Author Topic: I found this rather funny  (Read 939 times)

Lucky

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I found this rather funny
« on: September 22, 2009, 08:41:10 AM »

http://www.ptypes.com/vigilant2.html
From The Caine Mutiny Court-Martial by Herman Wouk
GREENWALD.
Dr. Lundeen, my background is legal, not medical. I hope you'll bear with me if I try to clarify technical terms.
LUNDEEN.
Of course, of course.
GREENWALD.
I'll probably ask some elementary questions.
LUNDEEN (with an expansive smile).
That's perfectly all right.
GREENWALD.
Would you say that Commander Queeg is absolutely normal?
LUNDEEN.
Well, normality, you know, is a fiction in psychiatry. No adult is without problems except a happy imbecile.
GREENWALD.
Describe Commander Queeg's problems.
LUNDEEN.
Well, you might say the over-all problem is one of inferiority feelings generated by an unfavorable childhood and aggravated by certain adult experiences.
GREENWALD.
Unfavorable childhood in what way?
LUNDEEN.
Disturbed background. Divorced parents, financial trouble, schooling problems.
GREENWALD.
And the aggravating factors in adult life?
LUNDEEN (hesitant).
In general, the commander is rather troubled by his short stature, his low standing in his class, and such factors. But the commander is well adjusted to all these things.
GREENWALD.
Can you describe the nature of the adjustment?
LUNDEEN.
Yes, I can. His identity as a naval officer is the essential balancing factor. It's the key to his personal security. Therefore he has a fixed anxiety about protecting his standing. That would account for the harshness and ill temper.
GREENWALD.
Would he be disinclined to admit to mistakes?
LUNDEEN.
Yes. Of course there's nothing unbalanced in that.
GREENWALD.
Would he be a perfectionist?
LUNDEEN.
Such a personality would be.
GREENWALD.
Suspicious of his subordinates? Inclined to hound them about small details?
LUNDEEN.
Any mistake of a subordinate is intolerable because it might endanger him.
GREENWALD.
Yet he will not admit mistakes when he makes them himself.
LUNDEEN.
You might say he revises reality in his own mind so that he comes out blameless.
GREENWALD.
Doctor, isn't distorting reality a symptom of mental illness?
LUNDEEN.
It's a question of degree. None of us wholly faces reality.
GREENWALD.
But doesn't the commander distort reality more than, say, you do?
LUNDEEN.
That's his weakness. Other people have other weaknesses. It's definitely not disabling.
GREENWALD.
If criticized from above, would he be inclined to think he was being unjustly persecuted?
LUNDEEN.
It's all one pattern, all stemming from one basic premise, that he must try to be perfect.
GREENWALD.
Would he be inclined to stubbornness?
LUNDEEN.
Well, you'll have a certain rigidity of personality in such an individual. The inner insecurity checks him from admitting that those who differ with him may be right.
GREENWALD (suddenly switching from the fumbling manner to clicking preciseness).
Doctor, you've testified that the following symptoms exist in the commander's behavior: rigidity of personality, feelings of persecution, unreasonable suspicion, withdrawal from reality, perfectionist anxiety, an unreal basic premise, and an obsessive sense of self-righteousness.
LUNDEEN (looking startled, then appreciably amused).
All mild, sir, all well compensated.
GREENWALD.
Yes, Doctor. Is there an inclusive psychiatric term--one label--for this syndrome?
LUNDEEN.
Syndrome? Who said anything about a syndrome? You're misusing a term. There's no syndrome, because there's no disease.
GREENWALD.
Thank you for the correction, Doctor. I'll rephrase it. Do the symptoms fall into a single pattern of neurotic disturbance--a common psychiatric class?
LUNDEEN.
I know what you're driving at, of course. It's a paranoid personality, but that is not a disabling affliction.
GREENWALD.
What kind of personality, Doctor?
LUNDEEN.
Paranoid.
GREENWALD.
Paranoid, Doctor?
LUNDEEN.
Yes, paranoid.
(GREENWALD glances at CHALLEE, then looks around slowly one by one at the faces of the Court Members. He starts back to his desk CHALLEE rises. GREENWALD shakes his head at CHALLEE, who sits, annoyed. A moment of silence. GREENWALD shuffles papers at his desk.)
GREENWALD.
Doctor, in a paranoid personality like Commander Queeg's--well, let me put this hypothetically. Could a man have a paranoid personality which would not disable him for any subordinate duties, but would disable him for command?
LUNDEEN (rather irritated).
It's conceivable.
GREENWALD.
Is the disabling factor likely to show up in personal interviews?
LUNDEEN.
With a skilled psychiatrist, yes.
GREENWALD.
Why is a psychiatrist needed, Doctor? Can an educated intelligent person, like myself, or the judge advocate, or the court, detect a paranoid?
LUNDEEN (sarcastically).
You evidently are not too well acquainted with the pattern. The distinguishing mark of this neurosis is extreme plausibility and a most convincing normal manner on the surface. Particularly in self-justification.
GREENWALD.
Thank you Doctor. No more questions.