I can't believe she did this

[Twoapenny]

Hi Stay Tickling,

Welcome to the board and thanks for the hug!!  One back to you! ((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for name suggestion Bones i like the idea of something sparkly and precious! (((((((((((((((((((Bones))))))))))))))))))))

Hi M02,

This particular sis lives overseas so her children aren't around him, but the other sister has the same feeling toward me (ie I'm lying) and her children are there all the time - it worries me as well.  I've told my other sis to contact the police herself and ask them whether I have reported this before and whether I gave them a photo of her dad.  I don't think for one minute she will do it but I will tell the police  I have suggested she contact them and see what happens.

My mum knows all of it!  She has witnessed two assaults herself - very minor ones admittedly.  The whole situation in our house was  always very weird with him parading around naked and making lewd comments at all of us.  He's disgusting.  Quite honestly you could stand right in front of my mum and she'd still tell you she couldn't see you.

My boy is doing really well!  He's so happy and confident, I work hard with him and tell him I love him - it's doing the trick!!  Thanks for asking about him and for your advice - hugs to you ((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))

Ami, thank you!  I love that name!  Hugs to you (((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))

[lighter]

Twopenny:

I'm glad to read you and your son are in a better space.

It's so important to have a consistent, disciplined routine for your son.

When you began posting, there were some problems with that..... how did they resolve?

I remain concerned about your local sister's children, and continue praying your sf is prevented from harming others in the future.

Mo2

[Twoapenny]

Hi MO2,

I can't remember now what the situation was when I started posting so whatever was going on it must have got sorted out quickly!  I am speaking to the police today so will update if there's any news.

Twoapenny xx

[lighter]

I hope the officer you speak with, connects with this case and makes an effort to help.

Remember to remain calm, state the facts, let the policeperson come to their own logical conclusions, and don't ramble.

Short, on point, answers.

Perhaps have a list of questions ready.

Begin with phrases like..... "I've prepared some questions, do you mind if we address those at this time?"

Remember, these people want to help you, and they want good things for you.....

they're just overwhelmed and covered up.

Have a  Happy Thanksgiving twopenny.

[Hopalong]

Tupp.

I just LOVE it when the shame and fear and victim-reflexes are replaced by a calm, strong, truth-telling that exposes poisonous secrets to the light...

Just keep holding the truth out there. Eventually, you'll tell it to anyone and everyone who needs to hear it as matter-of-factly (because it IS just a matter of facts) and confidently as someone would say:

"Yes, I climbed in those mountains. There is an unstable rock face HERE (shows map) and you'll need to watch out for poison ivy HERE."

Period. You are just telling the truth about the terrain because you've seen it.

And there's nothing but confidence, wisdom, and strength about that.

Yahoo, woman.

Hops

[Twoapenny]

Hi Everybody,

I have spoken to the police today and they are not hopeful that they will be able to bring charges.  There isn't enough proof to get him to court so unless he confesses there is little else they can do.  My mother just drove past me with a huge grin on her face, waving as she went.  She knows they've got away with it and she thinks it's great.

The really funny thing is that none of that matters.  I feel so different - so much stronger, so much more confident and so much more together - that it's really not affecting me too badly.  It would have been nice if he'd been charged, obviously, but everyone I've told has believed me and the police have said they don't think he's innocent, they just can't prove it.

I have been getting through copies of our records and the only bad things in them have come from my mum.  She was waging a war against me for two years without me even knowing it.  I am taking the rest of the year off and will look into civil action against them next year.  I do have the photograph, which at the very least leaves them with some explaining to do, and all the evidence of my mum's malicious allegations against me over time.  But the best thing that has come out of this is that I just don't feel scared any more.  I've never felt like this in my life before and it's a really lovely feeling.

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and your support through all of this.

Twoapenny xxxxx

[lighter]

(((twopenny)))

Keep your eye on the important ball.....

your son.

I hope the civil action is a viable option.

::wishing you strength and relief from harm::.

Mo2

[Twoapenny]

The police have just been round here to tell me they're not even going to arrest him, let alone charge him, thanks to the wonderful alibis provided by my mum and sister.  They then informed me that my mum told them she has concerns about my son and proceeded to check my cupboards and fridge for food and my son's bedroom before asking questions about his home education provision (which was recently assessed by the local authority and declared to be of a very good standard).

To say I am disillusioned is something of an understatement.  Am off to do heavy housework to work the frustration out of my system!

[Ami]

The police have just been round here to tell me they're not even going to arrest him, let alone charge him, thanks to the wonderful alibis provided by my mum and sister.  They then informed me that my mum told them she has concerns about my son and proceeded to check my cupboards and fridge for food and my son's bedroom before asking questions about his home education provision (which was recently assessed by the local authority and declared to be of a very good standard).

To say I am disillusioned is something of an understatement.  Am off to do heavy housework to work the frustration out of my system!

Oh (((Twoapenny)))))

I am sorry it turned out like that. You sounds so sweet and compassionate. They didn't rob you of your inherent qualities even though having an NM wreaks havoc with your sense of self. You have inspired me !                               xxxooo   Ami

[BonesMS]

The police have just been round here to tell me they're not even going to arrest him, let alone charge him, thanks to the wonderful alibis provided by my mum and sister.  They then informed me that my mum told them she has concerns about my son and proceeded to check my cupboards and fridge for food and my son's bedroom before asking questions about his home education provision (which was recently assessed by the local authority and declared to be of a very good standard).

To say I am disillusioned is something of an understatement.  Am off to do heavy housework to work the frustration out of my system!

AND THOSE A$$-H***S ARE IGNORING THE PICTURE OF HIM EXPOSING HIMSELF TO A CHILD?!?!?!?!?!?!?  ALL BECAUSE THEY PREFER TO BE LAZY AND BROWN-NOSE THOSE TWO C***S?!?!?!?!?!?  DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   

AND THE FACT THAT THE C*** B*TCH IS STARTING UP HER CR*P ABOUT YOU ABUSING AND NEGLECTING YOUR SON?!?!?!?

IT'S TIME TO GO AHEAD WITH TAKING HER TO COURT GIVEN THAT SHE IS CLEARLY NOT GOING TO STOP IN THAT DEPARTMENT!!!!!!

DO I SOUND FRUSTRATED AND ANGRY?!?!?!?!?

H3LL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DAMN ALL OF THOSE A$$-H***S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bones

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Twoapenny]

Hi Ami, hugs to you ((((((((((()))))))))))  I am getting loads of support from friends and people are being really kind so I feel very lucky at the minute, plus my big sister is amazing and has been a rock throughout, as have all of you!  The good thing (I am always looking for the good things!) is that my feelings are in proportion to what is happening.  In the past I would often get very extreme reactions to certain events several days, or even weeks after they happened.  For example, a friend let me down one time - nothing major, but I was furious and felt hurt, angry, rejected etc etc to the point of wanting to be vile to her (I wasn't, but I really wanted to), and my reaction was out of proportion to what had actually happened.  I think I've had so much built up stuff inside me that it was like a little volcano going off over the slightest thing.  This has happened today and I am angry about it and feeling fed up, but in proportion to what has happened - I'm getting on with my day as normal, I've phoned friends and they've been supportive (in the past I would lock it up and not talk about it), so I think some good work has been done and I'm reacting in a normal, healthy manner, which is good!  So whilst the police have been rubbish I personally have dealt with a huge fear in my life, faced it head on and come out the other side which is a good thing and very positive.  Hugs to you and thank you so much for your kind words xxxxx

Bones, it's lucky there is a star key on the keyboard to beep out the swear words!!  I know what you mean, I have been really unimpressed with their attitude and the way they've handled the case, I feel the least they should have done is arrest him and give him a good grilling and scare the bejesus out of my mum, but it seems they've just had a little chat and that's that.  I will move ahead with court action; there is definitely proof that she's lied repeatedly about other things - the best thing is everyone else who knows them believes me and most have said they're not suprised, so it's really helped me have confidence in my own memories and experiences.  But I share your anger and your frustration; the irony of them checking my fridge when they've not even questioned my step-dad is not lost on me!  I also have a very untidy house because I spend my day with my boy and not tidying up; my mum, by contrast, is obsessive about housekeeping, yet I know of the two people think better of her because her house is clean and tidy and mine is covered in glitter and bits of straw!  Thank you for your support and your anger on my behalf, it's nice to know some people think what he did was wrong!!  Hugs to you (((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))

[BonesMS]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((TwoAPenny))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones

[lighter]

I am soooo sorry that happened to you.

Perhaps there will come a day when you face that woman in court....

and she's exposed for all the world to see.

Perhaps that same court can provide some relief, for you and your son.

Document, document, document.

(((twopenny)))

Oh geez.

To be fair, the police don't know who to believe.

Your mother's masterful at redirection and smoke screens.

Thank God your big sister's standing beside you.  That's so important.

Mo2

[Twoapenny]

Hugs back to you, Bones! ((((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))

Hi MO2 (I feel like calling you Mom!!).  I'm trying to take the higher ground on this from a personal perspective and focus on me and my boy, me and my boy, me and my boy.  If my mum is exposed that would be a real bonus but I'm trying to look on it as the icing on the cake rather than investing too much time and energy into trying to make it happen, if that makes sense?  I don't mean I'm letting it go, but concentrating on myself and my boy and only working on the court stuff when I have time to.  I don't know if this is the right way to go about it but it feels right at the minute.  The upside is that no-one around here (I live very near my parents) believes my mum or swallows the nonsense she talks; people laugh at her behind her back and call her a nutter.  I've had lots of messages from friends over the last couple of days all on my side and I know for a fact the only people who 'believe' my step-dad are those who have a vested interest (ie financial) and stand to lose out if they speak up.  So personally it has been a triumph, but I must say I feel the system is massively stacked in favour of the abusers which I find astonishing - but you live and learn!

Thanks to all for your support, as always xxxxx

[Bettyanne]

Hi Twoapenny,
I am so so sorry for what you have been through, and hope someday you can set the record straight.  You might remember me from NGE that I had a retarded brother and my NM would do anything not to deal with him or me, she left us in the hands of her elderly mother.  When my grandmother was 75 years old she fell carrying my brother (he never walked or talked) and broke her hip, I just can't even imagine leaving the care of this child in an older persons  hands and just getting herself out the door to work.........her priorities came first which was herself.
Please know you have our support and validation.........
Hugs,
Bettyanne