Scarlet Woman

[teartracks]

Anyone been one?  Anyone had one to deal with one in your family or circle of friends/family?  What was it like?

tt

[CB123]

Hmmm.  That's an interesting question...

How are you defining "scarlet woman"?

CB

[teartracks]

Hi CB,  

(For the purposes of this thread, I think of community as the people with whom you are in regular contact socially or at work).
I guess I'm thinking more in terms of being or being perceived as a mistress or indiscreet woman.

1)  Have you ever felt like you were viewed  by someone in your community or the community at large as, 'the scarlet woman'.

2)  In your community (same definition) have you labeled yourself as, 'the scarlet woman' even though no one else has?

tt




 

[Nonameanymore]

TT yes! What an interesting point.
Unfortunately - and although I have never done such a thing - women tend to think of me not so much as someone's mistress but that I am the type of person who steals boyfriends. I don't know what it is in me that made them think so and it always felt really hurtful. I mention in a thread that I had a fight with my best friend of 15 years and the reason was something within this context - a common friend 11 years ago, had a boyfriend who was messing around with her and one of the nasty things he did to her was to ask her to ask me if I would have sex with him. The worst part is that she was so in love with him, she actually called me and asked if I would. Anyway, we sort of lost contact while she is still friends with my best friend. Once I got back to Greece, we sort of reconnected and the fact that she is married to the guy now, didn't make me want to discuss it any less with her because it was highly insulting. My other friend forbid me to say anything about it because they are now married and claimed that I lost my right to say anything since I didn't actually ask to discuss it on the spot, then I said it's important to me that I see what it is that made her think that I would do such a thing, and that I have to live by my moral code, not hers. Anyway, maybe I am off track now, but I appreciate the opportunity to discuss it here.

In a way I have been a scarlet woman in some women's minds...

P.

[teartracks]

Hi Persephone,

the fact that she is married to the guy now

I hope they have a long, happy married life.

Since starting this thread, I've wondered if there is such a thing as a Scarlet Man and what the proper name for him would be?

Anybody know?

It seems not to be much of an issue in today's culture(s), but it sure was back in the day, especially the scarlet woman.

tt

[HeartofPilgrimage]

I think the male equivalent of a Scarlet Woman in our society is Stud. Just like if a man seduces an under-age girl (assuming he gets caught) he is a pedophile, but if a woman seduces an under-age boy, he "got lucky." I'm being cynical of course, but I'm at a very cynical place right now.

[sKePTiKal]

tt:

I wanted to ask if perhaps there's a question behind your question...

[debkor]

Hey TT,

No I have never though of the other women (the discreet) as scarlet.  There are so many *parts to the whole big picture*.

The *scarlet woman* seems to me to be .....The one who preys ....and that could be very true and could be very untrue..

Now this (like CB) wrote but not exclusive seems to be the label by Women.......especially if you are the one who is the *wife*.

In modern day times...ho, slut, whore..  Yes they intrude on other peoples marriage and step in where they do not belong BUT the man steps OUT. 

So if this is to be true....Then the man is the one who Prey's also.  So what's he?

I'm not talking about *mistakes* where things do happen and releationships can be resolved...

I think the Long Term Rellationship is what you are talknig about, correct?   Like I said ...there is a whole big picture...and the wife is the last one to find out. 

Now Yes I have had a friend (who does prey) and the b/f did prey.. neither of them wanted a committment and on both parts there was money, sex involved.  Either of them would give it up.  He would not give up a long term marriage (or it would be a walk to the bank and lose half) and she didn't mind just seeing him when she seen him and it was probably more safe for her then someone available because she didn't have to deal with committment. 

IIMPO...I hold the man who I am committed to and back Accountable for actions.  It was choice.  The woman they step out of thier commitment to you did not Make them Do It.  They made that choice.

And when I was married to ex-h not sure at the time if it was true many years later (with no contact of him) a letter came to my M's house looking for him (child support) with another woman (while I was married to him).  I felt sorry for her.

So yes it was true but what I am sure of is that he prey'd upon her as he did everyone.

I think that it's a lot deeper then *scarlet woman*  and I guess either way.. male or female...who does what, when, how,.....probably really has to do with issues ....like N, perfect Co, ect.....As I once had been attracted to this very same man as this poor girl had been.

So I don't like to think in those terms for there is much more to the story.  Yes the first thoughts out of anger would have been to me..That slut that ho, Whore....trying to deal with my emotions....which really I would have felt that way about him...

And I wonder why (we do that).  Is it a female thing?  Females are not supposed to betray other females? 

I know for sure if back then I knew (without many years inbetween) I would have been Livid (with the female) cause I am female and would have felt insecure with (myself as female) and did the....whats wrong with me....NOTHING...there was something wrong with him (maybe her) but that was really not my focus (which I would have been focused on) know what I mean?

Love
Deb

[Portia]

Scarlet woman...hmmmm.
There was a woman who lived locally, who asked one of my neighbours for £20 for something or other, and when he said no (she wasn't known to us at the time) offered him oral sex for the cash. In the middle of the day, at his door, with his partner indoors. She was a drug addict, it turned out and turning tricks from her flat. Indiscreet? Sad? Scarlet?

If you drive down the N11 from Figueres towards Barcelona, you'll see woman sitting on fold-up stools, by the edge of the road, alone, waiting for men to pick them up. And men do pick them up.

Not sure where there are men sitting by the side of roads, waiting for women to pick them up. But hey, let me know if you know.

Sex. Humans are obsessed with it. Anyway, the question was....and the answer is:

Have I been viewed as the SW? I very much doubt it. The idea is a bit laughable for me. I'd have to get me a feather boa or something.

Have I viewed myself as the SW? No. I don't view the local woman as one either.

Nice topic!

[Izzy_*now*]

This was always my view of a Scarlet woman...one who was denounced to the world and scared the hell out of me age 11
-----
In 1949, Bergman met Italian director Roberto Rossellini in order to make the film Stromboli (1950), after having been a fan of two of his previous films that she had seen while in the United States. During the making of this movie, she fell in love with him and became pregnant with a son, Renato Roberto Giusto Giuseppe ("Robin") Rossellini (born 2 February 1950).

The pregnancy caused a huge scandal in the United States. It even led to Bergman being denounced on the floor of the U.S. Senate by Edwin C. Johnson, a Democratic senator from Colorado, who referred to her as "a horrible example of womanhood and a powerful influence for evil." As a result of the scandal, Bergman returned to Italy, leaving her husband and daughter, which led to a publicized divorce and custody battle for their daughter.
===
With her starring role in 1956's Anastasia, Bergman made a triumphant return to the American screen and won the Academy Award for Best Actress for a second time. The award was accepted for her by her friend Cary Grant. Bergman would not make her first post-scandal public appearance in Hollywood until the 1958 Academy Awards, when she was the presenter of the Academy Award for Best Picture. Furthermore, after being introduced by Cary Grant and walking out on stage to present, she was given a standing ovation.
===
I felt sorry for her and then happy about her return, and had enjoyed all her movies. This was imprinted on my memory, and caused my need to have people imagine that Joe and I were married.  It would have remained such if my N-sister hadn't blabbed the truth to everyone who knew me, and I felt like a Scarlet woman, yet no one but said sister, ever said or did anything to make me feel like an outcast. In the long run I believe I was more embarrassed about 'living a lie'.

Izzy

More than anyone else ever in life, Susan Boyle has inspired me, and I expect she did it without a Voicelessness Forum, being she still has no computer.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1224966/Fame-like-steam-roller-flattened-Susan-Boyle-breakdown--s-determined-won-t-happen-again.html

[teartracks]

Hi,

Commenting on my own question.  I think I was labeled 'the scarlet woman' once.   It was a small town.  My ex propagated the rumor and gathered a posse of cronies, male and female who were more than happy to stir the pot.  Through it all, I never accepted the label.  End of story.

tt