Life is too short............soap box topic!!

[Overcomer]

Hello Friends.  I signed up for this board several years ago.  I lived in the entanglement of a controlling, narcissistic mother.  Many of you read my lamentings.  Many of you thought to yourselves, or said to me..........."quit complaining about it and DO something!!"

Since I have pretty well shaken off the N web and started to live my life by MY rules and no one elses, I was diagnosed with cancer and undergoing chemotherapy AND my precious father passed away suddenly.

No I am on a soap box.  My cancer is very aggressive and everything I have read about it is that it recurs quite often and with a vengence.  I will be very lucky if it doesn't take me down in the next 20 years.
 
So now I am on a soapbox!!!  I will NOT do anything I do not want to do.  I will travel.  I will eat healthy.  I will buy things I want.  I will NOT work with my mother.  I will only do what I want to do and nothing more and nothing less.

I control my life.  I watch people who complain and complain about their lives and really do nothing to change it.  Meanwhile I am in the fight of my life and I simply feel they are shortsighted and selfish.  Look........you are healthy.  You have a good job.  You live in a nice house.  Yeah, but I don't have enough money.  Well, then get a part time job.  Stop eating steak.  Don't do your recreational drugs.  Stop not living and LIVE!!!!!!!

[mudpuppy]

You sound like my wife kelly.

mud

[Izzy_*now*]

Hello OC

You Go, gal!
You are in for the fight of/for your life and you have to be all about you with a positive outlook and no negativity from anyone, anywhere.

“I will NOT do anything I do not want to do“.---and there is no need to. Time for complete assertiveness for your own good.

I am in a lesser fight and, too, have shaken the N web that surrounded me for all my years into my 60’s. When that web has been shaken and only we can call the shots for No Contact, then we can concentrate on self….something that was a long time coming.

(minor recent examples)
I have noticed for me, with this recent (6 months now) attack by a car, I am in my third level of pain. and still doing as I want to do and nothing else. The person running the show abut my life, my helpers, is consistently pulling my services, from her ideas of the time frames, not from hands on treatment of me, let alone seeing me. I am standing on my own, so to speak, and demanding she not cut the services and it’s working. I will not be bullied. (I am thinking that 6 months imust be appearing to be too long a time to be in pain.)

The daughter of a girl-friend emailed last week that she was coming to town with a couple of friends, and we could all go “out and play”. They were a no-show and I was disappointed to be let down. I let her know in an email about my disappointment in her and that I don’t like to deal with people who break promises. They arrived last night and she called, we’ll get together and neither of us angry, now that I spoke up.

The ever popular , Ken, who would tie me up in 2 hour phone calls, has been limited to less that 15 minutes, by me. He doesn’t have the courtesy to ask if it is a good time, so I tell him it is not a good time. So-and-so is coming and I need the phone to let them into the building. I say how I am and then good-bye.

Every time I assert  myself, for my own good, I feel better and better so less and less negativity comes into my life, and I now refuse to be stuck in the circle dealing with all the N-istic people…about which I learned just 7 years ago.

I want to live out my old age in peace, doing what I want to do and bowing to no one. I have no attachments/responsibilities and I find being alone, not lonely, is probably the way I was born, or made soon after.

So you said it gal. Assert yourself and be for YOU. It is paramount for your survival.

Much Love and Good Health
Izzy

[bearwithme]

YOU GO OVERCOMER!!!!! That's what it's all about, isn't it.  I need reminders of this.  THANK YOU!!!!!!

[Overcomer]

Everyone of us need to think.....if I was going to die....would the controlling N in my life have so much say or would I turn around and leave????

[sKePTiKal]

Life IS short. None of us know how much time we have... but it is always less that we thought. So we ought not to procrastinate or delay... living all that life has to offer... no matter how much it might frighten us (nor how entrenched old personality habits are).

And on that note:
I'm on the eve of looking to "retire" to the beach, full time... to live the life of a pirate princess. And the only thing I'm asking myself is: Why the hell NOT?

After all - who really cares? who does it impact? and do I REALLY have to make excuses for this?

I think not.

[teartracks]

Hi Kelly,

I wish you could bottle that attitude  .  I'd buy at least a gross for personal use and want a distributorship!

Love,

tt

[Overcomer]

Looking at death makes you realize that if you do not do it now you may not ever.......so do it now!!!

[Ami]

(((((Kelly))))))

I still have my feeling that you are gonna make it and be totally free, Kelly!                 xxxooo     Ami

[Izzy_*now*]

Looking at death makes you realize that if you do not do it now you may not ever.......so do it now!!!

Hey OC

Death has been on my mind for about the last 6 months. The pain was so bad, all I thought was--OK! nursing home and death. Well it didn't go that way, but then I realized I'd better change my Will, so have been in the process of making changes that will not be bothersome to anyone!---and this over a broken leg!? but I do see why 'elderly' people can be injured then die of pneumonia.

Now some people think I am nuts re the Will and others say it is so wise, that and a prepaid cremation. Then I asked my sister if she (they) had everything in order and she just turnd 69. she said "No", but one of her daughters  asked her to please get something done so they would know what to do.

As it all stands, when this new Will is finalized, I can die in peace!

Love
Izzy

[Overcomer]

I am going to hold on to that statement, Ami.  Please tell me more about your gut feeling.  Intuition.  Gift of discernment?  I want to hang my hat on something I feel is substantial...

Iz, you have so much spunk.  I have always admired you and your abilities through all of your stuff!!

Again, I just ask all of you to stop being stalled in your life and do something!!

[mudpuppy]

Looking at death makes you realize that if you do not do it now you may not ever.......so do it now!!!

Again kelly, just like something my wife would say.
I remember a year or so ago someone asked her if something or other wasn't difficult to deal with and she said "after you've been at death's door, everything else is easy".
Off to a car show before it gets too hot.
Take care.

mud

[Ami]

Dear Kelly
 I am not bragging about myself cuz it is a gift but I do have the gift of knowing the future. I have never been wrong when I get a feeling that hits my gut, in a certain way.
 I felt that about you when you first told of your cancer.Are you done with the chemo? I hope so.
 My son and friends  ask me about things that will happen b/c of my  track record.
 You will thrive and have a wonderful story to tell. You will inspire others in a way that only you can do!
                                    xxooo   Ami

[Overcomer]

One more round to go.  Dreading it so much.  But then nowhere to go but up.....thank you Ami.....I need the encouragement!

[Ami]

It sounds awful, Kelly. Is it just one day of it or a series ?                        Ami