Career choice and being damaged by a N parent

[Lucky]

I looked up 'schizoid dilemma' with Google and found this article:
http://www.integrativetherapy.com/en/articles.php?id=44  
For a very long time I have been a split person but recently I get the feeling I am more and more becoming an integrated person.
Five years ago I started living together with my partner, I had never been in a good relationship before and had lived on my own for ten years. I think finally finding a partner I can be myself with has helped me a lot to start feeling better, also about myself.

Later I also found this article: http://www.integrativetherapy.com/en/articles.php?id=45

Do others here recognize that the moment you find a loving, supportive partner, you had a mental breakdown/severe anxiety/depression but after that you started healing? Like first you have to start feeling even worse then you did before but needing to feel that way to start recovery?

Now at age forty I feel as if I am finally going to live a life, my own life. No longer dominated by narcissism and the damage thereof.

[river]

Goodness, but you did your  homework there : )   
Im part way thro the first aticle, and in a way, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry about what using the word 'schizoid' brings up.   I dont really mean any of this by it.   I find the reading I've been doing has lead me to such different conclusions. 

  Defenses: In working with the schizoid’s defenses, the goal is for the client and therapist to discover the function of the defensive process and to move through the defenses to the repressed and hidden elements of the vulnerable self.

.For instance, ....... as I understand it, the approach Ive been following centres on 'support for the Real Self', and 'Self Activation'.   This includes ones adventurous core, ones ability to love, ones being positive about meeting challenges.   All of which you seem to have a healthy amount of going on.   

Thanks for posint the articles, I'll get back and read the rest, some interesting bits in. 

[Lucky]

I am rather introverted (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion) and always thinking. Would Human Resources be a good career choice? I am afraid that I am too avoidant. But since I started reading about narcissism I have become interested in psychology. And psychology is something you have to learn about as a HR manager.

[BonesMS]

I am rather introverted (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion) and always thinking. Would Human Resources be a good career choice? I am afraid that I am too avoidant. But since I started reading about narcissism I have become interested in psychology. And psychology is something you have to learn about as a HR manager.

Psychology is good and will DEFINITELY give you some insights into the human mind when working with people!  One specialization that I am aware of is Industrial/Organizational Psychology.  Can't hurt to check that out to see what appeals to you there.

Bones

[Ami]

(((((Lucky)))) !             Ami

[Lucky]

I am rather introverted (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion) and always thinking. Would Human Resources be a good career choice? I am afraid that I am too avoidant. But since I started reading about narcissism I have become interested in psychology. And psychology is something you have to learn about as a HR manager.

Psychology is good and will DEFINITELY give you some insights into the human mind when working with people!  One specialization that I am aware of is Industrial/Organizational Psychology.  Can't hurt to check that out to see what appeals to you there.

Bones

Bones thank you for mentioning that, I have read about it and it sounds interesting.
However I am still also thinking about something that involves economics. In the Netherlands we have an education that combines management, economics and law that also sounds interesting. 

[BonesMS]

I am rather introverted (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extraversion_and_introversion) and always thinking. Would Human Resources be a good career choice? I am afraid that I am too avoidant. But since I started reading about narcissism I have become interested in psychology. And psychology is something you have to learn about as a HR manager.

Psychology is good and will DEFINITELY give you some insights into the human mind when working with people!  One specialization that I am aware of is Industrial/Organizational Psychology.  Can't hurt to check that out to see what appeals to you there.

Bones

Bones thank you for mentioning that, I have read about it and it sounds interesting.
However I am still also thinking about something that involves economics. In the Netherlands we have an education that combines management, economics and law that also sounds interesting. 

You're welcome, Lucky!

The combinations sound good too!

Bones

[Lucky]

Thank you CB123 for taking the time to write me such a long reply and your personal experience.
It is very hard to know the difference between the part that is really me and the part that is the damaged, wounded me. For all victims of a N it is very difficult to get rid of the insecurity, the self doubt, the hypervigilance, the mistrust, the angst and to estimate how much of it one can get rid of. I suffered a second burn out in 2006 at the age of 36, the first one I suffered at the age of around 25. I have been working fulltime for twenty years now and since the last burnout in 2006 I finally have the feeling that I am getting more relaxed, less depressed and that I am getting more self confident. Reading your story it does give me a boost not to be too afraid and only choose for safety and the easy way. But on the other hand I still have the dreadful period of the nervous breakdown and all that proceded it and the aftermath in the back of my head.
It is so difficult to estimate up front how things will turn out if I give them a try. And I am afraid that I am still not healthy enough yet to really know what would suit me best and having the courage to do something daring. I still have problems with feeling my feelings but it is getting better.