No, swimmer, you don't have to explain. In fact, I think you have the right to NOT explain. And furthermore, you don't even have to explain why you don't want to explain!
Your question moved me to post this "Personal Bill of Rights for Adult Children," originally written for Adult Children of Alcoholics (can be found here:
http://acainnerpeace.ncf.ca/billofri.htm). I've found it really helpful when I need to remind myself of the things I really do have a right to, rights most people take for granted. I've modified it a bit here (took out the references to alcohol) for you.
Personal Bill of Rights for Adult ChildrenI have a right to all those good times that I have longed for all these years and didn’t get.
I have a right to joy in this life, right here, right now — not just a momentary rush of euphoria but something more substantive.
I have a right to relax and have fun in a nondestructive way.
I have a right to actively pursue people, places, and situations that will help me in achieving a good life.
I have the right to say no whenever I feel something is not safe or I am not ready.
I have a right to not participate in either the active or passive “crazy-making” behavior of parents, of siblings, and of others.
I have a right to take calculated risks and to experiment with new strategies.
I have a right to change my tune, my strategy, and my funny equations.
I have a right to “mess up”; to make mistakes, to “blow it”, to disappoint myself, and to fall short of the mark.
I have a right to leave the company of people who deliberately or inadvertently put me down, lay a guilt trip on me, manipulate or humiliate me, including my <narcissistic> parent, my <CoN> parent, or any other member of my family.
I have a right to put an end to conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.
I have a right to all my feelings.
I have a right to trust my feelings, my judgment, my hunches, my intuition.
I have a right to develop myself as a whole person emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, and psychologically.
I have a right to express all my feelings in a nondestructive way and at a safe time and place.
I have a right to as much time as I need to experiment with this new information and these new ideas and to initiate changes in my life.
I have a right to sort out the bill of goods my parents sold me — to take the acceptable and dump the unacceptable.
I have a right to a mentally healthy, sane way of existence, though it will deviate in part, or all, from my parents' prescribed philosophy of life.
I have a right to carve out my place in this world.
I have a right to follow any of the above rights, to live my life the way I want to, and not wait until my <narcissistic> parent gets well, gets happy, seeks help, or admits there is a problem.
I hope some of this is helpful.
Lollie