could skip a hearing, he refused, so I was up anyway at 5:00 a.m., my atty's cranking out photocopies at 6 and my brother doesn't call until 8:30 to tell us he's 3 hours away -- and the hearing's at 9. ! So he didn't exactly start on the "good foot" w/the judge and we both spent thousands of unecessary $$$ ... OWWWW
We (the 3 attorneys--1 each plus guardian ad litem, my 4 witnesses, judge, brother, me) waded through 4 hours' testimony -- poring over paperwork and all the statements we'd already given them months ago -- once he finally got there. All the witnesses were perfect, my paperwork was organized and my atty said I did an excellent job ("and I'm not just saying that"). Judge got pissed at my brother a couple times and brother made several weird, irrational or off-putting remarks. He was disorganized, had no coherent evidence but innuendo (Judge kept saying, what evidence do you have, I see no evidence whatsoever of any misappropriation or these things you're hinting at), was a cross between evil and pitiful. He announced that he had moved to town as of today, would separate from his wife (and leave his "special needs:" daughter behind) to move into this house and take over everything. !!!! As of last night!
Judge sez: "You mean you plan to do that against your sister's wishes? How are you going to stay there when there is no more relationship between the two of you?" Brother says, welll no, I wouldn't force my way in but "that's what families do"... and it was so weird. I have no idea what he'll do but he may lurk a while. I felt absolutely backed up about him not having access to the house, by judge and lawyers. I hope he goes home. I don't know what he meant about his marriage but it was weird. Ultimately so very sad. But not my job -- I can't fix him.
As Gman & I took my atty to the garage we all sat in the car a while talking about it and my brother walked by. I blurted, I feel sorry for him, my atty said, "In that moment when I just saw him I briefly felt the same way, but please do not hesitate to call the police if he comes anywhere near you or even cruises past tonight."
In a nutshell for now, that was it. My brother is a tragic figure and an unsafe one who is tormented, paranoid, horrendously insecure-narcissistic and to me, vicious. I am an imperfect bookkeeper, and honorably burned out recovering exhausted caregiver. I am still to be her guardian and we'll have a temporary independent conservator (paralegal or book-keeper) for a few months and then the judge will make an order. I think we're to transfer the house in the meantime if brother will cooperate. No idea. But the judge kept smiling at me. Dunno if that means anything.
The whole ordeal has been a stupid sick waste of time and resources and my atty said my brother's lawyer signaled him in several nonverbal ways that his heart isn't in it, he can't bear his client. Judge was warm to me, brother's atty did not live up to his reputation and didn't badger me, my atty was unflappable, our elderly family friend (95) was so charming the lawyers all swooned, Mom's morning companion was her honest spitfire loving self, my notary friend was crystal clear about the POA and my church-neighbor friend was steady as a rock about my worrying over Ma that she's witnessed over the decade.
My brother is acting out a lifetime volcano of suppressed resentment and guilt and shame and envy he's projected onto me and he either can't or won't get help to see himself. Unless Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter count as help.
Gman (Gennulman) sat on a hard chair in the hallway All Day Long.
And then there were the angels of VESMB...surrounding the courthouse, beating silently against the windows with their wings.
I am one blessed human being.
with grateful love,
Hops
