Such an incredible string of comments. All of you touched me with your own experiences. The dentist who thinks they are wonderful. The neighbor who suffered along with you yet nobody knew of the children's pain. "those that deceive are just losing out on the truth". LOVE this comment. After I discovered narcissism and found my own truth, what a freeing moment in my life. I no longer had to live the lie. I learned it was okay to tell the truth.
"The truth shall set you free."
These were good comments. It has been one of the helpful tools in healing past and present N abuse is hearing and sharing the pains with others. The twisted way that N's twist reality is so very damaging, especially for those of us who love truth, even the truth of our own ugly or N traits.
Logy,
"After I discovered narcissism and found my own truth, what a freeing moment in my life. I no longer had to live the lie. I learned it was okay to tell the truth."I felt as though I could have wrote this. It was over 20 years ago that I awoke to my very dark side that seemed to take over me and my ways into habitual deceitful behavior. I was only 22, just a new young adult in this world, I do not recall when I started my deceit, it seemed to grow bigger and more as I just kept running from my past life of unhealing and unspoken pain of abuse from an N mom. Although I had therapy, I had yet to really get into my heart, sink into the pain that was way too much. I found it safer to live in my mind, my head; my heart, full of pain and lies from N abuse childhood, started to overtake my mind, as if all the lies of childhood were beginning to take over as I was being taken over by them.
When I awoke to my Nism, my lies, I found myself reaching out to a teacher at college. He was my economics professor, a class that I was really struggling in. He used to pound his fists on his desk in his lectures asking "who is lost?" Who is lying? Who is lost and lying?" When I awoke to my deceit I heard his voice in my head, I knew that I was lost and lying and not just about the subject of Economics!
When I met with him to tell him that I could barely keep my head on, needing to drop out, as painful memories were just coming up and up, he told me that I was lucky, he said that I had something very powerful happen to me and that I had no idea what he was really talking about in terms of how blessed and fortunate I was to have taken the truth about my lies and become truth. He said that one day, years later I would come to realize that if I had not seized that opportunity to turn my head and heart around to righteousness that I would have had to go through perhaps the rest of my life maligning people and being the loser in terms of truth.
He was right, now, over 20 years later I am so very grateful to have had the chance to NOT become a N, to be a person of integrity and authenticity. I am so grateful to have not spent the last 20 years of my life getting worse, as N's do, rather than getting better. Although still human and still capable of error and mistakes, selfishness and fears, I have faith and courageous. Today, I strive for honesty, even if I am to shade the truth in a small way I am like the
princess and the pea, I will not be at ease or at peace inside.
(((Seasons))), it looks like your thread has been taken over by a very engaging topic you brought up. Sorry
Gabben
