Wish me luck!

[Lupita]

I am going to visit my family after seven years of not going to my town.
I have had temporary therapists, and all told me that I should cut all contact with my mother.
I am not ready to do that.
So, I am going. I have not seen my sister in 12 years. My brother in seven years.
They do not talk to me. They think I am a bad daughter and they are good son and daughter and that is why my mother loves them more.
I want to do a surgical procidure that here in USA costs 12000 and in my town a classmate of mine who went to medical school with me, will do it for free.
So, i will see everybody and see how detach I am. It will probably hurt. But I will recover.
At this point it is almost to nothing what I feel for my family.
My brother's life is a mess, my nephew is invalid, and he never recovered from that. He focuses on what he cannot do instead on what he can do.
My sister is totally selfabsorbed to the point that she almost lost contact with reality.
My mother's husband is my age and he totally obeys her in everything she says.
It is going to be interesting how I react to all this. All in the name of beauty.
I think I deserve it. I have worked so hard all my life!!!!

[lighter]

I'll pray you aren't hurt too badly by any innapropriate behavior from your FOO, Lupita.

That you're going home for a visit, and getting the surgery for free, is a good thing.

Just remember, you can say NO, you can refuse to accept poor treatment and you can visit friends who care about you just as easily as FOO that doesn't.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Mo2

[sKePTiKal]

Mucho, mucho good luck Lupita....

you deserve the benefits of what you've chosen! And remember - believing that is probably a sin in the eyes of your family.
You watch your back with them - and don't play their games. You'll be fine.

[Lupita]

Tank you Mof2 and PR for your resposnses and good wishes.

I already feel tired just talking to my mother about the trip.

She wants so much that I feel bad. If not by my classmate the surgeon who will help me for free, I wold not be going there.

Love,

Lupita

[Hopalong]

Safe travel, Lupita...and may it all be dull.

That's what you need with your family, imo...

xo

Hops

[lighter]

Please remember this trip is about you.

It's not about your mother.

You can make choices about contact with her and the rest of your family.

You certainly don't need high levels of stress before, during or after surgery.

(((Lupe)))
You're worthy of decent treatment.

Don't let anyone treat you badly..... withdraw with love and go do something else. 

BTW..... please tell me you aren't staying with your family, esp while you're recovering from surgery.

Maybe you can stay with your doctor friend? 

Mo2

[Dawning]

Wishing you luck, Lupita. 

Take good care and I do want to say that, perhaps, it would be good if you didn't go alone (ie, bring a good friend along.) 

Sending heartfelt wishes for a positive experience for you,

Dawning.

[Lupita]

Thank you Hops, Mof2, and Down.

I am not that detached yet. Not just yet. I will spend a few days in my sister in low's house. I asked my s in low to stay with me at all times the first few dyas.

Yes, I am taking a friend. My friend with echo personality. We still go out but I have tried my best to make him understand that I do not like him as a lover, but only as a friend. He seems to get along with it.

He is going with me. He does almost everything I tell him to do. He has no ideas of his own. Very parasitic. But he fixed my car one day that it left me on the street not working. He repared several things in my apartment. He is excellent handyman.

He goes with me to my Hip Hop presentations, he does whatever I wnat that does no require money. He does not like to spend money.

But he is payinf his trip to my country to go with me and I told him to stay with me at all times and not to leave me alone with my mother.

My mother will have a taste of her own soup when she sees a daughter that is not available, no more available victim to bully.

My son has a new girlfriend. I kind of like her. Her mother is a little retarded (I mean really) and she is not very much available for her, so I might have the opportunity to gain her sympathy by giving her love that hse could not recieve from er mother. I hope so.

Things are falling in to place in my life.

I cannot just forgive my self for allowing my baby to suffer six years in the hads of his monstrous father. It took me six yeras to take him out of there.

That guilt is killing me. But seeing my son doing his PHD at the university and seeing him so happy with his new grilfriend makes me feel a little better.

Some people are nasty at work but that does not make me suffer as much as it did in the past.

Eckhart Tolle and Wayne Dyer are wondeful.

Now I am studying "Change your questions change your life" MaryLee Adams, instead of blaming you think, what am I responsible for, what are my choices, what else I can think about that, what is the other person feeling, how can I meet the situation needs insteda of how can I make this situation meet my needs, etc.

Love you all

[lighter]

Wow, Lup.

That's a lot of information.

In a way, I'm glad you're taking someone on the trip with you.

In another way, I hope that particular friend doesn't cause more anxiety.

Just stay focused on the positive.

Ignore the small things and keep moving.

You'll be home, post op and healed, before you know it.

When things get really intense..... just let the feelings wash over you and try not to react.

You can bet people will try to get a response, but you don't have to react.

You can withdrawl with love and choose better things.

Good luck again and please check in during trip (((Lupita)))

Mo2

[Hopalong]

Well put, Mo2:

You can withdraw with love and choose better things.

thank you.

Hops

[lighter]

You're welcome, Hops.