Why Isn't My M Returning My E mail--Do You Think?

[Ami]

My M wrote me an e mail that she loved me and wanted to be there for me and that she has changed.
I wrote back from my heart that I really, really , really loved her cuz I do. She is my M and I will always love her. Maybe, this is cuz I am sick or not enlightened. I don't know but I feel that I will love her.

Anyway, I wrote back over a week ago and she never responded. My friend said it was cuz she does not care. She got me "back" and that was all . She does not care about me, at all.
 
I still can't see her straight so would appreciate your input cuz you know about N's, unfortunately, and my M is a true NPD.
Thanks for any help.      xxxoo  Ami

[BonesMS]

Hi, Ami.

It sounds like once she got her Narcissistic Supply for the moment, she went back to treating you like a toy that she's now bored with.     NOT FUN!!!!

Bones

[Ami]

Thanks Bones. That is  what my friend said. My friend said that it is too painful for me to see and I really can't SEE it in a real way. It really IS too painful, Bones.                        Ami

[Redhead Erin]

I try not to wonder about it any more.  Why the hell do they do ANYTHING? Like the old beer commercial--why ask why? 

It's like Alice down the rabbit-hole in their worlds.  everything is distorted and bizarre, with no sense or meaning. 

Try not to take it personally.  This is a manifestation of her disease, not yours.

[Ami]

Thanks( ((Erin)). When I woke up today, I   realized  *I* was not the bad or sick one. I got sick cuz I had to live in the bottom of the rabbit hole for so long, morphing and morphing so I would not have to see her and perhaps lose my mind, totally
         xxoo Ami

[seasons]

My M wrote me an e mail that she loved me and wanted to be there for me and that she has changed.
I wrote back from my heart that I really, really , really loved her cuz I do. She is my M and I will always love her. Maybe, this is cuz I am sick or not enlightened. I don't know but I feel that I will love her.

Anyway, I wrote back over a week ago and she never responded. My friend said it was cuz she does not care. She got me "back" and that was all . She does not care about me, at all.
 
I still can't see her straight so would appreciate your input cuz you know about N's, unfortunately, and my M is a true NPD.
Thanks for any help.      xxxoo  Ami

((Ami)),

Sadly I believe email is an "evil tool" for them to use.

Waiting.................

Wondering.............

Feeling left vulnerable..............

I might be wrong but I think you NM will reply back, but when you least expect it. She is in control now....of the SICK game.

Ami- have to run. Will be back soon. I believe this is a very importantant thread.

Hang on to your friends, we love and care. seasons xo

[Ami]

Thank you((((Seasons))) You are such an encourager. I know that is one of your gifts. It is beautiful that God gave you that special gift. Do you see that in yourself?                      xxoo  Ami

[Redhead Erin]

(((Ami))

Of course you are not sick or bad. You were just a little girl who happened to get caught up in a horrible mess. 

You are not defined by the stuff that happens to you. 

Hang in there.

[BonesMS]

Thanks Bones. That is  what my friend said. My friend said that it is too painful for me to see and I really can't SEE it in a real way. It really IS too painful, Bones.                        Ami

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones

[Ami]

(((Ami))

Of course you are not sick or bad. You were just a little girl who happened to get caught up in a horrible mess. 

You are not defined by the stuff that happens to you. 

Hang in there.

Thank you Erin. Your presence is giving me hope!                 xxoo  Ami

[Ami]

Thanks Bones. That is  what my friend said. My friend said that it is too painful for me to see and I really can't SEE it in a real way. It really IS too painful, Bones.                        Ami

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Ami)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Bones

Thank you for that beautiful, big hug, Bonesie!!                                                        xxo Ami

[Gabben]

Hi (((Ami))),

You love your mom because you have a good heart, you can accept her as who she is, a child of God. Your love of your mom is your virtue. We get a lot of mixed messages when healing our old wounds from Childhood. Just because our parents hurt us, sometimes terribly, does not mean that we cannot still show them mercy, kindness and even compassion, and even sometimes deeply wish them to love us in return.

Until you hear from your mom, all you can do is speculate as to why she did not return your email and embrace the doubts and feelings that come up for you around her delay or nonresponse.

Lise

[Ami]

Hi (((Ami))),

You love your mom because you have a good heart, you can accept her as who she is, a child of God. Your love of your mom is your virtue. We get a lot of mixed messages when healing our old wounds from Childhood. Just because our parents hurt us, sometimes terribly, does not mean that we cannot still show them mercy, kindness and even compassion, and even sometimes deeply wish them to love us in return.

Until you hear from your mom, all you can do is speculate as to why she did not return your email and embrace the doubts and feelings that come up for you around her delay or nonresponse.

Lise

Thanks for the hug,Lise and the warm words. It really helps!        xxxoo  Ami

[sKePTiKal]

Ami:

your experience has reminded me of something -

there is healing, comfort, solace, and peace in your own loving... even if it is not returned. Conditioning "love" on mutuality - the return package of love - isn't really necessary.  There is also freedom - autonomy - in this.

Just like you don't have to sacrifice all your boundaries or self-respect for love, your love doesn't have to be contingent on someone elses' love back.

[Ami]

Ami:

your experience has reminded me of something -

there is healing, comfort, solace, and peace in your own loving... even if it is not returned. Conditioning "love" on mutuality - the return package of love - isn't really necessary.  There is also freedom - autonomy - in this.

Just like you don't have to sacrifice all your boundaries or self-respect for love, your love doesn't have to be contingent on someone elses' love back.

Thank you ,Amber. I feel that way. *I* want to love cuz I have it within .                                Ami