Voicelessness and Emotional Survival > What Helps?
Has anyone dealt with a narcicistic relationship?
Anonymous:
{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
You are not alone.....
Surviver:
Wow! found you guys after reading an article in the December Cosmopolitan.l have spent 25 years with this man and just discovered what his problem is!! l have had real lows but hung onto the knowledge that it wasn't me that had issues.l should have cut and run years ago but was comfortable,have 3 children,now grown, and am seriously thinking of starting a new life. l can't imagine spending the rest of my life as a virtual punchbag for this man.
l am so pleased that there is a real explanation for the vicious tantrums l witness.
Orchid:
I just found this board and want to share an important lesson in case it could help someone else. I left my narcissist ex over 7 years ago after suffering through 21 years of marriage. We had three children together and I could no longer bear to see the way he treated them. I filed for divorce with full custody. However, at the time the children were ages 17, 14 and 11. Because my oldest was a 17 year old boy, he identified with his father and wanted to (and legally could) stay with his father. My 14 year old son wanted to stay with his brother. My 11 year old daughter was urged by her brothers to stay with them. Faced with this surprising opposition, I consulted a child psychiatrist. He said I had waited too long to leave my husband. Children of this age identify with their father. Younger children would probably choose to stay with their mother. Even though I contested his appeal this in the courts, the judge gave full custody to the children's father. My oldest son, now 24, supports his father financially and does not see that his father uses and abuses him now as he did me before. My 19 year old daughter has been in a major depression for over five years.
Bless you and good luck.
genie:
Just stumbled upon this board, and I certainly can relate to the relationship with N men. (I am hoping the N stands for narcissitic, but not sure). I am in the process of getting a divorce after 39 years with one. I could never quite figure him out, but this group nails him down completely. Chronic lies, never responsible for his behavior, always about me, me, me, shotting himself in the foot over and over due to always being right, and, of course, wouldn't you know I am a person who is honest and realistic to a fault. You can imagine how well I have gone over in his life, pointing out all the inconsistencies and unrealistic thinking. Well he is now a 63 year old failure (business went bankrupt last year due to bad business decisions) who has found a 38 year old waitress to sigh and pine for him and i am out the door. It has been a rough winter, but know there are better days ahead. I am enjoying reading paragraphs from others who have lived with these gems.
Leslie:
My counselor said to separate from my h who is a narcisist and
sex addict. I am scared to hurt my kids and have to use more
ira money. He is repentant as long as he gets to talk, whenever
I voice my feelings they go unreplied. I am tired and want
out but don't know how to do it. Thanks for listening. Leslie
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