Hi Ales,
I really can't add much to what others have said about the situation with your brother.
I come from a dysfunctional FOO. My brother and sister are both younger than me. My sister and I have been NC for many years. I have a relationship with my brother but it isn't one where we discuss the dysfunction in our family. He seems to recognize that we (the family) were dysfunctional, but brushes it aside as if it had no effect on him. Sure, I see some of the effect it had on him only because I spent 7 years examining it all, but if he can live with it, so be it! I guess it's a form of detachment. Anyway, when we skim the edges of the dysfunction, he says things like, I don't know how three people from the same gene pool could grow up so similarly and only one of them be right about what really happened in the family. Of course, he's the ONE! And he's joking. The bigger point is that without saying it outright, he's made it clear that he doesn't want to get caught up in anything but surface things where discussion of family is concerned. Over the years, it would have been nice to have him come along side of me and give support through the hellishness of my experience. That he didn't hasn't diminished my respect for him. He took a shortcut, I took 7 years to get basically the same answer, which is, yes our family was dysfunctional, but our hands are tied where changing the past is concerned. I've had to respect his boundaries as to his willingness to discuss how we were raised. He seems to respect my perspective. I expect that's about as good as it's going to get. This probably doesn't help, but just in case...
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