Helen, Have you read Jenny Joseph's famous poem "When I am Old, I Will Wear Purple"? It starts out: When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple, with a red hat that doesn't go and doesn't suit me ..." Your post reminded me of that poem.
Mr. Rogers used to say that play is children's work ... in other words, it's important. IMO, you should give yourself permission to play! That's what creativity is. There are lots of things you can do to satisfy your need for play. I think you should figure out what it is about what those little girls are doing that speaks to you so loudly ... is it the beautiful fabrics? The make-believe stories they are acting out? Their ability to ignore "convention" and try something wild and different? Then you will know which direction you want to go with your unsatisfied urge to create.
Yep, I've seen the poem taped up in a public restroom stall.
You make a good point, thanks for asking that question. I was attracted to the shiny fabric as a kid, I don't still feel that way so much. I think what it is about those little girls that speaks so loudly, is that they were allowed to go to that place of total belief. When little girls dress up, they litterally are princesses in their own minds. They are a princess not just pretend princess. I think that is what is calling to me the total conviction and rapture. Their ability to go into it whole heartedly with carefree reckless abandon. I guess also little girls feel special in their little princess dresses. What is more PRECIOUS then a little girl in a dress splashing in a mud puddle! It makes life more magical. And who says life is not magical, I mean took up at the stars at night!!
Yes, also the fact that generally no one judges little kids for being goofballs or dressing up. It is different for adults, I feel that my every sneeze is judged. I was often expected to act like an adult as a kid. I was always self conscious. It's as if adults are socially pressured to adopt deadening, arbitrary, inconsequential rules for life.
Also kids are allowed to make mistakes and be bad at stuff, they are allowed to be beginners. Sometimes I have to be a total beginner as an adult because there were things I just could not do as a kid. As an adult if feels like I am judged against high standards. Like if I'm not good enough to be a professional singer then I shouldn't sing at all! It's kind of like adults have to have a serious reason for doing something and achievement and status has to be wrapped up in everything. What about just playing soccer for fun and not being judged against Beckham. What about just dancing for fun and not being judged as if I was in "Dancing with the Stars". I don't want to be a famous movie star! I just want to have fun.
I think this is an important point, I'm going to sit with it for a while and see what else comes up.
There was this brief period as a kid when I had ambitious ideas and confidence that they were possible. Something happened and I stopped thinking ambitious thoughts and I lost confidence in myself and in life. I had business ideas when I was a kid!
