Good Judgment. How do you acquire the skill to make good judgments?

[teartracks]

Hi everyone,

I've  been wondering if a person is born with a skill set that allows them to make good judgments without a lot of thought and effort?   Likewise, are ther people born with no sense of how to make good judgments?  My observation is that the person who seemingly possesses no skill at making good judgments  finds themselves in one stew after another usually with the deer in the headlights countenance through it all.  Then I see people who seem to make good judgments effortlessly and pretty much consistently.  So my question is, do you think good judgment is something that can be taught to the willing even though there is no evidence that they have that inate ability (if there is such a thing) for it.  Can it be taught like  long division or plumbing or automobile assembly line work or cashiering?  In other words can a person learn how to make good judgments by practice, practice, practice  guided by someone who understands the process?   I'm pretty much befuddled by the question. 

tt

[Izzy_*now*]

hi tt

I am only guessing at this because I was so poor with boundaries in my earlier life, as in up to a few years ago. With no boundaries, my decisions were not as straightforward and 'right' for me, until I began to look after #1....me.

I suggest these boundaries are taught to us with the wisdom of experience in our parents. If that is nonexistent, then we learn no boundaries and can take off 'willy-nilly' into the world.

I am going to post a boundary for Lupita.

xx
Izzy

[teartracks]

Hi Iz,

I think part of my befuddlement re good judgment is trying to figure out how it relates to horse sense, common sense, leadership skills, having a mind ready for action, etc.  I don't think those things can thrive without boundaries, but isn't good judgment something that includes healthy boundaries, but is not  necessarily defined by them?  See what I mean? 

tt

[Gaining Strength]

TT - a person can have good judgment in some areas and not in others.  Good judgment can be developed if a person sets their mind to do so but the more specific you are the easier it is to develop it.  You are speaking of good judgment in what area?

[teartracks]

GS,

Not in any particular area.  My main question is whether what we view as good judgment has its beginning in something we're born with making it easier for some to build upon that inate talent/gift?  Or does it have less to do with inate ability and more to do with whether we pursue it or if we acquire it via parenting, experiences, etc.? 

tt

[Hopalong]

I believe in every individual the answer is a complex mix of genetics and learning...and that when we finally see a personality pattern that may be an inherited inclination, there is still no limit to the learning and wisdom we can acquire and apply to both our positive and negative sides.

I don't think we're perfectable, but I think we're always improvable.

And even the hard-core N, as in biting dog, who can't be let past our boundaries, can learn.

I was so struck by an interview Park Dietz had with "The Ice Man' (a serial hitman) and a moment when the Ice Man actually wondered aloud: I wonder what's wrong with me? It wasn't an urgent or painful question, it appeared, but more like the actual acceptance: I know there is something wrong with me. Fundamentally wrong. And I am curious about it.

Sounds so lame but I saw it as a leap. That he was curious. Someone like him will probably never grow a soul that's safe to be outside the walls, but he might grow inside some. Even separate from others, he can learn.

love
Hops

[axa]

My hunch is that people who are modelled good judgment grow up with that skill - it is almost as if it is instinctual.  For those of us who grew up without boundaries and were disrespected we look outside to learn good judgment and  only through work, awareness etc we internalise what seems like common sense.  That's my view but maybe there are other factors

axa

[Hopalong]

Hi TT...

She's having a rough time. A lot sadder and I keep finding her post-tears, red eyed.
Shoulder hurts her badly at times when they leave her too long leaning on the paralysed arm.

Last few visits she's been cheerful.

Even at 98 with her busted wing, she makes me eat the rest of her muffin and urges bits of her institutional food on me.

It's moving. Once a mother...always.

With much love,
Hops