Help me make a decision.

[Lupita]

I hope that the triviality of this post does not bother anybody. I just need help to decide. It is very difficult for me to make desitions and wanted to know if somebody has a method or ideas how to get to a conclusion.

The question is that I am going to move. Found a nice small apartment close to my church and my work.

The questions is that they have one ofr 650 a month with out washer and drayer hook up and no storage closet. I would be saving only in rent 300 a month. But I would be going to the laundromat for washing clothe, getting in my car with the heavy bag or clothe and if it is raining and still would pay at least 20 a month for laundramat and 20 a month for a storage closet. With a huge effort of washing outside of home.

The other possibility es 750, for an apartment with washer and dryer hook up where I can put my washer and dryers that otherwise I have to give to aomebody else for free. And it would have a small closet for storage.

That menas a saving of 200 dollars a month with the peace of washing inside my apartment whenever I want to.

I really wanted to save money, but to think of the space and the effort to wash outside home, I would be saving instead of 3000 a year, 2000 a year.

What do you think? How can I make a desicion that I will not regret later and I will feel comfortable knowing that I did the best for what I am and I know how I feel.

Due to my upbringing, I always regret what I do. This time, I want to feel good with what I decide.

It might be trivial, if you think of just a question about saving money and a washer and dryer, but it is not really that, it is the concept that I always have a rpoblem when I have to choose soemething. Or I want to feel good with what I have chosen.Any ideas?

[Izzy_*now*]

hi Lupita.

If it were me, I would pay the extra rent and have all my conveniences in one place. Eventually taking the laundry out, to do, will be so tedious you'll begin to hate it, dragging all the necessities along. In the long run I believe you will like it much better.

(We all hate paying rent, that when we move we have nothing to show for it, so might as well enjoy where we live.)

I have no storage here, but don't need it, as I've cut back on belongings, and the dam*ed laundry room is down one floor, with a locked, double heavy fire door. It's so difficult for me to get through...was. My houselady has been doing the laundry for 3 months now, and I will request a test run with my therapist in tow, before I ever say I can , once again, do it myself.

Making your decision(s) is/are your decision(s) and always think of what is best for you in the long run.

Hope this helps.

Love
Izzy

[Hopalong]

Here's my idea, Lupita:

--Get the one with the washer/dryer.

--Immediately stop buying laundry detergent and stop using "dryer sheets." Instead of paying $.20+ a load, do it for $.02 a load. Here's how to make your own detergent (I just made 3 gallons the other day, and it took 15 minutes total. LOVE FRUGAL TIPS LIKE THIS!)

Purchase:
1) an unscented bar of plain Ivory soap ("Zote" soap bar is also okay)
2) 1 box Borax (20 Mule Team is a common brand)
3) 1 box Washing Soda (Arm & Hammer makes it)

Find:
a 4 or 5-gallon container with lid (anything will do...like a plastic kitty litter or empty detergent bucket). I had an old 5-gal bucket but no lid, so I cut a styrofoam circle for the lid. It doesn't need to be perfect.)

Recipe:
1) Grate soap bar (any texture's fine--flakes, little curls, whatever)
2) Boil 4 cups water (you can grate the bar while water heats)
3) Add the soap flakes/curls, turn heat to LOW, stir until dissolved into "soapy soup"
4) Take the bucket to where you'll keep it (to avoid carrying it full).
5) Add 3 gallons warm tap water to the bucket
6) Add to that water: soapy soup, then the borax, then the washing soda
7) Stir and put on lid, leave for 24 hours

You'll have a soupy gel-like mixture. It will be partly clear, part "globs". That's fine. It doesn't need to be an even consistency. To do laundry, add 1 cup to washing machine as it fills and that's it.

It works just as well as any laundry detergent I've ever bought and better than some. If you want scent, add some essential oil.

Now you have a way to save money that will help compensate for the rent difference!

 

Hops

[Ami]

Dear Lupita
 I hear your fear and pain UNDER the question. You are afraid to be shamed and humiliated if make the wrong choice(by your internal M) Our NM"s hurt us so badly for any mistake.
 I think it is really good that you braved the shame about asking such a "trivial" question and asked it anyway. You saw that you were not shamed but accepted.
 I think we need to take the risk to show our unsure selves  over and over and  to see not everyone will treat us like our NM's.
 My opinion is definitely take the washer and dryer one.
 I hear that that is what you want to do but do not have the confidence to trust yourself.           Ami

[JustKathy]

Well, I'm with everyone else - take the washer/dryer. Back when I rented apartments, I always had access to a washer and dryer, even if it were a community machine that was down in the parking garage. I can't imagine how much time would be wasted (and major inconvenience) by having to haul the clothes down to a laundromat and sit there reading a magazine, or whatever, while you wait. I realize that money is tight for everyone these days, but if you can afford it, I'd go for the nicer unit. I do think that you'll be happier. You can't put a price on your time, or even your safety, depending on the area and location of the laundromat. I know several people who do not have a washer/dryer, and finally decided to drop their clothes off at the dry cleaner's for laundering rather than sit for two hours at the laundromat. So in their case, they regretted NOT getting the machine, and ended up spending more money by using a service. If you can afford it, I'd go with the washer/dryer option, either one. You'll be safer, happier, and have more time for yourself.

[Saraa]

Hi Lupita:

I once lived in an apartment without a washer dryer in the apartment and no community laundry room in the complex. 

Going to the neighborhood laundromat was a major hassle and a major infringement on my free time.   I dreaded bringing the laundry to the laundromat because sometimes I had to wait around for an available washer or dryer.  The entire process was just incredibly time consuming, in general, even though I often did some grocery shopping while the wash cycled through the machines. 

A year later I finally moved to an apartment complex that had a washer dryer in the hall, shared by the four residents on that floor.

What a relief.  The time I saved, and the stress reduction, was worth its weight in gold. 

[Hopalong]

the other things about making your own laundry detergent are:

--we spend most of the money on a cup of chemicals and a gallon of water that's trucked across the country and then we have to HAUL it from the grocery store

--it's insanely wasteful, all the advertising, and it's FUN to step out of that spell

--it works fine

Hope somebody tries it!

Hops

[Lupita]

I have analized your points of view and I believe that more comfort is going to result in more wellness. So, I have decided to go for the better apartment.

Otherwise, I am going to be constantly whining about the effort to carry laundry to somewhere else.

Thank you so much for your imput.

Hops, I will try that. It sounds like a project for my science class of chemestry. Very interesting!

[rosencrantz]

From what you've said, you'll find it difficult not to become unhappy with the decision you have made.  Try to remember how GOOD you felt when you made your decision and continue to KNOW that you made the right one for you.  Have faith in yourself.  Congratulate yourself for having made a wise decision and never let your mother's voice overlay your own with carping about the downside of your decision (the money factor).

As I have recently understood : every decision has a downside; every relationship has a downside.  It's a choice.  Embrace your choice and keep moving forward.  Never look back but DO find ways of off-setting the downside. You're 'allowed'. 

[Lupita]

Thank you Ros, and all dear friends. I made up my mind and hope that I will not regret as usual. Confort is important after long days of work,. that will be a point very important.
I made up my mind.
Gos bless you all.

[lighter]

It makes me sad that you'll be leaving your little place by the water.

I know you really liked it, Lupe.

Taking the alternative apartment with the W&D definately sounded like the best choice: )

I hope it works out for you.

[Lupita]

This is to prove that I am a "loser" in quotations. Becaus when you are not capable to make a decision quick in the right moment you end up losing.

The apartment with wahser and dryer hook up, is gone. Only the one without is available. I had to say yes or i will get nothing. or go to another apartment complex. All others are more expensive/ This was this best I founf. So, destiny decided for me becasue I did not decide on time.

So, i hope I learn the lesson.

[lighter]

Can't you stay where you are for a while?

Until you've healed and can think clearly?

[Lupita]

No. I want to move. I want to live close to my work I am tired of driving one hour everyday for work and coming back. It is two hours on the wheel everyday. I need to work close to my work.

[lighter]

I'm so sorry, Lupita.

Please don't seel your washer and dryer...... they'r yours.

I hope you can find another place with a wd hookup.

Perhaps you could find a little apartment in someone's home?

Have you checked out all possible places to move?

You've been so busy travekubg and recovering. 

There may be a sunny side to this dilemma.

Mo2