performance review -- surprise! (not)

[Sealynx]

Apparently in our case it was at first to see who lacked certain qualifications so they could be reduced in salary and then they realized they had thrown away all the resumes and could not prove why they hired anyone. Basically they hired a hatchet man at 120K and since he really doesn't have much to do they are digging up these things.

[Nonameanymore]

Who ever is pissed off at their bosses/jobs etc, may I recommend you watch an independent comedy called 'Office Space'?

It's a classic and it will definitely cheer you up!

P

[Gaining Strength]

Hops - you deserve better and he does not deserve you at all.  Here's to a fantastic career shift for you in 2010!  It's your turn!

[bearwithme]

Hops, I can't wait until you leave that pit of a boss.  He's just unworthy.  Unworthy of all of it.  The review you received is nothing but a paper crutch that won't hold his weight, or even yours.

Cream rises to the top.




"First they ignore you.  Then they laugh at you.  Then they fight you.  Then you win."   (Mahatma Ghandi)

Bear

[HeartofPilgrimage]

Hi Hopalong,

I'm sorry that you are in a situation where you have (even for the moment) to tolerate such nonsense. Here's pulling for you, in finding a place that will appreciate you!

[gjazz]

Sorry to hear this, Hops.  A single owner who is also in charge day to day may never learn or change.  I know because this description fits my NF to a tee--he treats his employees with contempt because he has no respect for anyone but himself.  I once had a problem at work and told him how I'd chosen to handle it and he called me a "stupid clerk."  OK, well, there you go.  I happened not to be a clerk, so when I called him on it he told me he was just using an example, he wasn't really calling ME that.  Sigh.  Of course he was.  This is how these people operate--I often ask myself, when questioning if someone is an N, if I can point to ANYONE whose life is better simply as a result of knowing them.

On the other hand, I did work with a man who received a review like yours.  It was unbelievable, untrue and totally unfair.  He was one of their most valuable employees--the problem was that there were two middle managers who had it in for him for some sophomoric and asinine reason, and the owner wasn't paying attention.  In this case, the owner came to me (after my co-worker found another, better job and quit) and asked for the truth, and I gave it to him with both barrels.  Unfortunately I realize you are dealing with the owner, so... 

I hope you'll let us know when you WALK because we'll all celebrate with you.

[Hopalong]

PR, TT, Beth, Bear, Sealynx, Pilgrim, Persephone, GS, Gjazz...
thank you all. I hope I didn't skip anybody.

It really was such a comfort to come here and spill it out!

A small business, run by an N, is really just like an Nfamily.

The "gift within the problem" is that I do know what I'm dealing with. And I'm not a helpless child.

I've been rehearsing Medium Chill, while doing my best to find another post.
I know, eventually, I will. And that will be One Sweet Day.

Unlike with my mother, with this boss I feel as though I'll actually walk free when I walk.

Meanwhile, what a help and comfort to have you all to talk to!

Thank you for all the understanding and validation.

It's worth so so so much!

love to all,

Hops

[Ales2]

Hops - Check out a book called BULLIES AT WORK by Dr. Gary Namie.  You might be able to recognize your boss there and he has advice to dealing with precisely this issue.
If he were simply not able to give you a raise, he would simply say "NO" or "NOT THIS TIME".  But if he tells you that your performance is below par when you know its not -he is scapegoating you - then he's very likely a BULLY and, possibly an N.  Either way, thats a bad situation.

Also, Sealnyx - use some caution when submitting that resume, that has the potential to be a very clever ploy for them to decide that your experience is "not suitable" for the "new" direction that school needs, hence, they let you go and you are without recourse, even when your work/performance and credentials are fine.  They may also be looking for anyone who has inflated their credentials.

Good luck to you both!!

[Hopalong]

he's very likely a BULLY and, possibly an N.  Either way, thats a bad situation

.

Thanks for the book suggestion, Ales, I'll check it out.

Oh he is definitely NPD. Somatic narcissist, I'd call him, as well (his view of his own intelligence is pretty inflated...)

The bullying is very subtle, but the scapegoating's become obvious to all.

He's extremely afraid of women deep down. I challenge him in ways he can't bear.

I think I mentioned he lived in an ashram for 20 years, doing whatever the guru ordered (at some points crawling across the floor to kiss the guru's feet). He was a "renunciate" for 7 years, including 5 years of his marriage (I don't think his wife had a choice, because Nboss was ambitious...). When he left after a big sex scandal (about the guru) he became incredibly self-righteous. He's a trustee for a big lawsuit against the guru. He was the ashram's bookkeeper and knew where a lot of the money went. He refers to himself as "enlightened" and orders us to meditate at business retreats, say Ohhhmmmm, etc., never asking if we'd like to participate. He is a mini-guru-Me.

Bleahhh.

Anyhow, after he attacks, he coos and gushes and tries to get my approval/attention again. It's absolutely transparent, so ... I more or less am fine with Medium Chill.

Just don't like the man.

One relief in recent months is that one very decent coworker has been acknowledging aloud to me in private that he sees what's going on. Just that crumb of validation has eased the pain a lot.

And plotting to get a new job is the best antidote ever!

hugs
Hops