Oh the traits..well some of these are repeats from other lists, but I need to describe them to someone who understands for my own sanity..dunno if that makes sense..
Arrogant..N g/f sits across the room from me, arms tightly crossed nose in the air(literally) holding court about how sick others are, how incompetent, eyes darting about, talking about how the people in the past have let her down, disappointed her, abused her etc., and what a survivor she is thruogh it all. In public it's all about her honors psych degree(imagine that) and awards and victories in her life, with a little scourn for her ex-husband and family thrown in. Oh, and how the grocery clerk admired her and surely wanted to ask her out. She tells me that.
Fearful and Insecure late at night, when it's the two of us, when the intimacy should be there, she frets and cries aloud abouit the future that might not go her way. About people who won't do what she wants them to..by the way..you will notice that nowhere in any of this am I mentioned..I seem to never, never be the focus of her attention. I feel like her therapist, except that I never get to give feedback unless it's "I'm sorry your feeling bad honey" or "I'm sorry your ex was such a jerk".
And as for intimacy, I think that's where I have been brought to my knees. Closeness, or what would seem like it, comes very seldom, and when it does she initiates it or it doesn't happen. When I try, I get the most dead-cold reaction, it just wipes me out. And when she does begin something, it is like a performance. I can see in her face her pride at being able to make me respond as I do. Feels almost like "bad touch"
Oh lord running out of time here..more will be revealed..Thanks for the post
