I can't believe she did this

[Twoapenny]

Hi Mo2,

The police haven't contacted my sisters or me so I don't know what they're doing at the minute.  I was going to call them but my friend's daughter just died so I have put everything else out of my mind for the minute; I feel so sad for my friend and what she must be going through at the minute.  I'll let you know if anything else happens.

Thanks ((((((((())))))))))))))

[Ami]

Have you in my thoughts (((Twoapenny))))))                               xxoo Ami

[Twoapenny]

Ami, thank you.  Police have called today, they are horrendous!  Rang this morning to say she wanted to come out asap to do a retraction statement - the last time we spoke she was very keen for me not to retract so this was a complete turnaround and took me by suprise.  I was too busy to do it today but made an appointment with her next week; she said they were closing the case and it was best if I retracted it so it was on file that I didn't want it to go further rather than it looking like they chose not to investigate it.  She called back two hours later wanting addresses and phone numbers of my sisters so she can go interview them all as they reveiwed the case and decided to investigate it - but they still want me to go ahead with retractiing the statement?  None of that made any sense to me at all; I've absolutley no faith in them and plan to make a formal complaint.  It's like dealing with my mum!!  Completely ridiculous situation.

[BonesMS]

Ami, thank you.  Police have called today, they are horrendous!  Rang this morning to say she wanted to come out asap to do a retraction statement - the last time we spoke she was very keen for me not to retract so this was a complete turnaround and took me by suprise.  I was too busy to do it today but made an appointment with her next week; she said they were closing the case and it was best if I retracted it so it was on file that I didn't want it to go further rather than it looking like they chose not to investigate it.  She called back two hours later wanting addresses and phone numbers of my sisters so she can go interview them all as they reveiwed the case and decided to investigate it - but they still want me to go ahead with retractiing the statement?  None of that made any sense to me at all; I've absolutley no faith in them and plan to make a formal complaint.  It's like dealing with my mum!!  Completely ridiculous situation.

I would definitely speak with their superiors about the way they are mis-handling this case and you!

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Hi Bones, thanks I'm definitely going to, fortunately I have been writing it all down as we've gone along, I'm going to ask my sister and T to write as well, obviously it affects my sister too and her children (with regards to recrimination) and my therapist has been disgusted at the way it's been handled so I think letters from them as well would be good.  I'd accepted at the beginning that I couldn't control the outcome which I knew I would find hard but felt I could deal with, but they keep changing their minds about what they ought to do.  Retracting a statement just as they start an investigation seems to me to be ludicrous; what if one of my sisters confirmed what I said but refused to make a statement?  They've already got a retraction from me so they then know they've got a sex offender on their hands but no statements to go on?  How would that work.  It concerns me that there's something going on that I'm unaware of because what they're doing doesn't make any sense.  Story of my life!  Hey ho - feel pretty good despite it all so will concentrate on keeping my head up and all that   Thanks, B xx

[Hopalong]

It concerns me that there's something going on that I'm unaware of because what they're doing doesn't make any sense.

I agree.
I do not comprehend why the police would ask a victim to retract a statement.

Can you get a clear explanation of this?

Please talk to an attorney (check a women's shelter if you need low-cost advice) before you do that.

xo
Hops

[Twoapenny]

Hops, thanks for that, I got some advice this afternoon, much better than what the police have said so far, they've advised me to get set up to take out an injunction so that I can organise it quickly if I need to rather than waiting to see what happens and trying to sort something out in a hurry.  She didn't understand what the police are up to at the minute and no-one else I've spoken to does eiither; I spoke to a friend of a friend who is a solicitor and she was baffled as to what they're doing at the moment and said it was really odd.  I haven't heard from them today but basically it looks like they investigate regardless so why they want me to retract it I don't know, I guess I will find out!  Thanks xx

[lighter]

Honestly, I sometimes think it's easier for the police to blame and bully the victims, rather than deal with the offenders..... the path of least resistance and all that.

Don't think your case is the exception...... I'm pretty sure it's the rule: (

Perhaps you should have a face to face with the Investigator's supervisor, and bring your sister/s with you?

THEY HAVE A PICTURE OF THIS MAN EXPOSING HIMSELF TO A CHILD, for Pet's sake!!!!

((((twopenny and family)))))

God only knows what this man's done to children he's not related to: /

[Twoapenny]

Hi Mo2,

It feels like, because I didn't walk in there with him and a signed confession, it's too much effort.  I am going to put in a written complaint - I prefer that to face to face because I do lose my temper quite quickly and either yell or walk out, which never comes across well.  I talked it through with a lady from Rape Crisis (who was brilliant) but even she said it's the luck of the draw - sometimes you get a good one and sometimes they're not that interested.  You'd think they'd at least give them all a hard enough time that they'd think twice about doing anything again, but it seems that's not the case.

[lighter]

Can you request another investigator?

"Not bothering" with a child molestor seems wrong.

Very wrong.

[Twoapenny]

Have just received a call, they are going round there to interview entire family, will keep all updated.  Feeling very nervous now, just hoping things don't get too bad!  Eek!   Still feel like I'm doing something wrong, silly I know but it's hard to shake it off.  Thanks to all

[BonesMS]

Have just received a call, they are going round there to interview entire family, will keep all updated.  Feeling very nervous now, just hoping things don't get too bad!  Eek!   Still feel like I'm doing something wrong, silly I know but it's hard to shake it off.  Thanks to all

(((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm with you!  Standing up to a child molester is NEVER wrong!  He needs to ROT behind bars where he can NEVER harm another child EVER AGAIN!  And the NWomb-Donor who enabled him, essentially pimping her own children, needs to ROT behind bars too!

Bones

[Ami]

Have just received a call, they are going round there to interview entire family, will keep all updated.  Feeling very nervous now, just hoping things don't get too bad!  Eek!   Still feel like I'm doing something wrong, silly I know but it's hard to shake it off.  Thanks to all

WE always feel like we do something wrong cuz we were programmed that way from N's.  Trust yourself. That was the main thing that the N took from us! I am sending you courage !
                 xxxoo  Ami

[JudyK]

  Your NM is a real piece of work. I DO believe, however that they are ALL capable of this manipulation and attempt to control the situation. Being a spectrum disorder, N's will run the gamut, and I think YOUR NM is at the high end (aka "really crazy").  My NM has tried her manipulation and controlling ways all our lives. Some things we have just found out. My sister hooked up with an old schoolmate on facebook.  They were both in the choir in highschool. This girl told my sister she remembered our NM coming up to her, right beforea concert, and told this poor girl not to sing to loud so as to drown out my sister!  Here is this 14 year old, scared enough as it is, facing an audience, and then this woman comes up to her and says that?   My sister is 53, so, obviously, , for this schoolmate to remember this after all these years, it must have made quite an impact on her. Then, very recently, my NM told my sister that she had opened, read and then destroyed a letter that a boy had written sis. He was from out of state and NM was worried sis may fall in love with him, marry, and leave the state--in other words, leave NM.  At the time this occured, my sister was about 15!!!   
  It IS hard to believe the things they do.   Hugs, Judy

[Hopalong]

Tupp,

You're arguing with this thought in your head nice and firmly, calmly, assertively, I-am-an-adult-woman-who-had-the-absolute-human-right-to-make-this-strong-decision kind of way, right?

Still feel like I'm doing something wrong...

hugs

Hops