I don't watch much television but I enjoy that feeling of calm and timelessness that comes from doing a painting or woodworking, with the stereo or Tv in the background. It gives me the feeling of being at home in my home. That sounds simple but it isn't something I grew up with. I think blaming yourself for zoning out in front of the TV is being a bit harsh.
Unless I am refusing to work on a specific feeling, I don't see anything good about spending a great deal of time trying to feel everything. I think life should be a balance of thinking, feeling and relaxing. I deal with a lot of parent induced anxiety that has been with me since childhood. It is like a constant background noise in my life. Did feeling it yesterday or the day before that make it better? In my case NO.
If I know I have something to learn from a particular feeling then I sit in silence with it until I figure it out. However, I find much of what I call "feeling" is really a habit of anxiety. I also find that I can overwhelm myself by taking on way too much in the feeling department. Often when I dwell on feelings I start beating up on myself. What I find I need more than anything is to turn down the negative voice any way I can. That gives life a chance to happen without it having to interrupt a pervasive "mood". A call from a friend "feels" a lot better when I have been relaxing in front of the TV than it does when if been dwelling for an hour on my "feelings" that tie me to the past.
I have given enough of my life to stress, fear and anxiety and attention doesn't make them better. For me, acting "as if "the world is okay, even if I am distracting myself, is a welcome relief from that N mom in my head that wants me to be hyper alert. The more I can zone out peacefully and come back to a world in which nothing bad has happened, the safer I feel with myself, my feelings and other people.
