I can't believe she did this

[Twoapenny]

Why I am suprised/shocked/aghast I don't know but..........................two and a half years ago my mum reported me to social services for child abuse (towards my son).  It took me five months to prove she was lying and since then I have been working on the mammoth task of correcting all the information held about us by various agencies.  We've moved around a lot and my son's disabled so there are a lot of records held in a lot of places.

The thing that really shocked me about the child protection case was that two other professionals stated there was a history of child protection concerns and that I had serious mental health problems.  This was news to me, and I have spent the last two or so years trying to unravel the paper trail and find out where these came from.  I received a bundle that I've been waiting eighteen months for from the hospital my son was assessed at when he was four.  In it, there is a letter which clearly states that my mum informed the consultant that my son's 'disability' was down to my neglect because of my mental illness and that I was abusive and aggressive.  That's where it all started; the last four years of being treated like dirt, not being believed about my boy and worse than that, him not getting the help and support he needed, began with an allegation my mum made four years ago after we had a row.

I don't know why I'm so shocked by it, but suddenly all the pieces fell into place.  I thought these professionals just didn't like me or that they were prejudiced against single parents - but now I know that, before they met me, they'd all been told that my son's problems were my fault and they all believed it because the source was my mum - and a mum would only say that if it were true.

I'm gutted.  We've moved house three times trying to escape the child protection slurs and I've given up work to care for my son full time because we couldn't get any help from anyone - and now I know why.  The way I feel at the minute I'd like to pack my stuff and just move to a hut on some remote little island where no-one can get to me.

Sorry to go on, just need to get it off my chest.  That woman didn't deserve to have children.

[Ami]

Why I am suprised/shocked/aghast I don't know but..........................two and a half years ago my mum reported me to social services for child abuse (towards my son).  It took me five months to prove she was lying and since then I have been working on the mammoth task of correcting all the information held about us by various agencies.  We've moved around a lot and my son's disabled so there are a lot of records held in a lot of places.

The thing that really shocked me about the child protection case was that two other professionals stated there was a history of child protection concerns and that I had serious mental health problems.  This was news to me, and I have spent the last two or so years trying to unravel the paper trail and find out where these came from.  I received a bundle that I've been waiting eighteen months for from the hospital my son was assessed at when he was four.  In it, there is a letter which clearly states that my mum informed the consultant that my son's 'disability' was down to my neglect because of my mental illness and that I was abusive and aggressive.  That's where it all started; the last four years of being treated like dirt, not being believed about my boy and worse than that, him not getting the help and support he needed, began with an allegation my mum made four years ago after we had a row.

I don't know why I'm so shocked by it, but suddenly all the pieces fell into place.  I thought these professionals just didn't like me or that they were prejudiced against single parents - but now I know that, before they met me, they'd all been told that my son's problems were my fault and they all believed it because the source was my mum - and a mum would only say that if it were true.

I'm gutted.  We've moved house three times trying to escape the child protection slurs and I've given up work to care for my son full time because we couldn't get any help from anyone - and now I know why.  The way I feel at the minute I'd like to pack my stuff and just move to a hut on some remote little island where no-one can get to me.

Sorry to go on, just need to get it off my chest.  That woman didn't deserve to have children.

Don't feel sorry, (((((Twoapenny))))) That is horrible. I can't imagine the pain and betrayal you are going through. I am so very, very sorry you had to endure her as a mother.                                xxxooo  Ami

[Sealynx]

Twoapenny,
I would be so mad I'd be steaming. I would file a formal complaint with the agency that transmitted that data to other places unverified. You might even have a lawsuit. Your mother's psychiatric opinion of you is not valid. Its hearsay and if it appears anywhere as anything other than her opinion...the the agency who changed it from opinion to fact should be sued.

[cgm1028]

Hey Twoapenny!

Yes, I agree with Sealynx.  You may have legal resources at your disposal.  It can't hurt to check it out and have a consult with an attorney. 

All I can say is that you have my whole-hearted sympathy.  I cannot imagine the h*ll you went through and the worry until it was sorted. 

Frankly I know and its horrible to say, but had I not had DH, my NM would have pulled such a stunt.  But there'd be no way she could do so with my husband and his family behind me. 

You are in my thoughts and I am sending positive thoughts your way.

[Ales2]

Yes, I too agree with Sealnyx. Sometimes filing a lawsuit and presenting another side with supporting documents and expert opinions is all you need to get her to drop her charade.  Also, is there anyone at a mental health facility that can be contacted to evaluate her? If she is an undiagnosed N you might be able to get a court to order an evaluation for her. If shes harassed you this might another step to take.

About 20 years ago, a cousin of mine got a restraining order against his mother (my Aunt, an undiagnosed N) because she verbally assaulted his wife and showed up at their residence unannounced.

I know we are not supposed to invalidate one anothers feelings here on the board, but after all you've been through - you are only steamed?!  I'd be livid, pissed and whole bunch of other things I probably cant say on this board!!!! 

My best to you and your son. I hope you can straighten this out and go on to a peaceful life.

[Twoapenny]

Hi Ami, and thank you for your kind words - she's a monster who sat back and let her husband sexually abuse me which makes what she's done about my son even worse.  I really appreciate your kindness.

Hi S, I'm writing the first letter today.  The problem in the Uk is that the paperwork mountains you have to wade through are so immense that the workload quickly becomes huge.  I will get the ball rolling though.  I do need to speak to a solicitor more urgently, it's been on my to do list for ages but I haven't really got on with it just yet.  I just can't believe it, those people were all nasty to me and I thought they just didn't like me (sounds familliar!)  And now I know that they were all told I abused my son and was mentally ill before they met me and they all believed it.  What's worse is that no-one helped my boy, and now I can see why - they all believed what she told them.  Thank you for your support.

Hi CG, thanks for your message.  I'm glad you've got your hubby behind you, being single has made me such an easy target - and my boy couldn't speak until he was five because of his autism so he couldn't tell them what I was like at home either.  She really knows how to do a number!

Hi Ales, I probably will be all of those unmentionable things at some point - do you know what's ridiculous is that I'm still so scared of her that my immediate reaction is still to bury it and not react?  Crazy.  I have threatened her with a restraining order before and did email the sol last night when I found out about this. If I can get one this time I will.  I'm also wondering now if I've got enough for the police to do something with her (like send her to an island where she can't hurt anyone).  Will take stronger action this time.  I just can't believe my own mum would do this.  I couldn't do this to someone I didn't like, let alone someone I was supposed to love.  Thanks xx

[Lucky]

(((((Twoapenny))))), what your mother did is absolutely horrendous. What a terrible thing to do, awful. No wonder you feel awful and would love to take off to a little hut on a remote island.

[lighter]

Can you say....

Well documented case for Slander?

And.....

I'd want to  finda desserted island and look for Pirates too.

Distance and no forwarding address, for that one.

Mo2

[Ami]

JUst want to give you another hug (((((Twoapenny))))))                  xxoo  Ami

[BonesMS]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny)))))))))))))))))))))

I would be LIVID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

Bones

[Twoapenny]

Hi Everyone, and thanks for all of your kind words.  Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.......................................I'd done as much as I could re solicitors and complaints and am just waiting for other people to get back to me now.  I decided to start going through a huge box of photographs that have been sitting in the corner of the room for years to get pictures of my son being well looked after and played with etc, just to feel like I was doing something and to prove to myself what she said isn't true.  I came across a box that's been sat there for twenty or so years, flicked through pictures of me as a fourteen/fifteen year old girl - and a picture of my step-dad exposing himself to me during one of our 'fooling around' sessions that were so common in our wonderful family home.

Sorry to be so graphic but I vomited all over the floor when I saw it.  I am gonig to the police - I've had enough of feeling like a victim and I want someone else to fight my corner for me for a change.  Thank you to all of you for your support and kind words, it's really helped.  I'm going to have a bath and an early night and then contact the police in the morning - I'd like to see my parents start to take responsibility for their actions for a change.

Thank you everyone.

[Ami]

Dear Twoapenny
 I think you are doing the right thing with the police. The ONLY thing it sounds like your NM will understand is strength. I am sending thoughts of courage and fortitude in your journey.              xxxooo  Ami

[BonesMS]

Hi Everyone, and thanks for all of your kind words.  Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.......................................I'd done as much as I could re solicitors and complaints and am just waiting for other people to get back to me now.  I decided to start going through a huge box of photographs that have been sitting in the corner of the room for years to get pictures of my son being well looked after and played with etc, just to feel like I was doing something and to prove to myself what she said isn't true.  I came across a box that's been sat there for twenty or so years, flicked through pictures of me as a fourteen/fifteen year old girl - and a picture of my step-dad exposing himself to me during one of our 'fooling around' sessions that were so common in our wonderful family home.

Sorry to be so graphic but I vomited all over the floor when I saw it.  I am gonig to the police - I've had enough of feeling like a victim and I want someone else to fight my corner for me for a change.  Thank you to all of you for your support and kind words, it's really helped.  I'm going to have a bath and an early night and then contact the police in the morning - I'd like to see my parents start to take responsibility for their actions for a change.

Thank you everyone.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sending positive thoughts and strength to go with you when you go to the police!

Bones

[binks]

Twoapenny - My heart goes out to you. You are right to go to the police.

The evilness of it is astounding.

[lighter]

I hope shining the light of truth brings you closure and relief.

If nothing else, it's more documentation against all the lies and damage.

::Wiping twopennie's forehead::

Take care of yourself and do get that good nights rest.

We'll be holding your cyber hand in the morning.

Mo2